


What We Go Through (bring me back to laughter)

by NerdsbianHokie



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Background Relationships, F/F, Grand theft auto, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, James/Lucy - Freeform, Step Up AU, cause i am weak, nb!vasquez, references to sex between minors, transphobia and mis-gendering later on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-15 02:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 44,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13021404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdsbianHokie/pseuds/NerdsbianHokie
Summary: After ending up in front of a judge one too many times, Alex Danvers is presented with the option of prison or 200 hours of community hours at the scene of the crime. With a cousin turned sister to look out for and a pair of friends on the street, she goes for the hours, which puts her in the path of the school's top dancer.





	1. Feel the Rhythm of the Beat (that's my heart)

**Author's Note:**

> TWs for this chapter: brief threats of sexual assault in the beginning

There was nothing but music, a pretty face, and the body pressed against hers. Her blood sang. Her muscles thrummed. The world pulsed through the haze of alcohol and lust.

Fingers slid against the bare skin at her waist and her mind raced to calculate the odds of her ending the night in bed with two women.

Maggie would go for it - she had gone for it earlier that week, and on three different nights two weeks before that, and the week before that, and - yeah, Maggie would be all for it.

It was this girl, with her flirty smile, and lingering touches. This girl, who had pulled Alex onto the dance floor with a single glance, who kept grinding into her, who was licking up her neck. If she could be convinced to share, Alex was certainly in for a fun night. If not, well, Alex could have more than enough fun with just Maggie.

She barely had time to decidedly not think about why she always chose Maggie over any girl who isn't into threesomes, when large hands wrapped around her hips and pulled her back against another body. She froze as a deep voice murmured in her ear.

“I told you - you keep making the moves on my girls, and I’m going to have to invite myself to the after party.”

“You don’t own her, Lord.” She tried to pull away as she spoke, but his grip held. “She can do whatever - and whoever - she wants.”

His grip tightened. “So can I.”

Alex spun, elbow coming up to catch his jaw.

The movement around them stopped. The dance floor cleared even as the music kept playing. Lord glared at Alex as he rubbed his jaw. He shook his head, then lunged.

Alex ducked under his arms, spinning around him as he stumbled. The rush of blood in her ears blocked out the roaring of the crowd. Lord turned back to her, said something that was lost to the noise, and threw a punch Alex easily blocked.

She laughed.

Lord rushed forward.

Alex braced herself, only to be shoved back as a small figure pushed herself between them. Lord was knocked off balance, stumbling into the crowd.

“What the fuck?” Alex hissed as the newcomer herded her backwards.

Maggie glared at her. “You’re going to get yourself killed.”

“You really are.”

They both turned to Lord at his words, turned to the pistol aimed at them.

Alex raised her hands, palms open.

“You don’t want to do that,” Maggie said, stepping back, pulling Alex with her.

“Pretty sure I do,” Lord growled.

“Lord,” Alex said. “Man, c’mon.”

“This is your last warning, Danvers,” he said. “I see you with one of my girls again, you’re gunna wish I had killed you tonight.”

“Of course,” Maggie answered. “She understands. Right, Alex?”

“Right.”

“And we’re gunna go. Right, Alex?”

“Right.”

Maggie nodded and began to pull Alex backwards.

“Have a good day, Max.”

Alex bristled at the slurs thrown after them, but kept her head high as Maggie pulled her out of the party. They broke into a run as soon as they got outside, turning corners, and skidding to a stop in an empty alley.

Alex backed Maggie against a wall and pressed against her, wrapping her hands around Maggie’s waist. Her body buzzed with a high so very different than the one at the party, and yet so very similar.

“That was pretty hot,” she husked, nipping at Maggie’s jaw.

“Nearly getting shot was hot?” Maggie asked, tilting her head, sliding her hands up the back of Alex’s shirt.

“Watching you stand up to that douche was hot.”

Maggie’s laugh cut off as Alex slid a leg between hers. Alex chuckled and pushed up.

“Really?”

They both froze at the voice. Alex hunched over Maggie, hiding her from whoever had spoken.

“Cause I thought it was pretty fucking stupid, but who cares what I think.”

They groaned as they recognized the voice.

“In fact, don’t mind me at all. You two can continue to just fuck in an alley.”

“Jamie,” Maggie growled.

“Do you want me to leave? Give you some privacy?”

Maggie sighed. She pushed Alex back enough to slip past her, then tackled her sister.

Alex leaned back against the wall and watched them wrestle until Maggie had Jamie pinned. Maggie crowed, arms flexing as she held Jamie down with her knees.

“Get offa me,” Jamie huffed, still struggling.

Maggie looked down at her. “No.”

Jamie glared at her as she stopped moving. “It was still stupid. We’re never gunna be let back in.”

“We’ll be fine, Luthor’ll smooth things over with Lord. You, however. You weren’t supposed to be there in the first place. You know how dangerous that is,” she said. “And you—” she turned to Alex— “stop it with Lord’s girls.”

Alex scoffed. “They aren’t anyone’s. Besides, she was coming onto me. Thank you, very much.”

“You still gotta stop it before he really does come after you.”

“I didn’t know you cared.”

“Well, nobody else ever gives this one a place to sleep when we’re between motels.”

Maggie shoved Jamie’s head to the side, then stood. She held a hand out to Jamie, helping her stand. She ruffled Jamie’s hair, then draped an arm over her shoulders as they walked back towards Alex.

“Speaking of places to sleep…” Maggie tilted her head so it was leaning on the side of Jamie’s.

Alex laughed. She stepped next to Maggie as they began to walk down the alley. “I should be able to sneak you in tonight. Fred and Edna are gone until Friday.”

“Ooh, five whole days.”

Alex leaned close to her and whispered so Jamie couldn’t hear. “I’ve wanted to fuck on their bed since we moved in, give it some real action.”

Maggie pushed her to the side. “We’ll see.”

“You two are talking about sex,” Jamie said.

“We are,” Alex agreed.

Jamie rolled her eyes. “Well, stop it.”

“But your sister is just so hot.” Alex slipped an arm around Maggie, pushing her hand into Maggie’s back pocket, and squeezing her ass. “And she does this thing with…”

“Eww.” Jamie pushed away from them, kicking at a trash can as she pulled ahead.

“You’re so mean,” Maggie laughed.

“She’ll get over it.”

Maggie hummed and wrapped her own arm around Alex’s waist. Neither of them commented on how they pressed together, on how close they were to blurring the lines they had set for themselves.

“Lex wants us to make a run tomorrow,” Maggie said, watching Jamie round a corner. “Should be easy enough, and decent pay. You game?”

“Course I am.”

The shattering of glass and a faint fuck ahead of them grabbed their attention.

“What is that girl doing?” Maggie sighed, pulling away from Alex.

They turned the corner to see Jamie crouched next to a broken basement window.

“Jamie?” Maggie said.

The girl shot up. “It was an accident, I swear. I just kicked a rock, and…” She gestured at the broken glass.

Maggie grimaced and looked around. “Let’s get out of here.”

“No, wait,” Jamie said, crouching back down to look through the window. “Let’s check it out.”

“What?” Maggie asked. “No way.”

“C’mon.” Jamie grinned at her. “I’ve heard about this place, it’s like a school or something.”

Alex looked up at the building. Large. Fancy. She scoffed.

Maggie shook her head as she looked up as well. “No way that’s a school.”

“Only way to find out,” Jamie said before sliding through the window.

“Jamie, wait…fuck.” Maggie looked from the window to Alex and back. “Well, thanks.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Alex scoffed.

“Sure, but you’re going after her.”

“She’s your sister.”

Maggie groaned. “Fine, but you’re coming too.”

Alex stared at Maggie as she ducked through the window.

“C’mon,” Maggie called from inside.

“Dammit”

The corridors inside were dark but clean. The floor sloped up until they reached a set of stairs.

Alex ran a hand up the banister, feeling the solidity of actual wood. The area at the top of the stairs was brighter, multiple windows letting in the light from street lamps.

“The fuck is this?” Alex murmured, stepping up to a glass display case. She eyed the contents inside, pictures of plays and concerts, play books and programs, metal plaques and an engraved trumpet.

“A fucking school,” Maggie laughed, pointing to a plaque that read  _ National City School of the Arts _ . “What sorta kids d’you think go here?”

Alex walked to another case. Her chest constricted for a moment as she stared at photos of ballerinas, the years printed in the bottom corners going back just under thirty years to the seventies.

“Lucky ones,” she said.

“Yeah, lucky to be born rich,” Maggie scoffed.

Alex shook her head and turned to large doors a few feet away. She vaguely listened to Jamie’s question of  _ people can actually bend their body like that? _ as she pushed the door open, revealing an auditorium.

The stage was full of props and set pieces that looked Ancient Grecian. She walked down the aisle, fingers trailing over the soft seats.

“What sort of bullshit is that?” Jamie laughed as she walked into the room with Maggie.

“Fucking rich kids, man,” Maggie sighed. “They get everything.”

Alex shrugged with one shoulder as she jumped onto the stage. She stepped onto a dais and turned to face the seats. For a moment, she could hear the hushed chatter of a crowd, could feel the ache in her muscles, could see her…

A loud crash broke the haze.

Maggie and Jamie were frozen, staring at a shattered vase.

“We should go,” Maggie said as Jamie backed away from the vase, raising a hand and pointing the blame at her sister.

“It’s not like they can’t afford it, right?” Alex said.

Maggie turned to her, eyebrow raised.

“Rich kids,” Alex shrugged. “Fuck ‘em.”

She jumped off of the dais, and kicked down a pillar, sending another vase to the ground.

Jamie laughed. Maggie eyed Alex for a moment, then laughed as well.

They bounced around the stage. Pillars fell with loud crashes. Pillows burst, sending feathers everywhere. Jamie was in a costume dress, then a hat and wig. Maggie and Alex sparred with fake swords.

Alex laughed as the tension building the entire night eased out.

Then Maggie was struggling to get out of a fallen curtain.

Then the lights turned on and a guard appeared.

Then Alex was telling Jamie to run, and she was hiding, and waiting.

Her blood roared in her ears. The tension she had just gotten rid of returned.

If Maggie was arrested, they would send her away, they would send her back. And how long after would it take them to find Jamie?

The guard shoved Maggie, and Alex lunged. She pulled the guards hands off of Maggie and pushed the other girl away.

Then she was on the ground.

Then she was telling Maggie to go.

Then the guard sneered at her, something about her being noble, and she really wished the night was ending with that threesome.

* * *

 

“Breaking and entering. Trespassing. Vandalism at the National City School of the Arts.”

Alex sighed as the judge spoke. She glanced at the door at the side of the courtroom, then down at her watch.

“You didn’t happen to transfer there recently, did you?”

She looked up as the court appointed advocate hit her shoulder. He gestured at her to stand, his face pinched. Alex rolled her eyes, but stood. She looked to the judge and shook her head.

“No.”

The judge huffed. “I keep hoping, every time you come in here, that it’ll be your last.” He shook his head. “You’re a smart kid, Danvers. You could go places, but instead you just keep coming back here.” He fiddled with his glasses. “Where are your foster parents?”

Alex shrugged.

“Words, Danvers.”

“They’re probably still trying to get off of work.”

Lie. They had been five hours up the coastline, spending the money they got taking kids in to go on vacation. Alex had no idea how long it had been since they started the drive back. How long after she had called them that they had decided to put forth the effort.

The judge sighed, reading something on his desk. “The security guard said that there was at least one person with you last night, possibly two. If you tell us who they were, the punishment will be shared amongst you.”

Alex raised her chin and stared at him.

He raised an eyebrow.

“Alright, then.” He handed a set of papers to the bailiff. “You get one last chance here, Danvers,” he said. “200 hours of community service, at the scene of the offense.”

Alex scoffed, but took the papers handed to her.

“And I better not see you in here again.”

“Whatever,” Alex mumbled as she turned to leave.

“I’m serious, Danvers,” the judge said. “The next time you find yourself in here, you will end up in prison.”

Alex eyed him for a moment, then walked out, forcing herself to keep her head up. The facade fell when she slumped on a bench in the hallway. She read through the papers.

The charges.

The orders.

A page of instructions from the Director of the school telling her where to report, and when to be there, and what type of work to expect.

Director J’onzz.

Her grip on the papers tightened, crinkling the edges, as she fought to not ball them up.

She stared at the clock across the hall, watching the hands tick away as she waited until a guardian came to pick her up.

“Alex.”

One hour, thirty seven minutes.

She glanced up as Edna walked towards her. She stood and began to walk back the way her foster mother had come.

“I got here as fast as I could.”

Alex said nothing. Nothing about how it had been seven hours since she had called. Nothing about how she had lied to the judge. Nothing about the fresh cigarette smell clinging to Edna’s shirt. Nothing about  _ prison _ . She just handed Edna the papers, and kept walking.

The world blurred around her as Edna dragged her to the grocery store before heading to the house. Anger crawled up the back of her skull and squeezed around her eyes.

Prison. Prison. Prison.

She couldn’t.

She still had Kara to take care of.

She needed to get a meeting with Mrs. Rhea, their caseworker, about this.

Fuck, if this had ruined her chance of getting custody of Kara...

She barely realized they had arrived at the house until she suddenly had her arms full of blond hair and excited rambles.

“We were so worried when you didn’t come back, then the cops came by, and Lena was still here babysitting, so she answered, only she couldn’t really answer the questions they were asking, and where were you? Why were you gone so long? Are they going to send you to prison?”

“Probably,” Fred’s grunt cut into Kara’s breathless speech. “About damn time, too.”

Alex shoved Kara off of her. She glanced at the man as she ignored the hurt look on her cousin’s face. “I go to prison, you don’t get your money,” she murmured as she passed his seat to reach the stairs.

“What was that?” he called after her.

She didn’t answer, just slipped into her room. She closed the door behind her and collapsed on the bed, arms under the pillow and folded under her head.

Fred and Edna weren’t going to let her out the rest of the night, so she wouldn’t be able to check in on Maggie and Jamie until after school.

Until after her hours.

Fuck, she hoped they were fine.

Her door opened then closed again.

Alex tensed, fists clenched.

She stared at the ceiling as a presence appeared next to her. She closed her eyes for a moment, then turned her head.

Her body relaxed.

“Yes?”

Kara watched her, chin resting on her arms, which were folded on the bed. Her eyes were wide, as if she was trying to fight off tears.

“You aren’t actually going to prison, are you?”

Alex sighed. She mentally cursed the man downstairs. Cursed herself. Cursed the entire fucking world. She cupped the side of Kara’s face, rubbing her cheek with her thumb.

“No, I’m not.”

Kara nodded. “Good.”

“C’mere, Supergirl.”

Alex pulled Kara onto the bed. The nine-year-old curled into her, reaching up and grabbing a lock of Alex’s hair.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Alex murmured. “It’s you and me, remember?”

“You and me,” Kara repeated pushing closer against Alex. She kept mumbling the words under her breath until she fell asleep.

Alex woke hours later with blond hair in her mouth and tapping on the balcony door. She carefully pulled away from Kara, detangling the fingers in her hair, and tucked the girl in before slipping out the door.

Maggie was leaning against the railing, facing away from the door. Alex resisted the urge to put her hand on the small of Maggie’s back as she stepped up next to her.

“How was it?” Maggie asked, voice small.

Alex shrugged. “Not bad. Two hundred hours community service.”

Maggie turned to her, eyes wide. “That’s ridiculous.”

Alex slouched against the railing. “It was that or prison.”

“Prison?”

Alex nodded, picking at the cuff of her sleeve. “Judge says this is my last chance.”

“Shit.” Maggie pressed her shoulder against Alex. “What’re you gunna do?”

“My hours, I guess.” Alex looked up at the sky, wishing she could see the stars. “And not get caught doing other stupid shit.”

“Guess that means it’s just me doing the runs from now on?”

“We haven’t gotten caught, have we?” Alex shook her head. “Besides, that isn’t stupid shit. You and Jamie need that money.”

“We aren’t worth you going to prison.”

Alex shrugged, fighting down the urge to argue, to admit that - maybe - Maggie and Jamie were worth it to her. “I won’t have much time anyway. I’ll be doing my hours during most of them.”

They fell into silence, just listening to the city, just feeling each other breath.

Alex found herself wishing - not for the first time - that whatever there was between her and Maggie was allowed to happen. Found herself wishing that they hadn’t agreed that they would just fuck. Found herself wishing she could wrap herself around Maggie and just forget.

Maggie shifted, running a hand through her hair.

“Thank you, by the way,” she said.

“For what?”

“For not letting me get caught.”

Maggie’s voice cracked over the last word. Alex pushed against her side to fight the urge to pull her into a hug.

“Anytime.”


	2. Cupid Shot Me With An Arrow (from the start)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Lucy, stage left

The halls of National City School of the Arts were vastly different during the day than at night. Were vastly different than the ones at her school.

Just as busy, just as full, yet so very different.

The bustle came from students carrying on with their work as they left their classes. A pair practiced their violins in one corner. A few girls were harmonizing as they walked. Students were crowded around portfolios and cameras.

They were socializing, but also…working.

Alex shook her head. She glanced through a window, into a studio full of students sketching a bowl of fruit.

Fucking art school.

She followed the directions she had memorized from the papers until she reached an official looking door with a plaque reading Director J’onzz.

Alex stared at the plaque for a moment before peeking through the glass.

Her stomach twisted at the sight of the man inside. Old, nearly forgotten memories flashed through her mind before she could push them back.

She knocked on the door as she opened it.

Director J’onzz glanced at her. He paused for a moment, eyes narrowed as he watched her, then he held up a finger as he continued talking.

Alex stepped in and closed the door. She looked around the office, taking in the diplomas on the wall, the multiple bookshelves, the pictures of dance companies. She glanced at every face in the pictures. Stomach twisting in both hope and dread.

“Now, Ms. Danvers,” the man said, grabbing her attention. “Have a seat.”

Alex watched him for a moment, then sat in the seat across from him. She slumped down, pulling her sleeves over her hands and fiddling with her cuffs. She looked everywhere but at the man as he stared at her.

“You don’t feel any remorse.”

Alex shrugged one shoulder up. J’onzz shifted, leaning towards her.

“You don’t understand the consequences of what you did.”

Alex glanced at him, then down at her hands. “Two hundred hours isn’t a hard concept to grasp.”

He shook his head. “It’s more than that.”

Alex’s stomach dropped. Her heart raced. If this man was going to add more to her punishment, she would fight him.

“The cost of the damage you did is about the same as a single student’s tuition.”

Alex blinked.

“As most of our students are here on scholarship, you just cost someone their place here.”

Alex stared at him.

“You just cost someone their future.”

Alex shrugged. “Sorry.”

J’onzz stared at her, clearly seeing right through the apology.

“I’m just here to do my hours,” Alex said.

He stared for another moment, then sighed. He picked up a paper, quickly reading.

“You get off of school at two Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, correct?”

She nodded.

“And at noon on Tuesday and Thursday?”

She nodded again.

“The court order is that you will report in thirty minutes after you get off, and will stay each day until five thirty.

Alex surged forward in her seat. “What?”

He raised an eyebrow at her.

“I have…stuff to do. I can’t be here that much.”

“Ms. Danvers, this is, in fact, a punishment. It would hardly be an effective one if it didn’t inconvenience you in some way.”

“But that’s…”

“Perhaps next time you will think before you act.”

Alex slumped back and scoffed. “Fine, whatever.”

J’onzz regarded her for a moment, then stood. “Follow me.”

Alex groaned as she followed him out of the office and through the school. She shoved her hands in her pockets and sneered at any student who looked too close.

J’onzz stopped and knocked on a door. A man wearing a jumpsuit quickly answered.

“Your new recruit, Mr. McCafree,” J’onzz said.

The man eyed Alex. Alex stared back.

“I don’t have a jumpsuit small enough,” he said.

Alex shrugged. “I’ll figure it out.”

The man raised both of his eyebrows. “Well, pardon me.”

He stepped back through the door. When he stepped out again, he threw the jumpsuit at her. “Here you go. Figure it out, then grab a bin and start collecting the trash from the studios.”

* * *

 

Lucy’s finger tapped to the beat being called out. She watched the current group go through the movements, keeping track of each mistake made, taking note of how to not make them herself.

“Who is that?”

M'gann’s question made Lucy glance at her friend, then turn back to the dance.

“No, really.”

M'gann’s hand on her arm pulled her attention from the dance, then a jerk of her friends head sent it across the room, and…okay, maybe the tall girl on the other side of the studio warranted a distraction. A small one.

Lucy shook her head, turning back to the class.

“Oh, c’mon,” M'gann sighed. “She’s hot.”

“I thought you said you have a girlfriend?” Lucy asked.

“I do, and she’d be staring as well.”

Lucy just shook her head as she laughed, then stepped forward and slid into the routine. She let her muscles take over as her mind focused on the details, on the point of her toes, on the position of her hands. She took in the  _ good, Lucy _ from the instructor, and filed it away.

She spun out of the final movement, already going over the routine in her head. She needed to keep her elbows tighter in the second spin, and watch her landing on the final jump.

She looked up, her steps almost faltering when she met dark brown eyes. The girl’s lips quirked up at the edges.

“Hey,” she said.

Lucy nodded slightly and returned a whispered hey before turning to watch M'gann’s group. A few moments later, Lucy looked over her shoulder only to look front again when she found the girl watching her.

M'gann’s group finished after a few more counts, and the instructor called an end to the class. 

Lucy glanced at the girl as she walked towards the bench her stuff was on. Tall, broody, and wearing an oversized jumpsuit with the arms tied around her waist, Lucy could see why M'gann kept staring at her.

Especially with those muscles perfectly shown off by the grey tank top.

No. Lucy shook her head and grabbed her bag, pulling it into her lap as she sat. She did not need to be thinking about that girls muscles, about anybody’s muscles.

Any girl’s muscles.

Any girl.

Fuck.

She looked up as someone walked to her side, and smiled at  Mon-El .

“We’re still on for the extra rehearsal this afternoon, right?” he asked.

“Of course.”

“Great. I’ll see you there.”

“Yeah.”

Mon-El walked off, and was quickly replaced by James. Lucy smiled.

“Hey,” she said, closing her bag and standing.

James bent down to press a kiss to her cheek. “Hey, babe. How was class?”

“Good. Yours?”

“Good.” He laced his fingers through hers as they walked across the studio. “White said I just need two or three more really good shots, and my portfolio will be ready.”

“That’s great.”

M'gann stepped up to them, looking over her shoulder. “Do you know who that is?”

James and Lucy looked back. The girl was pulling the full trash bags from the cans in the corner.

“She’s the one who trashed the theater,” James answered.

Lucy missed M'gann’s response as the girl looked their way and met Lucy’s eyes across the room. For a moment, Lucy forgot that she was supposed to be walking, then James pulled lightly on her hand.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she answered, smiling at him. “She isn’t what I expected.”

“I don’t think she’s what anyone expected,” James said.

Lucy pushed the girl to the back of her mind as they walked through the halls.

“Do you want to get together after school?” James asked.

Lucy gave him a small smile. “I can’t.  Mon-El and I are doing an extra rehearsal.”

James let out a heavy sigh.

“I’m sorry,” she continued.

“No, it’s fine,” he said. “I get it.”

Lucy didn’t let her shoulders drop. It had been a few weeks since she and James had been able to go out. If one of them was free, the other always had work, or rehearsal, or a photo shoot.

“We knew this semester would be rough,” he said.

Lucy nodded. “Just a few more months.”

“We’ve got this, babe.”

She laughed. James stopped, and pulled her to the side of the hall. M'gann lingered a few steps away.

“We’ll figure this out,” James said. “We’ll both get what we want, then we’ll have the rest of the year to just be us.”

Lucy grinned. “I can’t wait.”

She stretched up to meet him in a kiss. He brushed some of her hair back when he pulled away.

“I have to get to the dark room, but I’ll call you later?”

Lucy nodded. “Okay.”

He squeezed her hand, then stepped away and into the flow of the hallway.

“You two are gross,” M'gann said.

“Just cause you can’t be gross with your supposed girlfriend…”

“Supposed girlfriend?”

Lucy threw her a look as she took a step down the hallway.

“There is nothing ‘supposed’ about my girlfriend,” M'gann argued. “Just because you haven’t met Erin doesn’t mean she doesn’t exist.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Her band is on tour. She’ll be back in, like, a month, just over, maybe, and she’ll be playing at the club.”

“Sure she will.”

“You’ll see.” M'gann bumped her shoulder. “But what’s going on with you and James? You two managed through the junior projects.”

“These aren’t junior projects,” Lucy replied. “Our futures depend on these.”

“You can still take a night or two off each week. You’re going to overwork yourself.”

“The showcase is less than three months away, I can take all the nights off I want then.”

“If you make it that long.”

“I have to make it.”

“It isn’t healthy.”

“Lucy!”

They both stopped and turned to watch Vasquez fight through the crowd. Vasquez held out a CD when they reached them.

“I put together a new track. It has the same rhythm and tempo, but with a deeper intensity,” they said as Lucy took the CD. “It should take the routine up a notch.”

Lucy stared at the CD. Her mind was racing. A new track meant making sure the steps matched. Making sure the feel of the dance was the same. Double checking costume designs. Extra rehearsals and…

The CD was pulled from her hand.

“Stop thinking so hard about it,” M'gann said. “And you-” she turned to Vasquez “-stop encouraging her.”

“Woah,” Vasquez said. “I’m just trying to help.”

“And I’m trying to get Lucy to not kill herself working on the showcase.”

Their conversation faded to the background as music began to flow through a nearby window. Lucy glanced at her friends, who were focused on their argument - about her - and stepped to the window.

A black car had pulled into the side lot below, stopping next to The Girl, who was throwing bags into the dumpster. Two girls got out of the car without turning it off, by the way the music continued to play. The Girl hugged both of them, ruffling the shorter one’s hair before shoving her away.

The girls from the car sat on the hood as The Girl gestured back at the school then…started to dance.

Lucy stared at the way The Girl moved, the way she flowed, the control she had over her limbs. It wasn’t pure street dancing, though. There were hints of something else, something Lucy couldn’t pick up from the distance.

The Girl stopped, then started again. A clear mockery of the dancing taught in the school as she twirled and threw her gloves up.

The girls sitting on the car laughed. The smaller one doubled over and fell off of the hood.

The Girl went back to street dancing. Her friends scrambled as she slid across the hood, then turned and used the car to do a back-flip. She landed and spun into a turn, then stopped.

Lucy jerked away from the window when she realized that The Girl was looking right at her. She pressed against the wall next to the window, trying to process what she just saw.

“Lucy,” M'gann called.

Lucy looked at her, looked at Vasquez’s sheepish expression.

“You still with us?” M'gann asked.

“Yeah, sorry,” Lucy said. She pushed off of the wall. She glanced out the window as she passed - the three girls were huddled together - then followed M'gann and Vasquez down the hallway.

* * *

 

Alex lounged across the backseat of the car Maggie and Jamie had pulled up in. It smelled of cigar and wet dog - almost as bad as the gloves McCafree had given her.

“How much are you expecting to get from Lex for this rust bucket?” she asked, picking at a loose thread in the upholstery.

“Two hundred, hopefully,” Maggie answered. “Get us a room for a few nights.”

Alex hummed. “Sorry this week fell through.”

“Don’t even worry, we managed to scrape enough together,” Maggie laughed. “Besides, you’re the one who has to deal with those rich kids.”

“Do they do normal classes?” Jamie asked. She turned around the edge of the seat, only to be pushed back by Maggie.

“I dunno,” Alex answered. “Most of what I saw was art shit. Dancing, painting, a lot of instruments.”

“I used to play the recorder.”

“Everybody used to play the recorder,” Maggie cut in. “It’s some stupid thing every school does.”

“I liked it.”

“Course you did.”

“Let me guess,” Alex said, sitting up and leaning up between the seats. “You were an athlete?”

Maggie grinned. “Soccer, winter track, and softball.”

“Fucking jock.”

“Fucking nerd.”

Alex grinned, then laid back down. She stared at the roof of the car, images of Maggie in a soccer uniform, in running shorts and a sports bra, naked on her bed interspersed with images of the girl in the dance class, the girl who had been watching her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are very much appreciated and loved. Thank you:D


	3. Stepping on the Dance floor (me and you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy and Alex make an arrangement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No TWs, but the first scene is a post-sex scene.

Maggie stared across the shed, at where the opposite wall met the ceiling. Her grip on Alex’s hair slowly eased as she felt Alex press kisses to her thighs. She ignored the warmth the kisses spread through her, she pushed down the thoughts of what actually kissing Alex might feel like.

She started to straighten out the tangled locks, giving the warmth a release. Her hips jerked when Alex pressed one more kiss against her, then stood.

Maggie watched as Alex pulled her pants up for her, as Alex zipped and buttoned them, as Alex buckled her belt. She wrapped a hand around the back of Alex’s neck and pulled her forward.

“You’ve got something - uh - everywhere,” she murmured before running her tongue along Alex’s jawline, tasting herself on Alex’s skin.

Alex grabbed her hips as she began to lick up the liquid that clung to Alex’s cheeks, jaw, chin…

She flicked her tongue over Alex’s lips. Alex’s head dipped forward, her lips parted. Maggie’s stomach twisted. She pulled back, then nipped at Alex’s jaw.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” she mumbled against Alex’s skin.

Alex hummed, then cursed. “I’m gunna be late.” She pulled away from Maggie and grabbed her bag from where it sat in the corner.

“Just tell them it was my fault.”

Alex gave her an unimpressed look as she wiped at her mouth. “Tell the preppy art school people I’m late because I had to eat out a girl? That’ll go over well.”

“You were on time every day last week, doesn’t that count for something?”

“A single week does not atonement make.”

Maggie blinked. She raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry,” Alex murmured.

“Nerd.”

Alex shrugged. “You doing a run tonight?”

“Yeah, Lex’s getting stingier and stingier. I got him a decent ‘95 Ford the other day, eleven years old, no damage, pretty low mileage, and he only gave me three hundred.”

“What?”

“Yeah. Enough to keep the room for another week, and some food, but it’s already almost gone.”

“You want my help tonight?”

“Nah. I’m probably gunna do it in the next hour or so, that way I won’t have to drag Jamie along.”

“So responsible of you.”

“Shut up.”

Alex slung her bag over her shoulder. “Alright, then. I’ll see you?”

“You know it.”

Maggie’s eyes slid from the back of Alex’s head to her ass as she stepped to the door, then through it. When the door closed behind Alex, Maggie slumped back against the wall.

She breathed for a few moments, actively not thinking about Alex. She pushed off of the wall, and pulled her hair back to tie it in a low ponytail. She licked her lips, still tasting herself, then strode out of the shed. She glanced around, eying the class of students at the other end of the field.

None of them were paying her any attention - probably weren’t even paying their teacher attention. She turned around the shed, and, already planning how she would find a car worth enough for Lex, slipped through the hole in the school fence.

* * *

 

Lucy breathed, eyes closed, and just listened to the music. Vasquez had given her the a new track the previous day, and she was still figuring out how it fit with the routine. If her partner couldn’t be bothered to show up on time, she would at least get some work done.

She leaned against the piano. She pressed a few buttons on the CD player to skip the track back, listening to the last few notes again, then skipping it back once more. She chewed on her lip. Her foot tapped against the other’s heel. Her finger tapped against the piano lid.

An even click-clack crossing the studio pulled her attention from the music. She looked up. Her heart fell.

“ Mon-El ? What happened?”

The boy shrugged, the movement awkward with his crutches.

“Came down wrong in class today.”

She glanced at the boot  Mon-El was wearing, and took a deep breath.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “The nurse says it’s a bad sprain, maybe a fracture. Either way, I have to stay off of it for a few weeks.”

Lucy nodded. Her mind started to burn through what she needed to do.

“I’m sorry,”  Mon-El said.

Lucy forced a smile. “It’s alright. Do what you need to get better.”

He gave a sad smile. “I should be back before the showcase.”

“Great. I’ll find a temporary rehearsal partner until then.”

“I really am sorry.”

“I know. It’ll be fine. We’ll figure it out.”

He nodded, then turned and limped away. Lucy waited until he was out of sight to sit on the piano bench, her body slumping against the piano.

Okay. Okay. She could figure this out.

Auditions. All of the seniors and juniors would be busy with their own projects.

So…freshmen and sophomores?

But, would they be good enough?

Did she have a choice?

Auditions. She needed to go talk to the underclass instructors, see if they could spread the word through their classes, then she could have the auditions…

“Was that  Mon-El ?”

…Or

Lucy turned to James, who was twisted around, looking back the way he came.

“It was,” she said. “He got hurt in class.”

James turned, then stopped when he saw her. “Oh no.”

“Please.”

He shook his head. “I can’t dance, Lucy.”

“I can teach you the basics.” She stood and took a step towards him. “It’ll just be for a few weeks, until he gets better.”

“You know how bad I am at dancing.”

“C’mon, James. Please.”

He sighed. “I wish I could. I really do, but wouldn’t it be better to find someone who will actually be able to help?”

Lucy leaned back against the piano. “Yeah. You’re right.” She sighed and shook her head. “It’s just…”

“Frustrating? Aggravating? Not according to plan?”

“All of the above.”

James chuckled. “You’ll find someone. I know you will.”

“Yeah.” She looked at him and grimaced. “I’m probably going to have to work through our lunch hour, getting things ready to audition some of the younger students.”

He tried, she could see that he tried, but the disappointment still showed on his face.

“Of course,” he said. “I get it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not a big deal. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

He bent down to kiss her, then turned and walked out of the studio. Lucy watched him for a moment, then turned back to the CD player. She restarted the track, mind already back on her dance, and missing the person practically sprinting past the studio.

* * *

 

Alex was proud of herself. She had managed to take the twenty minutes it typically took to get from her school to NCSA, and turned it into twelve. She was still late, but not as late.

She spun around a corner, and skidded to a stop, only just managing to not run into Director J’onzz. She froze as he stared down at her.

For a moment, she felt like she was a child again.

“You’re late.”

“Only, like, fifteen minutes.”

“Late is late.”

“Isn’t there a grace period or something? My school isn’t exactly close.”

“You had no problems last week, and were, in fact, early a few days.”

Alex shuffled her feet. She knew she shouldn’t have waited inside the school to start her hours.

“As for a grace period, that is something to be earned, which you have not.” J’onzz looked at his watch. “You have, however, earned the right to stay late, to make up the time.”

Alex sighed, her shoulders slumped.

“Now, I believe Mr. McCafree is waiting for you.”

He turned slightly, gesturing for her to keep moving down the hall. Alex shoved her hands in her pockets and walked past him.

“Oh, and Ms. Danvers.”

She stopped and turned around.

“No running in the halls.”

Alex rolled her eyes as Director J’onzz turned and walked the opposite way down the hall. She turned around again, and made her way to McCafree’s office much slower than necessary.

The man just grunted at her when she pushed through the door. She barely glanced at him as she grabbed her jumpsuit and the list of tasks.

She moved through the list slowly, as much due to her lack of desire to work, as to the fact that the school was still full of students who often undid what she had just done.

Changing the fluorescent lights in the hallways would have taken half the time if she didn’t get stuck on the ladder each time students streamed past.

Vacuuming the carpets in the orchestra rooms would have been easier if she had more than the ten minutes between classes.

Mopping the entrance floor would have been possible if people weren’t constantly tracking mud inside.

She would have pushed them off until after the school let out, but there were set tasks for her to do then, ones that would fill the entire time she had between the final bell and when she got to leave.

She was pretty sure McCafree got off on giving her impossible jobs.

A modern Sisyphus, that’s what she was.

Alex hung up the mop, and emptied the bucket before looking at the next thing on her list.

Clean the windows in Dance Studio B.

Okay. Even if there were dancers in the studio, they shouldn’t be right by the windows. She shoved the spray bottle of window cleaner and a few rags in her pockets, then headed to the studio.

There were dancers in the studio, although it wasn’t a class.

A group of male students were chatting as they stretched in one corner. They kept glancing to the other corner, where the girl who had been watching Alex dance was talking to a person with slicked back hair and headphones around their neck.

Alex eyed the girl for a moment, then shook her head. She moved to the corner of the room, where the ladder tall enough to reach the top of the windows was kept.

Two sharp claps sounded through the room as she set the ladder up next to the first window. Alex glanced over to watch the girl walk towards the boys. The other person had left.

“Alright,” the girl said. “First, I would like to thank all of you for coming to the audition.”

Alex shook her head. Was this really what these kids did in their free time? She focused on the windows as the girl explained what they were doing - lifts and holds and extra hours after school.

Music started to play after she had finished the top row of panels in the first window. She looked over as she moved down a few steps.

The girl was standing a few feet away from one of the boys. She asked if he was ready. He nodded. She jogged towards him. He ran back before she could even jump into the lift.

Alex snorted. The girl glared at her as she moved back to her starting position. Alex turned back to the windows, until she heard the girl run across the floor again. She looked back in time to watch the girl bowl into the boy as he failed to catch her. The boy fell, but the girl stayed on her feet despite tripping over him.

Alex stifled her laughter. So much for art school. The girl sent her another glare. Alex just quirked an eyebrow up and smirked.

The girl helped the boy stand, and shook his hand in a clear dismissal. She avoided looking at Alex as the auditions continued. Alex was happy to watch.

Through the boy who practically tossed her over his shoulder.

Through the boy she lifted, but collapsed when he tried.

Through the boy who couldn’t hold her weight as they came out of a spin.

Alex had just finished the bottom row of panels on the first window as the girl dismissed the final boy. She was still chuckling over the way he had fumbled when the girl turned to her.

“I’m glad you find this funny.”

Alex laughed. “It is. I mean, isn’t this an art school? Aren’t all of you supposed to be good? That,” she pointed out the door the boys had all left through, “that wasn’t good.”

“So you think you could do better?” The girl crossed her arms.

Alex shrugged. “Yeah. I do.”

The girl shook her head and scoffed.

“Don’t act so surprised,” Alex continued. “I know you saw me the other day.”

The girl’s face tightened for a moment. She eyed Alex.

“Alright then.”

Alex blinked. “Alright then, what?”

The girl jerked her head over her shoulder. “Stand over there.”

Alex watched the girl for a moment, then shrugged, and walked to where the girl wanted her.

“Now what?”

“Catch me.”

The girl was running.

Instinct took over Alex.

She was bending her knees.

She was dropping the rag.

Her hands wrapped around the girl’s waist.

And the girl…

The girl was over her head, her arms spread, her feet pointed.

She looked down at Alex, eyes wide, as Alex slowly turned. As Alex lowered her. As Alex dropped her just enough to get an arm under her legs and the other around her back. As Alex held her.

“Told you,” Alex murmured.

The girl nodded, eyes still wide, feet kicking through the air.

“Could you - uh - put me down?”

Alex smirked. She nodded. She let go of the girl’s legs so she could stand. The girl stepped back instantly.

They stared at each other for a few moments before the girl held out her hand.

“Lucy.”

Alex slowly took her hand. “Alex.”

Neither of them went to drop their hand, until Lucy jerked hers back and wrapped her arms around herself. Alex shoved her hands in her pockets and rocked back on her heels.

“So,” Lucy started. “This may sound crazy, but I do need a rehearsal partner right now and…”

“Everybody else sucked?”

Lucy glared at her, then nodded with a sigh. “They’re sophomores and freshmen, and clearly haven’t gotten to that level yet.”

Alex hummed. “You know, I would love to help. Really, but I’m kinda here to clean.”

“I’m sure I can talk Director J’onzz into it.”

Alex scoffed.

Fifteen minutes later, she was wandering around the Director’s office as Lucy pleaded her case.

“What about a solo?” Director J’onzz 

Alex ran a finger over the frame holding a degree from the Royal Ballet School.

“I don’t have time to work out a solo,” Lucy argued. “Not one good enough at least.”

Alex eyed a few plaques as she walked to a bookshelf.

“What about the sophomores?”

“I already auditioned a bunch of them. None of them can handle the lifts.”

Alex read a few of titles on the shelf, then turned to the pictures.

“There is really no one else?”

“Nobody who has the time.”

There was a picture in the back of the shelf. A young J’onzz with another dancer. Her stomach flipped, her heart clenched as she stared at the picture. She reached back to grab it, to get a better look.

“She can dance?”

There was a pause. Alex accidentally knocked another frame over.

“Well enough.”

Alex righted the frame and turned around. “Well enough?”

“She isn’t taking it seriously,” J’onzz said.

Alex stepped to the center of the room, next to Lucy.

“I’m sorry, it’s just…” She thought for a moment. “You’re talking about dance like it’s rocket science.”

J’onzz raised an eyebrow. Lucy sighed. Alex pushed.

“I mean, there’s a science involved, yeah. It’s physics. The force, and mass, and velocity, and everything, but sometimes you just gotta…dance, just gotta feel it.”

J’onzz eyed her for a few silent moments, then turned to Lucy.

“It’s only until  Mon-El gets better, a few weeks, maybe a month,” Lucy said.

“It’s your risk,” J’onzz said. “Your senior piece.”

“I know.”

J’onzz stared at them, then inclined his head. “Do not make me regret this.”

Lucy grinned. “Thank you.” She grabbed her bag from the chair and started to walk out of the office. She spun back around at the door, looking at Alex. “Two thirty, tomorrow, Studio B. Bring tights.”

Alex’s brow furrowed as Lucy walked out. “Tights?”

“I hope you don’t think this will get you out of cleaning entirely,” J’onzz said from behind her.

Alex groaned, then turned. “Of course not.”

“I will talk to Mr. McCafree, and he will give you a shorter list of tasks to accomplish between rehearsals.”

“Sounds perfect.”

J’onzz eyed her once more, then gestured for her to leave.

* * *

 

“How was school?”

Lucy swallowed the food in her mouth, then looked up at her father.

“It was…good.” She took a sip of water. “ Mon-El got injured in class yesterday, but I managed to find a new rehearsal partner.”

“So fast?”

Lucy nodded. “I talked to some of the instructors, and they sent a few sophomores and freshmen to audition.”

She looked back down at her plate.

The fact that she hadn’t chosen any of them wasn’t important enough to tell her father. That she had chosen a girl — a girl who was at the school for community service, even less so.

It wasn’t important, really. The Girl…Alex. Alex was just a rehearsal partner, after all.

“You got applications to Harvard and Stanford in the mail today.”

Lucy looked up. Her father did the same after a few moments of silence.

“You already have a spot waiting for you at the Academy. I can understand waiting to see if anything comes from your dancing, but I don’t see the point of applying to these colleges now.”

Lucy ignored the way her stomach clenched.

“I’m just trying to keep my options open,” she said.

_ Just in case _ , she didn’t say. In case they found out the way her heart jumped when a pretty girl smiled at her, or how she buzzed when her Alex’s fingers crossed from clothing to skin.

Just in case they found out she’s bi and decided she wasn’t fit to serve.

“I’m not saying that isn’t a good idea,” her father said. “Just get your commission first.”

Lucy took a deep breath.

“Of course.”

* * *

 

Alex swallowed the last bite of her cheeseburger, and leaned against Kara.

“Whaaat’re you doing?” she asked. She tried to look at the page Kara was drawing on, but the girl closed her notebook.

“It’s nothing,” Kara replied.

“Nothing, huh?”

“Yeah, nothing.” Kara opened the book just enough to glance inside, then closed it again. “Just some doodles.”

“Doodles?” Alex reached around Kara to steal a few fries. “Gunna doodle your way into a museum?”

Kara ignored the question in lieu of the food theft.

“Hey!”

“Hey, yourself.”

A small laugh from across the table made both of them freeze and turn. It was the first noise they had heard from the boy since he moved in a few weeks back, and, from the way Winn stared back at them, he clearly regretted it.

Kara almost looked ready to say something, before remembering her fries. She turned back to Alex and put on her most serious, nine year old face.

“Those are mine!”

Alex shrugged. She put a few in her mouth, then handed the rest back. Kara glared at her as she took the fries, then shoved them into her mouth.

“How was the art place?” Kara asked around the fries.

“It was…” Images flashed through her mind - Lucy’s ass in those shorts - Lucy looking down at her during the lift - Lucy arguing with J’onzz - Lucy - Lucy. “Artsy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make writers happy  
> Thanks to everyone who has left one :)


	4. Stepping on the Dance floor (me and you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dancing of all kinds

Lucy listened to the beat, eyes closed, fingers tapping against her thumb to the rhythm. She nodded her head, and waited for the music to loop again.

She opened her eyes right before it did, and watched herself as she slid into the movements she had mapped out the moment before.

The door opened as she exited a turn. The Girl - Alex - Alex - Alex - she needed to remember that - walked in.

Walked in wearing jeans and a t-shirt, both over-sized.

Lucy glanced at her watch as she walked to the CD player.

“I’m on time,” Alex said.

Exactly on time, actually. As if she’d waited in the hallway.

“You aren’t dressed,” Lucy said in reply. “I told you to wear tights.”

Alex looked down at herself, brow furrowing as she looked back up. “I don’t own tights.”

Lucy let out a breath. “Fine. Shoes?”

“What about them?”

“Take them off. No street shoes on the dance floor.”

“I dance better with them on.”

Lucy crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “Afraid of slipping?”

Alex scoffed, but toed her shoes off. She stepped towards Lucy.

“What now?”

Lucy took a step back, aware of the space between them, aware of the need to keep space between them.

“I’m going to show you the first combination.”

Alex nodded, looking back and forth between the mirror and Lucy.

Lucy went through each step of the combination, naming them as she went. She stepped out of the contract, and looked at Alex.

“Got it?”

Alex nodded, her eyes on the mirror.

“Alright,” Lucy continued. “Slow at first.”

Alex copied the movements without much difficulty. Or, the basics anyway. She lacked finesse, but clearly understood the mechanics. Lucy could see where muscle memory was kicking in.

“You used to dance.”

Alex froze. She glanced at Lucy then stared at her own reflection in the mirror.

“You know I dance,” she said, trying, and failing, to keep her voice light.

“Not that, real dancing. You were trained.”

Alex’s jaw clenched. She raised her chin and squared her shoulders.

“Just because they don’t teach it here, doesn’t mean it isn’t real dancing.”

“That’s not what I…”

“The definition of dancing is to move rhythmically to music, nobody needs stuffy lessons to learn.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Sure you didn’t.”

They fell into silence, Alex staring at the mirror, Lucy glancing between Alex and her reflection.

Lucy took a step forward, mind searching for something to say to get the rehearsal back on track, only to have her attention pulled to the person walking into the studio.

“James.” She smiled, but it felt awkward. Why did she feel awkward? It wasn’t like she was doing anything wrong.

James’ smile was more natural as he walked towards them. He held a hand out towards Alex as he neared.

“You must be the rehearsal partner,” he said.

Alex took his hand, then quickly released it. “Alex.”

James eyed her for a moment, then turned to Lucy. “Do you know how much longer you’re going to rehearse today?”

“My entire free period, you know that.”

James’ face dropped. “That’s right. You did tell me. I’ll see you after school, then?”

Lucy grimaced. “I have work after school.”

James pulled in a breath and nodded. “Tomorrow, then?”

Lucy nodded and smiled. “Tomorrow.”

James bent down to kiss her, then nodded at Alex, then left.

Alex shifted slightly, hands in her pockets, head ducked so she was staring at the floor.

Lucy took a deep breath, then turned to the mirror.

“Okay, let’s go through it again,” she said, relieved to be able to get back to the dance.

* * *

 

Alex shuffled through the papers she had pulled from the glove compartment. Car maintenance quotes, insurance papers…

“Holy fuck, there’s a fifty in here,” she said, unfolding the bill. “Who the fuck drives around in a shit car like this, and keeps a fifty in the glove?”

“Can I have it?” Jamie asked, leaning forward between the front seats.

“Buckle your fucking seat belt and we’ll think about it,” Maggie replied.

Jamie huffed but sat back and buckled. “There, now can I have it?”

Alex glanced at Maggie, who kept her eyes forward, watching the road. After a few moments, Alex shrugged and passed the bill back.

“Knock yourself out, kid.”

Jamie laughed. “Sweet.” She held the bill up to the window, using the streetlamps to look at it, then shoved it in her pocket.

“Don’t mention that to Lex,” Maggie said as she turned a corner and honked.

“Not a word,” Jamie promised.

They turned into a driveway, stopping briefly as they waited for the gate to open, then pulled into a small lot.

Maggie and Alex shared a look before climbing out of the car and walking in front of it. Lex’s goons stepped forwards and began to circle around the car, inspecting it. Jamie slipped to the side, where Lena was hunched over a book. The two fourteen year olds quickly starting a conversation.

Alex felt Maggie bristle at the way Lex’s eyes followed Jamie. She brushed her hand over Maggie’s, hoping to calm her, only to tense up herself when Lex turned to them, then to the car behind them.

“What is this?”

“A car,” Maggie replied.

Lex raised an eyebrow. “That piece of shit?”

Maggie sucked in a breath. “I can’t always manage nice cars.”

“You never manage nice cars.”

He stepped towards them. Alex forced herself to stay still as he towered over them.

“You’re losing it, Sawyer, and I’m starting to regret bringing you in.”

“I’m doing what I can.”

“And starting fights?”

“Fights?”

“With Max Lord?”

Alex bristled. “Lord started that fight, not us.”

“Yeah, well, Lord actually brings in profit.” He shrugged. “You bring me a nice car, and I’ll think about taking you back.” He glanced at the car behind them. “Maybe something built in this century.”

Maggie sucked in a breath. “Fine.” She called over to Jamie, who huffed but walked back to the car.

Alex stared at Lex for another moment. He raised an eyebrow at her, then laughed when she turned away.

“You’re just a couple of kids, don’t forget that,” Lex said as Alex climbed into the car.

The drive away was silent. The questions Jamie asked when they first pulled away quickly dying as they went unanswered.

Alex itched to reach out and grab the hand Maggie rested on the center console. She stared out the window instead, and watched the city blur past.

Just a couple of kids.

Alex picked at a loose thread on the seat. She wasn’t a kid. She was seventeen years old, and had dealt with more than most adults did.

Her days of just being a kid had ended when she was nine years old and her parents hadn’t come home. When her newborn cousin had been taken in by distant relatives, but she and Kara had been deemed too much by the older couple. When they had been left to fend for themselves.

They pulled up in front of the motel Maggie and Jamie were staying at for the week. Alex stayed in the car as Maggie walked Jamie to their room.

Maggie hadn’t been a kid in years, either, raising her sister after getting them away from their father.

And Jamie? Maggie did her best to keep Jamie safe, to keep Jamie’s childhood from being completely destroyed, but there was only so much she could do. On top of the constant fear of being found by their father, was the constant fear that someone would find out that Jamie was trans.

Kids.

What the fuck did Lex Luthor know?

The driver’s door opening and closing pulled her attention from her thoughts.

Maggie’s hands were flexing around the steering wheel, her knuckles turning white. She stared straight ahead, taking deep breaths, then shook her head and pulled away from the curb.

“We need to burn the car.”

“What?”

“Lex’s policy. Any car he doesn’t take gets burnt.”

“That’s…really fucking dangerous.”

“Yeah? Well, your prints are in the system, so do you really want to just leave the car on the side of the road?”

Alex blinked and stared out the windshield. Right.

“I know a few places,” Maggie continued. “I can drop you at your place first.”

“No. I’ll go with you.”

Maggie took a deep breath. She glanced at Alex for a moment.

Alex picked at the thread.

“What’re you gunna do?”

Maggie shook her head. “Find a good enough car, I guess.” She sighed. “I don’t really have another choice, do I? Lex is gunna blacklist me until I do. No other dealer will take a car from me.”

Alex sunk into the seat. “That’s bull.”

Maggie shrugged. She loosened her grip on the wheel. She glanced at Alex with a smirk.

“How about we give this rust bucket a proper send off?”

Alex raised an eyebrow. It was an obvious diversion, but she went with it.

“How do you propose we do that?”

“You. Naked. In the backseat.”

Alex laughed. “I’m not getting naked in this car. It smells like piss.”

“Fine. You. In the backseat. My hand down your pants.”

“I think I can handle that.”

“Oh, I’m sure you can.”

* * *

 

Alex groaned as Lucy went through the steps again.

Her body was sore, a combination of rehearsal over the past few days, her walk home the night before, and the ferocity Maggie had fucked her with. Her legs wanted to give in beneath her, and Lucy wanted her to piqué.

Fucking piqué.

She watched as Lucy moved into the next combination and shook her head.

“What?” Lucy demanded as she spun towards her.

“What what?”

“You’ve been critical all day. So, tell me. What is it?”

Alex stared down at Lucy, frozen beneath green eyes for a moment, then shrugged.

“It’s boring.”

“Boring?”

“Yeah. The routine. It’s boring, normal, expected.”

Lucy stared at her, eyes wide, mouth slightly open.

“You know what I mean,” Alex continued. “I know you do. It’s technically good, but it’s…”

“Boring?”

“Yeah.”

Lucy scoffed, hands on her hips. “Fine, but that’s how it is.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Fine.”

“Fine.” Lucy sighed. “Now, again.”

Alex went through the motions until Lucy turned away from the mirror. Alex stepped forward, eliminating the space between them.

Lucy turned, and Lucy nearly ran into her, and Lucy was barely an inch shorter with her heels on. Their foreheads pressed together, their noses bumped. The warmth of Lucy’s gasp brushed against Alex’s lips.

“Boring,” Alex whispered, “isn’t necessary.”

She watched Lucy’s eyelids flutter, watched her lips tremble.

The door opened. Lucy jumped away from her as Alex took a step back.

That had been stupid. She didn’t know if Lucy was into girls in general, let alone into her specifically. And if whoever was walking in saw them, and took it the wrong way…

Lucy rushed across the room. Alex turned to watch her, then looked to the newcomer to avoid staring at Lucy’s ass. One of Lucy’s friends - M'gann, Alex thought - was looking between her and Lucy, a complete shit-eating grin on her face.

Alex watched as Lucy ushered her out of the studio, then turned around, an uncertain look on her face.

“Right,” she said, taking slow steps forward. “We were…”

“Boring.” Alex grinned.

Lucy rolled her eyes, and mumbled under her breath as she walked back over.

* * *

 

Lucy poked at her salad with her fork. She could feel M'gann’s eyes on her, and knew she wouldn’t be able to put it off much longer. She glanced around, making sure there wasn’t anyone who could potentially overhear.

There was at least a full table between them and anyone else in the almost empty cafe. The traffic driving past muffled quieter sounds.

“Go ahead and ask,” she sighed.

“You and the janitor girl?”

Lucy rolled her eyes as she looked at M'gann.

“Janitor girl?”

“Nobody knows her name.”

“Alex. Her name is Alex. And there’s nothing going on. I found out she can dance, so she’s helping me rehearse until  Mon-El gets better.”

“Sure, that’s the story.”

Lucy groaned. M'gann sighed.

“Okay, but she is hot.”

Lucy glanced around again.

“Hey,” M'gann softly said. “We’re good here.”

Lucy lowered her eyes for a moment, then looked back up with a shrug. “Yeah, she’s hot.”

M'gann grinned.

“But,” Lucy continued. “She’s got this attitude, like she’s too cool for anything.”

“Sure,” M'gann said. “You like her.”

“What? Of course I don’t.”

“Come on, Lucy. It’s not a bad thing.”

“I know, but I don’t. Really.”

“I don’t believe that. You’re getting defensive, which means you’re lying, but, as your friend, I’m going to move on. For now.”

Lucy rolled her eyes. She didn’t like Alex. She really didn’t.

“Anyway,” M'gann continued. “Erin finally got a date for when she’s returning. She’ll be playing at the club that night, and it would be pretty awesome if you could go.”

“When is it?”

“Three weeks.”

Their waitress walked up, laying the check on the table between them. Lucy tensed slightly until she walked away again.

“You okay?” M'gann asked, grabbing the check. “You’re jumpier than usual.”

“I’m fine. I just—” She pushed some of her hair back. “My dad keeps getting at me about applying to other schools.”

M'gann gave her a small smile.

Lucy sighed. She stood, throwing a handful of bills on the table for a tip as M'gann counted out enough for the check. She stalked off, not slowing down until M'gann caught up.

“I’m sorry,” M'gann said.

“I know. I just…” she shrugged. “I have no way to tell him why I’m doing it, and even if I could, I’m not sure I would. He’s always on my case about dance, do I really want to give him anything else?”

“Have I told you that I don’t like your dad?”

Lucy glared at her for a moment before her phone went off. She pulled it out of her pocket and flipped it open to a media message.

“It’s Vasquez. They made another edit to the track.”

M'gann groaned. “They need to stop that.”

“You do remember that this track is part of their senior record, right?”

“Yeah, but…”

Lucy spun to face her. “You like Vasquez.”

“What?” M'gann laughed awkwardly. “No, I don’t.”

“You’re getting defensive.”

“No, I’m not. I have a girlfriend, remember?”

Lucy laughed, nudging M'gann with her shoulder as they started to walk.

* * *

 

The night was just reaching that point where streetlights were more necessary than not and the small lot attached to the back of the house was covered in shadow.

Alex stared up at the sky as she leaned back against the support for the wooden platform outside her window. The sun had vanished behind the city buildings. The moon was cradled in the curve of a cloud. A single star shone through the clinging light from the sun.

Alex sucked in a breath and closed her eyes. She listened to the cars driving past, snippets of music fading in and out, conversations of people out on the sidewalk, the chatter of children down the street, sirens blaring every few minutes. She took it all in, then began to phase it all out.

Bit by bit until her head was silent.

She started to tap her foot, pulling forward the basic tempo of the song Lucy kept playing during rehearsal. She ran through the routine in her head, her muscles twitching.

Boring.

Forgettable.

Every move was expected.

She stopped the routine, then played back.

There.

If she just…

She opened her eyes. She pushed off of the support, stepping forward a few feet. She looked up at the moon once more, counting her breaths before looking forward and starting.

Lucy’s voice echoed in her head, counting the steps until Alex went down instead of up.

She could hear Lucy’s griping at the change, but could also see the way it would look with both of them, her going down, Lucy going up.

If she could just convince Lucy that conventional, expected,  _ boring _ , was not always the way to go.

She spun, then froze at the sight of Kara leaning in the doorway. They watched each other for a moment, before Kara skipped out to her.

“Show me how to do that,” she said.

“I don’t know, that’s pretty complex.”

Kara stared up at her, eyes wide, lip pouted.

Alex rolled her eyes as she laughed. “Alright, Supergirl, but something simpler first.”

She showed Kara some basic steps until well after the remaining sunlight had vanished and they both settled back against the house. Alex wrapped an arm around Kara’s shoulders.

“You danced before, right?” Kara asked.

Alex tensed for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah.”

“Our parents were dancers.” It was a statement, almost absent minded, but Alex knew it wasn’t. “I heard Mrs. Rhea talk about it one day.”

Alex blinked as she stared at the single star.

It wasn’t even a star. It was a satellite. But it was easier to pretend she could still see something through the light of the city.

“Well,” she slowly started, “our dads were dancers.” She squeezed Kara lightly. “My mom was a costume designer, and your mom was actually an agent.”

“Huh.” Kara shifted slightly. “Whats an agent?”

“She, uh, was in charge of make sure dancers got jobs and stuff like that.”

“Oh.”

Alex leaned her head on the top of Kara’s as she, not for the first time, thought of how different Kara’s life could be. If their parents hadn’t died. If the Kents had taken her as well. If she hadn’t been stuck with Alex all these years and had gotten adopted.

“Were we happy?” Kara asked, her voice low.

“So happy.”

“Do you miss them?”

Alex swallowed. “Everyday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major thanks to everyone leaving comments :)


	5. So Much Harder at Times (cried a river)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, life happens, and heads butt.

Alex tucked her worksheets into her textbook as she moved through the halls. She dodged around other students, only stopping when she reached the security desk. The officer glanced up at her as she pulled her early dismissal pass from her pocket, then he jerked his head towards the door.

She glanced at the clock over his desk before leaving the building.

Right on time.

There were two buses she could catch that would get her to NCSA on time, one that left the stop in front of the school in three minutes, the other in five.

The first was waiting as she reached the bus stop. It would sit for another minute before leaving.

“Danvers.”

Alex turned, eyebrow raising at the sight of Maggie walking towards her, her face serious.

“Maggie?”

Maggie grabbed Alex’s wrist when she reached her, and pulled her a few feet from the stop.

“I need your help.”

“With what?” Alex asked. “What’s wrong.”

Maggie shook her head. “It’s just a run, but I can’t do it alone.”

“Now? Maggie, I have my hours.”

“I know, but I can’t let this one get away.”

Alex looked over her shoulder as the first bus pulled away. Her stomach clenched.

“It’s an ‘05, barely a year old. Lex’ll piss himself if I pull up in it.”

“Maggie…”

“I’m down to fifteen dollars,” Maggie pushed forward. “And we run out of money for the motel tomorrow.”

Alex took a breath. “How long will it take?”

Maggie shook her head. “No idea. At least an hour, probably more.”

Alex glanced back to the bus stop.

“Please, Alex. If I don’t get back in Lex’s good books soon, Jamie and I are fucked.”

Alex nodded. “Okay.”

Maggie let out a breath. She bowed her head as she pushed some hair behind her ear, then looked up with a small smile.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

The second bus pulled up as they walked away.

* * *

 

Lucy spun out of her move. She glanced at the door, then her watch. She groaned.

She closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing to try and keep her anger down.

The entire rehearsal. Alex hadn’t just been late, she had missed the entire rehearsal.

Lucy clenched her fist, then pushed her knuckles into her thigh.

How had she been so stupid? How had she thought she could trust Alex? Trust someone like Alex? A criminal?

Her entire future depended on her performance at the showcase, and she had trusted it to a girl she had just met?

So fucking stupid.

“Lucy?”

She turned, looking to where James stood in the doorway.

“You okay?” he asked.

Lucy took a deep breath, then nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

James’ face scrunched up with concern as he looked around the room. “Where’s Alex?”

Lucy threw up her arms. “I wish I knew.”

“She didn’t show?”

Lucy scoffed. “No, she didn’t show.”

“Luce, I’m sorry.”

Lucy shook her head as she crossed the room and began to gather her stuff.

“No, it’s…” she sighed. “I shouldn’t have thought this would work.”

James walked up to her, resting a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, you had to try.”

Lucy took a deep breath before nodding.

“And maybe there’s a legitimate reason,” James continued. “One missed rehearsal won’t destroy your routine, okay?”

Lucy nodded again.

“Just ask her, the next time you see her.”

Lucy sighed. “Yeah, okay.”

“You still up to get lunch?”

“Yes, please.”

James grinned at her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Lucy draped her jacket over her arm, then hugged her books to her chest.

“Noonan’s?” James asked as they walked out of the studio.

“Sure. How’s your portfolio going?”

James shrugged. “It’s missing something. I can feel it, I just can’t figure it out.”

“You’ll get it,” she told him. “I know you will.”

“Yeah.”

A figure skid around the corner ahead of them, slipping in their shoes and pushing against the wall before running into it.

Lucy’s anger rose back up when she realized it was Alex, hair messed up, the sweatpants Lucy had given her slung over her shoulder.

Alex, who was staring at her with wide eyes, and her hands held in front of her in what was meant to be a calming gesture.

“I know I’m late-”

“You’re not late,” Lucy cut her off. “You missed the entire rehearsal!”

“I’m sorry-”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it.”

“I had something I had to do.”

“You _had_ to be here. You agreed to do this.”

“Yeah, cause you had so many choices, right? Any of those sophomores figure out how to not drop you on your ass?”

“Hey!”

Lucy stepped back as James pushed between her and Alex. She glanced up at him, then stepped around him, towards Alex again.

“Where were you? Huh? What was so important?”

“It was…” Alex’s entire demeanor changed, her shoulders lowering as the anger vanished. “A thing.”

Lucy scoffed. “You can’t even tell me why you ditched me?”

“It was important, I swear, but I…”

“Save it. I don’t want excuses.” Lucy shook her head. “I gotta go.”

She shoved past both of them, ignoring James as he called after her.

James rubbed the back of his neck and glanced at Alex.

“It may not mean much to you,” he said. “But the showcase is a major deal. Lucy’s future depends on it going well. If you can’t take that seriously, maybe it isn’t your place to help her.”

Alex glared at him until he followed Lucy, then dropped her gaze.

Fuck them.

Fuck them for thinking that their problems were bigger than everyone else's.

Fuck them for thinking that their future was more important than someone else’s present.

She shoved her hands into her pocket and started to walk down the hall towards McCafree’s office.

* * *

 

Alex collapsed onto her bed, face first into her pillow. She had just gotten off of the phone, trying again to schedule a meeting with Mrs. Rhea.

Her body was exhausted. A week of cleaning an entire fucking school, followed by nearly two weeks of high intensity dance rehearsal.

Intense was certainly a word for it. Even beyond the physical.

There was something about Lucy that got under her skin.

The way she patiently taught Alex each combo. The way she looked up at Alex when they got too close, only to shrink away. The way she tried to not laugh when Alex wasn’t getting a move. Even the sound of her laughter.

Fuck.

She needed to shut it down. She couldn’t fall for the dance school straight girl.

And then the way Lucy had acted like her not showing up once was the end of the world. If her help wasn’t appreciated, well, maybe it wasn’t needed.

Probably for the best. If she stayed away, she wouldn’t keep falling.

A shift of her mattress made her turn her head, resting it sideways on her arm.

Kara was sitting on the edge of her bed, a bowl in her hands.

“Edna bought Captain Crunch,” Kara said between bites.

“That’s nice,” Alex replied.

“It’s peanut butter,” Kara sang, holding the bowl next to Alex’s face for a moment before pulling it away.

“What do you want?”

Kara shrugged. “I told you they like us.”

Alex closed her eyes, not wanting to crush Kara’s hopes. Cereal was hardly a good indicator of a good home.

Alex swung an arm towards Kara.

“Gimme that.”

“No.”

“Kaaaara.”

“It’s mine.”

“But I’m hungry.”

Kara groaned. “Fine. One bite.”

Alex lifted herself onto one arm, using the other to take the offered bowl. She cradled it between the arm holding her up and the bed, and filled the spoon before taking a bite.

“That is…” Kara huffed. “That is the biggest bite I have ever seen!”

Alex nodded as she swallowed, then took another bite.

Kara let out a shout and lunged towards her, snatching the bowl away.

“You suck.”

“I know.”

Alex fell back down, watching as Kara took another bite.

“How’s school been going?”

Kara shrugged. “How’s your art school cleaning stuff?”

Alex shrugged.

“How long do you have to do it?”

“Too long,” Alex sighed, closing her eyes.

“Is the school nice?”

“I guess.” Alex opened an eye to look at Kara. “Why?”

Kara shrugged, taking a few more bites.

Alex narrowed her eye.

“You know, they offer scholarships, if you want to go for your drawing.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ll look into it, if you want.”

“That would be kinda cool.”

“You’d like it there.”

She would, if Alex thought about it. Kara would probably fit right in at NCSA.

Kara finished her cereal, drinking the remaining milk before putting the bowl on the ground. She climbed onto the bed, pushing herself against Alex, who wrapped an arm around her.

“One of my teachers keeps telling me that drawing is useless, that I should focus on math or something.”

“Well that’s stupid of them.”

Kara giggled.

“If it was useless, there wouldn’t be schools for it,” Alex continued. “If you want to go to art school, you should.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She pressed a kiss to the top of Kara’s head. “You’re parents would’ve wanted you to do it if you wanted.”

Kara pulled back enough to look up at Alex.

“They would?”

Alex nodded. “Yeah. They would.”

Kara grinned as she pushed against Alex again.

“Cool.”

* * *

 

Alex focused on sweeping every last bit of debris off the side entrance stairs. She tuned out the traffic behind her, the chatter of nearby students.

Going back to just cleaning after getting used to dancing for part of her hours was fucking boring.

She hated cleaning.

There were only two more hours, though. Two hours and she would be free.

She didn’t look up as the door at the top of the stairs opened, didn’t look up as heeled steps moved closer, didn’t look up until Lucy spoke.

“Where were you?”

Alex furrowed her brow in fake confusion, leaning on the broom. “Was I supposed to be somewhere?”

Lucy scoffed. “Rehearsal? Remember that?”

“Oh, right, I’m not going to be able to do that anymore.”

Lucy blinked. “What?”

“Yeah, it wasn’t working out.”

She started to sweep again, only to stop when Lucy stepped closer.

“You’re just quitting? Without even telling me?”

Alex shrugged. “Sorry.”

Her stomach clenched as Lucy’s jaw tightened. She could see the anger, could see the pain behind the anger.

“I should have known you would do this,” Lucy ground out. “I should never have trusted you.”

“Hindsight’s twenty-twenty.”

Alex pushed past her and walked up the stairs. She turned when she got to the top.

“Besides, do you really need me?”

Alex heard Lucy scoff again as she pushed the door open and slipped inside.

She ignored how bad it felt to just leave Lucy hanging like that. 

* * *

 

Alex laughed as Kara burst through the door as soon as it opened, pushing a surprised Maggie to the side and throwing herself at Jamie. Alex met Maggie’s amused look, then guided Winn forward.

“Winn, this is Maggie. Maggie, Winn. He’s a new foster.”

“Hi,” Maggie said.

Winn stared at her for a moment, then glanced up at Alex.

“You can go inside,” she told him.

He slipped past Maggie, and looked around before perching on the edge of the couch with the girls.

“He, uh, doesn’t really talk,” Alex told Maggie.

Maggie nodded. “So, date night for the folks?”

Alex shuddered. “I figured it best to not expose the kids to that specific horror.”

Maggie laughed and gestured for Alex to enter the motel room. Alex swung her bag off of her shoulder as Maggie closed and locked the door.

“I got some more books for Jamie, and, um—” She unzipped a pocket and partially pulled out a recorder.

Maggie shook her head with a grin. “You spoil her.”

“Yeah, well, she’s worth it.”

Alex sucked in a breath as Maggie’s eyes sparkled up at her, then shook her head when Maggie turned away. She had just dealt with her feelings for Lucy, she didn’t need her feelings for Maggie to start complicating things.

“I also have money for a pizza, if you want to call in an order,” Alex said as she trailed behind Maggie.

“Large cheese pizza good for everyone?” Maggie asked.

Jamie and Kara called out their agreement as they flipped through channels on the TV. Winn nodded.

Alex climbed up onto the bed and sat cross-legged as Maggie moved to the phone. By the time Maggie had placed the order and was joining her, Alex had her homework spread out across the blanket.

“I have mentioned that you’re a nerd, right?” Maggie laughed, snagging a worksheet and scanning through the questions.

“For doing my homework?” Alex asked.

Maggie hummed, brow furrowing as she actually read a question. She shook her head and handed the paper back, glancing towards Jamie.

“That’s one thing I regret,” she said, keeping her voice low as she glanced towards the kids. “No matter what I do for her, no matter how many books you bring for her, she’ll never be able to get an actual education.” She sighed. “I fucked that up for her.”

“Hey.” Alex laid her hand over Maggie’s and threaded their fingers together. “You’re doing more for her than any education could.”

“But how many opportunities is she going to miss out on?”

Alex shrugged. “Just make sure you give her the ones you’re able to. That’s all I’ve done for Kara.”

Maggie eyed her for a moment before taking a deep breath. “Whatever.” She grabbed the closest textbook. “You really want to spend your time here doing homework?”

“No, but there are children in the room, so we can’t do what I actually want to do.”

Maggie laughed. She pushed Alex lightly and flipped to a random page in the book before starting to read the text aloud in the most pompous voice she could.

Alex watched her, brow furrowed as her mind raced.

* * *

 

Lucy closed the door slowly, quietly. She leaned back against it for a moment, then started down the hallway.

A faint _Lucy_? Sounded from further in the house, and she groaned.

Of course.

Of course the world wouldn’t be that nice. Now, after how absolutely shitty her day had already been, she had to deal with her father.

“How was school?” her father asked as Lucy turned a corner and walked into sight.

“Fine.” Lucy kept walking, sighing as she heard her father stand.

“You’re late. Where have you been?”

“The library, filling out some applications.” She kept walking, starting up the stairs.

“Are you sure that was worth your time?”

Lucy’s grip tightened around the banister. “Yes, Dad, I’m sure.”

She clenched her jaw, not letting herself snap, not willing to let him know that without a rehearsal partner, the Army was seeming more and more likely. Ignoring his protest, she continued up the stairs, not stopping again until she was in her room, collapsed on her bed.

She stared at the ceiling for a few moments, before reaching over and grabbing the picture from her nightstand. She rolled onto her side and curled up slightly as she stared at the picture of her mother.

Her throat clenched.

Her mom had been the one who really supported her dancing, the one she had actually been able to talk to. She knew her mom would have supported her applying to other universities, but if she knew why?

Tears welled up in Lucy’s eyes.

How would her mother have reacted? Would she have been fine? Would Lucy have even felt comfortable enough to tell her?

Would she have been disappointed in her?

Would she have hated her?

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, tears turning into quiet sobs. “I’m so sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major thank you to everyone for their comments :)


	6. Right Before I Fall (you catch me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's, well, dancing involved.

Alex tried to look natural as she watched each person leaving NCSA. She was sure she failed, if the weird looks she kept getting were anything to go off of, but she tried.

She had thought a lot over the weekend, mulling over James’ words, listening to Maggie talking about Jamie, seeing Lucy’s panicked anger when she closed her eyes.

She hadn’t been fair to Lucy, and she needed to make it right.

It wasn’t long before she saw Lucy leave the school, saw Lucy notice her and spin on her heels to head down the opposite direction.

Alex cursed and started to weave through the crowd.

“Lucy!” she called. “Wait!”

Lucy showed no signs that she had even heard Alex, and kept going. She probably would have gotten away if she hadn’t tripped over a crack in the sidewalk. Alex reached her just in time to steady her and keep her from falling.

“Dancer’s grace,” Alex chuckled. “Nobody ever believes that it only exists on the dance floor.”

Lucy shrugged her off and glared at her.

Alex held her hands up for a moment as she took a step back. “Sorry, and, well…” She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I overreacted last week. I shouldn’t have decided to stop without telling you, or at all, really.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Lucy said.

“I know that now, and I’ll come back, I’ll rehearse with you.”

“No.”

Alex blinked. “No?”

“No. How do I know you won’t do it again? How can I trust you?”

Alex swallowed. “Yeah, I…I get that, but you can. I was too pissed to get how important this is to you, and I won't forget it again.”

Lucy’s jaw clenched. She looked to the side for a moment before turning back.

“Do you have any idea how important this showcase is? Who is going to be there?”

Alex shifted her weight slightly. She did.

“I fucked up, I know that.”

“Yeah, you did.” Lucy crossed her arms. “Why did you miss rehearsal?”

Alex’s stomach clenched. She thought for a moment, to figure out how to answer without telling Lucy she was stealing a car.

“A friend,” she slowly started. “She needed my help with something. I’m the only person she has, I couldn’t…” She cut off with a shake of her head.

Lucy’s face softened slightly, but her arms were still crossed and her eyes were still hard.

“Please,” Alex pushed. “I’ll do anything.”

One of Lucy’s eyebrows quirked up, a smirk tugged at her lips. “Anything?”

For a moment, Alex wanted to take it back, slightly afraid of the glint growing in Lucy’s eyes, but she nodded.

“Anything.”

* * *

 

“I don’t think this qualifies as ‘anything’.”

Lucy laughed from behind her. Alex couldn’t help but smile as she shoved her clothes into the locker

“No,” Lucy mused. “Anything would include you wearing a leotard.”

Alex groaned. “God, no. The tights are bad enough.” She plucked at the fabric, scrunching up her nose at the feel of it. It had been years since she last wore tights. They made her skin tingle.

Lucy laughed again. “Okay, you ready?”

“No,” Alex huffed. She turned, slowly in case Lucy wasn’t ready, to see Lucy leaning against the lockers and smirking at her.

“Perfect,” Lucy said. “Class starts in five minutes.”

She spun around and left the small locker room.

Alex bit her lip as she watched Lucy leave, eyes dropping slightly to the sway of her ass. She looked down at herself, in the black tights and white shirt usually worn by male dancers, then sighed. Might as well get it over with.

She followed Lucy, staying a few steps behind until they reached a studio.

A small contingent of five and six year old girls turned to smile at Lucy, then all started to stare at her.

Lucy glanced at her, biting back a grin.

“Girls, this is Alex, a friend of mine. She’s here today to learn a few steps, so let's be on our best behavior, okay?”

A choruses of  _ Yes, Miss. Lucy _ rang through the studio, and Alex hid her laugh behind a cough. Lucy glared at her for a moment, then went about getting the girls set up.

Alex hovered in the back through the stretches, alternating between sneaking looks at Lucy and reminiscing about her own first dance instructor.

Miss. Cat had also been her first crush.

She was brought back to the present by Lucy shoving her towards the barre, shepherding her towards a specific spot. Alex ignored the girls eying her as she flexed her fingers around the wood.

It was lower than she expected.

Well, logically, she was taller than she had been, but her body still expected it to be closer to her shoulders than her waist.

“Alex.”

She blinked, then turned to Lucy, who was watching her with a grin. Lucy gestured down towards the girl standing in front of Alex.

“This is Gabby. She can help you if you need corrections.”

Alex stared at the girl for a moment, then looked back at Lucy. “Oh. Okay.” She looked back at Gabby as Lucy turned away.

The girl’s smile fell into stone. She raised a tiny finger towards Alex.

“Don’t need correct-tions,” she said. “I gotta focus.”

Alex just stared for a moment, then nodded. “I will do my best.”

Gabby huffed and turned, hand reaching out for the barre.

Alex looked towards Lucy, who was watching with her hand over her mouth to hide her laughter. Alex shook her head, but couldn’t hide her own smile as it tugged at the corners of her mouth.

The class went by much faster than Alex had expected, and her body remembered much more than she had expected. The flexibility was long gone, but the muscle memory had stuck around.

She even earned a handshake from Gabby at the end.

A very solemn handshake that Lucy was still laughing about as they walked down the street towards her home.

“That was evil, you know,” Alex told her. “That girl probably would have slapped me.”

“Probably,” Lucy agreed, then started to laugh again as Alex stared at her in disbelief.

“I can’t believe you set me up like that.”

Lucy shrugged, sighing as her laughter died. She slowed to a stop and spun up onto a step.

“This is me,” she said, gesturing slightly to the townhouse behind her.

Alex looked up at the house. “It’s nice.”

It was - red brick, flower boxes on the upper windows, a clean swept stoop.

“It’s whatever,” Lucy said with a shrug.

Alex scoffed. “Why do you even have to work, living in a place like this?”

She regretted the words as Lucy tensed.

“I don’t mean anything by it,” she quickly said. “Just seems like you don’t have to.”

Lucy gripped the strap over her shoulder. “It just…” she shrugged with one shoulder. “It gives me something to do.”

“Aren’t you busy enough with school? The whole dancing thing?”

“It, uh, lets me stay away from home a little longer.”

Alex watched her for a moment, then stepped closer. Her toes hit the side of the step. She was face to face with Lucy as the step took away her height advantage.

“Lucy, your parents don’t…they aren’t…” she trailed off, unsure how to ask.

Lucy’s brow furrowed for a moment, before raising.

“Oh, no. God, no.” She shook her head, and shuffled back on the step. “It’s just, my dad can be a little overbearing sometimes.”

Alex nodded slightly, and moved back, rubbing the back of her neck as she avidly avoided looking at Lucy.

“What about your mom?”

Lucy grimaced, shifted from foot to foot. “She died.”

Alex’s stomach dropped. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s okay. It was a few years ago, it’s just-” Lucy shrugged “-she was the one who got me into dance, the one who supported it. Dad tries, but he was gone so much with work when I was little, so it was always her.”

“She sounds pretty cool.”

Lucy nodded, gave a small smile. “She was.” She twisted slightly to look up at the house. “Well, thanks, for walking me home.”

Alex bowed slightly, enough to make Lucy’s smile bigger. “Any time.”

Lucy turned, making her way up the stairs. She looked back enough to give Alex a small wave before going through the door.

Alex stared at the closed door for a moment, before turning, ducking her head to hide the grin on her face.

* * *

 

“Why are you so happy?”

Alex glanced at Maggie, eyes barely leaving the TV screen as she drove through an item box. “What?”

“You’re all glowy and shit. It’s gross.”

Alex rolled her eyes, then narrowed them as she aimed the shell at the kart between her and first place. She grinned as Baby Mario spun out of control and she zoomed into the lead.

“I’m not all glowy and shit,” she argued.

“Yeah, you are.”

Maggie eyed her for a moment. Alex tightened her grip on her controller for a moment as she ignored the gaze.

“I’ll figure it out eventually.”

“There’s nothing to figure out.”

“Sure.” Maggie shoved Alex’s leg with her foot. “I’m making a run tomorrow, it’ll be late, should be after your hours.”

Alex grimaced. Lucy had booked late hours at the studio. “They, uh, they’re making me stay late tomorrow, to make up for being so late the other day.”

Maggie lunged forward and grabbed the controller, sending Alex spiraling into a wall right before the finish line.

“What the fuck?”

Maggie tossed the controller to the floor, then slung a leg over Alex to straddle her lap.

“I may not know why you’re already glowy, but I can think of something to really give it a reason,” Maggie said, running her hands down Alex’s front and slipping her fingers under the hem of her shirt.

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

Maggie hummed.

“When’re you expecting Jamie to get back?” Alex asked.

“Not for a few more hours.”

“Good.”

* * *

 

Lucy wasn’t alone when Alex entered the studio. She was at the barre, laughing with M'gann.

Another person stood by the piano, messing around on a laptop, bobbing their head to whatever beat was playing through their headphones.

Alex watched Lucy for a moment, smiling when Lucy noticed her and gave a small wave. She chuckled as Lucy then slapped M'gann’s arm. Alex turned and slowly made her way to the piano, smiling when they looked up and shifted one ear of their headphones to sit behind their ear.

“You’re Vasquez?” Alex asked, leaning against the piano.

They nodded.

Alex could see the tension in their shoulders, not unsimilar to the way Jamie tensed around strangers.

“Lucy’s talked about you a bit,” Alex pushed. “You use they pronouns, right?”

Vasquez nodded again.

“Cool, just wanted to make sure, y’know?”

The tension bled from them. “Yeah.” They rubbed the back of their neck. “Thanks.”

Alex shrugged. “What’re you working on?”

Vasquez pushed one side of the laptop towards Alex, who moved closer to see it.

The music program on the screen made no sense to her.

“It’s the track for Lucy’s routine,” Vasquez explained.

“Right, she said you were composing that.”

“Yeah.”

Alex eyed them at the tone in the word.

“You sound thrilled,” she said.

Vasquez shook their head. “It’s just…” they sighed. “Lucy’s old school, prefers to dance to Vivaldi era stuff. It’s a bit…”

“Restricting?”

Vasquez chuckled as they nodded. “I’ve got one track I’m sure would be perfect for her. Here.”

They navigated quickly through their laptop, then shifted their headphones down to their neck and turned the volume up.

Alex listened to the track, tapping her finger on the piano as she picked up the beat. She tried to imagine the routine with it, where each movement would match with the music.

“This is good,” she said as it wound down. “It’d be perfect.”

Vasquez watched her for a moment, then slowly smiled. “You tell her about it.”

Alex blinked, standing up straight. “What?”

“She’ll listen to you about it.”

“And she won’t listen to you?”

Vasquez laughed. “I’m too close to it.”

Alex scoffed.

“Just try it?”

Alex rolled her eyes, then turned to look at the two girls, who were watching them, but quickly turned away. Alex looked to Vasquez, who looked as confused as she felt. Alex shook her head, then turned back.

“Lucy?”

Lucy looked at her again, eyebrow raised.

“C’mere.”

Lucy let out a small chuckle, glancing at M’gann.

“Why?”

“Just come listen to this.”

She rolled her eyes, but walked over. Vasquez nodded, then played the track again.

Lucy listened in silence, arms crossed, finger tapping against her arm.

“Okay?” she asked as it ended. “It’s good, but, why?”

Alex grinned. She held her hand out, waiting until Lucy took it to lead her to the center of the studio. She nodded at Vasquez, who started it again.

Alex waited a few beats, then started her movements. It took a few more beats before Lucy joined her.

It was not quite perfect, but there were only a few beats where the music and the dance didn’t line up.

Alex and Lucy stared at each other when the music ended, both thinking hard.

“Vasquez?” Alex called. “Can you start it again? From the first minute mark?”

“Sure.”

The music started again.

“At this point, the spin? What if we mixed it up a bit? Shift the levels around?” she said to Lucy.

She waited another few beats, then went through the movements. When she reached the spin, instead of staying upright, she crouched down. She stopped after finishing the movement. The music continued.

Lucy watched her, brow furrowed, then her head tilted back, her eyes stared up at the ceiling, she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. After a moment, she nodded.

“I like it.” She looked at Alex, then over at Vasquez. “I really like it.”

* * *

 

Alex didn’t open her eyes as her bedroom door creaked open. She kept her head pressed into her pillow, listening to the footsteps. She turned and threw the corner of her blanket back when she recognized the steps.

Kara climbed up next to her, tucking her head under Alex’s chin and shoving her toes under Alex’s legs.

“You need to start wearing socks,” Alex grumbled.

Kara giggled and flexed her toes.

“You draw anything recently?” Alex asked.

“Uh-huh.”

“Want to share?”

“Nope.”

Alex chuckled. She ran fingers through Kara’s hair, scratching her scalp lightly. Slowly, Kara began to relax fully against her.

“I’ve missed you,” Kara mumbled.

Alex furrowed her brow, stared at the light coming through the gap in her window from the streetlight outside.

“I haven’t gone anywhere,” Alex said.

“You’re not home as much.”

Alex’s heart clenched.

“You know why.”

Kara sighed. “I know, but I still miss you.”

Alex tightened her hold on Kara. She stared at the light as she felt Kara relax into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major thanks for the comments and kudos :)


	7. We’ll Lose Our Groove (don’t know which way to move)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decisions are made, questions are asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some sexual content and references to masturbation, just skip the second scene if you don't want that.

Lucy laughed as they left the school.

Alex glared at her while pushing down the warmth the laugh built in her.

“The look on your face,” Lucy said, the laugh dying down. “It was like you forgot gravity existed.”

Alex huffed. “You’re the one who ate it, why are you laughing at me?”

Lucy shook her head. “You just looked so funny.”

“Maybe I need to start dropping you more.”

Lucy spun to face her. “Don’t you dare.”

Alex held her serious expression for a moment, then burst out laughing. Lucy shoved at her shoulder.

The laughter died into an awkward silence.

“I guess I should…” Alex trailed off, gesturing over her shoulder towards the bus stop.

Lucy nodded, her smile growing slightly forced. “Yeah. Right. I should too.”

They gave each other jerky nods before turning.

Alex shoved her hands into her pockets, kicked lightly at the ground.

“Do you want a ride?”

She turned at Lucy’s question. Lucy was watching her, clutching her books to her chest.

Alex opened her mouth to respond, then closed it. She rubbed the back of her neck.

“Have you ever been to that part of the city?”

Lucy shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “Not really, but I know this one place near there that I think is pretty cool.”

Alex eyed her, then shrugged. “Okay.”

The drive through the city fluctuated between a comfortable silence and easy conversation. Lucy was a much more reckless driver than Maggie, less concerned about cops or the risk of an accident.

Alex watched out the window, keeping track of the roads Lucy took until pulled the car into a small lot in the shipping district.

Alex climbed out of the car. She looked around then raised an eyebrow at Lucy. Lucy just smiled at her, slipping her hand into Alex's and pulling her forward.

“Where are you taking me?” Alex asked. She looked around, past the metal structures of the docks. The bay was visible through a few cracks.

“You'll see.”

Alex stopped. “Is this where you kill me?”

Lucy laughed and kept pulling her forward.

“That's not comforting,” Alex said even as she let herself be pulled.

Eventually, Lucy led her up a set of metal stairs, to the top of small storage building at the edge of a dock.

The bay opened out before them, the ocean beyond was starting to bleed with the setting sun.

Alex stopped, jaw dropped at the sight.

Lucy kept moving, leaning against the rails of a ladder leading down the opposite side they had come up. Her hands flexed around the rails. Alex watched her shoulders shift as she breathed deep, then stepped forward.

“This is, wow,” she said, coming even with Lucy at the edge. “But, y’know, I have the same view from my room.”

Lucy side-eyed her, then rolled her eyes.

“My mom used to bring me up here,” she said.

Alex grimaced. She was an asshole.

“Especially when my dad was overseas,” Lucy continued. “She would tell me that he was just on the other side of the water, so he really wasn't that far.” She laughed. “It stopped working once I actually learned geography. Now I come up here when I need to think.”

Alex nodded. “It's definitely a good place to think.”

Lucy grinned, leaning back so she was holding herself up by the railing.

“I came up with my routine here,” she said, glancing at Alex before looking back to the water. “This is where it all started.”

Alex looked around the roof. She could see it, see how the steps could work with the size and shape, see how some would step up onto the metal boxes on the edges.

“That’s amazing,” she said. “Looking at this and coming up with that dance? You’re amazing.”

Lucy glanced at her, smile tugging at her mouth.

“Except,” Lucy said, “I imagined it with an entire group of dancers.” Her face took a dreamy expression. “They all start in unison, then break out into a canon.”

“At what part?”

Lucy glanced at her, then smiled. She pushed off of the rail and started to pull her jacket off.

“You know that phrase with the turn and lift?”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Oh, yes, the one single turn and lift in the entire routine.”

Lucy leveled an unimpressed look at her. Alex smirked as she took her jacket off.

“The middle section? Yeah, I know it.”

Lucy circled around her as they stepped into position. “Alright, you break out first, on one.”

Alex listened to the count, then stepped off, keeping an eye on Lucy as she trailed a step behind.

Muscle memory took over, through the dips and lifts. She adjusted for the service box at the far corner, watched as Lucy did the same for the raised edge of the roof.

Then she was lifting Lucy over her head.

Then she was lowering Lucy, spinning her to keep her close and control her descent.

Then her face was inches from Lucy’s, their bodies pressed together.

Lucy's skin glowed in the golden light of the setting sun. Her eyes were wide and glinting. Her mouth was just barely open.

Alex could do nothing but stare at her until Lucy blinked, swallowed, and stepped back. Alex pulled in a shuddering breath. She dropped her head, staring down at the roof as she ran a hand through her hair.

After a moment, she looked up, turned to look at Lucy, who had moved back to the railing.

“If you saw it with a bunch of dancers, why not do it that way?” she asked.

Lucy turned. “With what dancers?”

Alex gave her a confused look. “You go to art school, I'm sure you can find dancers.”

Lucy scoffed. “All the seniors and juniors are busy with their projects.”

“And the younger kids? Sophomores? Freshmen?”

“They aren't good enough. You saw the audition.”

Alex shrugged. “I saw a few hot shots who couldn't lift. I'm sure there are plenty who could back up but would never have shown up to that audition.”

Lucy narrowed her eyes, then turned back to the water. Alex moved to the edge, stepping up onto the ledge and balancing.

“You're just mad I'm right.”

“Shut up.”

* * *

 

Alex’s body jerked as she woke. She sucked in a breath, then pushed herself upright.

She closed her eyes and images of the dream flashed.

Maggie, naked and half-dressed and her pants unzipped and shirt pushed up.

Maggie, against a wall and in the back of a car and on her bed.

Lucy, naked and tights around her knees and skirt around her waist.

Lucy, on the floor of the studio and against a mirrored wall and on her bed.

Maggie and Lucy.

Lucy and Maggie.

Stripping each other, making out.

Both naked, crawling up a bed towards her.

And, oh fuck.

Alex bit back a moan as a wave of pleasure rolled through her.

The dream was far from the first sex dream Alex had ever had. It wasn’t even the first with either Maggie or Lucy.

It was the first with both of them.

She was surprised it had taken as long as it did to happen.

She glanced at the clock on her nightstand, reaching over to turn on the backlight, then groaned. She still had four hours before she had to wake up.

She lay back down and stared at the ceiling. She fought with the guilt rising in her as she slid her hand past her underwear.

* * *

 

Lucy jumped as an arm hooked around hers. She glared at M’gann for a moment, then rolled her eyes at her friends unrepentant grin.

“How’d the math test go?” M’gann asked.

Lucy groaned, leaning her head on M’gann’s shoulder as they walked. M’gann laughed.

“Well, don’t forget, Erin is going to be at the club next Friday.”

“I finally get to meet this mystery girlfriend?”

“Are you still doubting her existence?”

“Until I shake her hand.”

M’gann laughed.

“Hey.”

Lucy jumped at the voice, then glared at Vasquez as they appeared next to her, matching their pace.

“What is with you two and sneaking up on me?” she groaned as they both laughed.

“You don't usually jump both times,” Vasquez said.

“All of my friends are assholes.”

“You love us,” M’gann said.

“Anyway,” Vasquez said, “have you seen James? I need to congratulate him.”

Lucy stopped walking, making M’gann stop as well. Vasquez circled around to stand in front of them.

“For what?”

Vasquez furrowed their brows. “For the job offer? Did he not tell you?”

“No, he didn't.”

Lucy ignored the look M’gann and Vasquez exchanged. She stepped back, freeing her arm from M’gann.

“I have to go.”

She made her way through the halls towards the dark rooms in the basement of the school.

She didn't know why the news made her stomach flip, why her heart had sunk so hard.

She had no way of knowing how long James had known, or how busy he had been since finding out, but word had apparently spread enough for Vasquez to hear second hand.

But that didn't mean James didn't have a good reason.

Yet…

She leaned against the open door to James studio. She waited a few moments, watching him move before knocking on the frame.

He turned. His large grin faltered as he took in her expression.

“Hey,” he said, his voice lilting up at the end of the word in question.

“I heard about the job,” she said. She sounded smaller than she liked.

James blinked, then closed her eyes and ducked his head. “I forgot to text you. I meant to, I just...” He looked back at his work.

Lucy nodded. “Got distracted, and-” she shrugged “-it’s fine, really, but it keeps happening, on both sides.”

“Lucy?”

She stepped into the room, one arm wrapping around her waist. She tucked some hair behind her ear before wrapping that arm around her waist as well.

“We’ve been kidding ourselves, this entire year.” She shook her head, staring at the floor. She bit lightly at the inside of her lip. “We barely made it through our junior projects. We’re not making it now.”

She looked up at him. He was staring back.

His eyes were wide and sad, but he didn’t try to argue.

“I’m happy for you, James, I really am, but I think we’re done.”

She forced herself to keep looking at him as he looked down. She could see all of his tells - the twitch in the back of his jaw, the slight tremble in his bottom lip, the hand he shoved into his pocket. She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye before stepped towards him.

His eyes flicked up to watch her without raising his head.

She wrapped a hand around his neck, tugging him down enough so she could raise onto her toes and kiss his cheek.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

James nodded. “Me too.”

She stepped back.

They stood awkwardly for a few moments before Lucy glanced at a clock on the wall. She sighed.

“I, uh, I have to get to rehearsal,” she said.

James nodded. “Right.”

She hesitated for a moment. “I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah.”

Another moment of hesitation, then she turned and left the room. She made it into the closest restroom before slumping against a wall and letting herself cry.

* * *

 

Alex looked at her watch again, then around the studio.

Lucy had never been late before, had always been there by the time Alex had arrived. Alex had worked hard the past few days to be able to get everything set up before Lucy arrived.

And Lucy was late.

Only ten minutes, but still late.

Alex’s worry jumped up another level. She ran a hand through her hair and turned to M’gann and Vasquez.

“Should one of you go look for her?” she asked.

M’gann and Vasquez looked at each other, then turned to the door in unison, relieved expressions on their faces. Alex turned to see Lucy in the doorway, confused as she looked at the large group of people.

“Whats going on?” she asked.

Alex glanced at M’gann and Vasquez again, looking to them for the lead. Vasquez gestured for her to go ahead. Alex stepped forward.

“You said that you imagined a group of dancers.” She gestured around the studio. “Here’s a group of dancers.”

Lucy stared at her, eyes wide, jaw dropped slightly.

Alex bit her lip, ignored the knot in her stomach. She had overstepped. She had so overstepped.

Then Lucy grinned, laughed lightly.

“Okay,” she said. She moved across the room, putting her bag on top of the piano.

Alex trailed after her, M’gann and Vasquez close behind her.

Once they all reached the piano, M’gann stepped close to Lucy.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

Alex held further back, noting the slightly red rim to Lucy's eyes, the tightness in her shoulders.

“I'm fine,” Lucy brushed M’gann off. “We'll talk later, okay?”

M’gann nodded before backing away slightly.

Lucy turned to Alex. “You put this all together?”

Alex nodded.

Lucy smiled lightly. “Thank you.” She took a deep breath, then turned to the group waiting, clapping her hands to get their attention. Her head was high as she stepped forward, slipping into her dance instructor mode.

* * *

 

Lucy sighed. She sunk further into M’gann’s side and took another bite of ice cream.

“Did I do the right thing?” she asked around the bite.

M’gann hummed. “Do you think it was the right thing?”

Lucy groaned. “Don’t answer my question with a question.”

Her mattress shifted as Vasquez leaned forward from their spot at the foot of the bed to grab the tub M’gann was holding. Lucy pulled her tub closer to herself, keeping it safe from Vasquez’s reach.

“I’m not stupid enough to take yours,” Vasquez said, rolling their eyes.

Lucy just narrowed her eyes at them and took another bite.

“I love him,” Lucy said after swallowing. “I should go talk to him about getting back together.”

“You love me too, right?” Vasquez said.

Lucy furrowed her brow, then kicked out at their leg. “Yeah, but I don’t want to date you.”

“Exactly.”

“Vas?” M’gann spoke up.

“What?”

“Shut up.”

Vasquez rolled their eyes again. “You and James have been drifting apart since even before senior projects. What’s going to happen once you’re out of school?”

Lucy groaned and turned her face into M’gann’s shoulder.

“Besides, now you and Alex can get together,” Vasquez continued.

Lucy shot up. “I did not break up with James to get with Alex.”

Vasquez shrugged. “But it’s an option now.”

Lucy glanced at the picture of her mom across the room, then sunk back into M’gann.

“You’re an asshole,” she mumbled before taking another bite of ice cream.

Vasquez handed the tub in their hand back to M’gann. “Oh, I know,” they said.

They moved up the bed and settled on Lucy’s other side.

“But I’m still one of your best friends.”

“Remind me why again?”

“My roguishly handsome good looks?”

Lucy and M’gann both laughed.

“Yeah,” Lucy said. “That’s definitely it.”

* * *

 

“You have to be quiet, remember?” Alex asked.

Kara nodded, eyes wide. She bounced lightly on the edge of Alex’s bed, hands under her legs.

“Good.”

A light knock came from her balcony door.

Kara’s face lit up. Alex laughed under her breath as she crossed the room and opened the door.

Maggie quickly herded Jamie inside, looking over her shoulder more than once.

Kara waited a beat, then rushed to Jamie, grabbing her arm.

“Alex helped me build a pillow fort for us,” Kara said.

Jamie glanced at Maggie, but let herself be pulled forward, towards the pillow and blankets set up at the foot of Alex’s bed.

After they vanished beneath the blanket, Alex found herself being pulled outside. She left the door just barely open.

Maggie was pacing back and forth across the balcony, hands wringing. Alex crossed her arms against the cold and leaned back on the house.

After a few minutes, Maggie stopped. She leaned next to Alex, their shoulders brushing.

“I’m sorry,” she said, voice tight.

Alex pushed her shoulder against Maggie’s lightly.

“There have been more cops around that motel lately,” Maggie continued. “I saw a few of them eyeing her. I don’t know if they have an idea about who we are, or if they’re just…”

“Pigs?”

Maggie nodded. “I had to get her away from them.”

Alex’s arm twitched, then she gave into the urge and put an arm around Maggie’s shoulders. Maggie tensed for a moment before leaning into Alex’s side.

“Do you have the money for a room at another motel?” Alex asked.

“For a day or two.”

Alex watched a few cars drive past. “I can probably sneak you in the rest of the week, and help you with a run on Saturday.”

“Thanks.”

Alex squeezed her shoulders lightly, pulling her closer.

“Can we go in?” Maggie asked. She shivered as a gust of wind blew into the balcony.

Alex nodded, then pulled her inside. She pushed Maggie towards the bed before going to make sure the bedroom door was locked.

She gripped the doorknob for a moment, breathing deep to steady herself, then back around.

Jamie and Kara were giggling lightly in the fort, the night light casting a faint light through the thinner blankets. Maggie was perched on the edge of her bed, looking uncertain and failing to hide the fear. 

Alex grabbed a pair of sweatpants and handed them to Maggie.

“Does Jamie need a pair?” she asked.

Maggie shook her head. Alex fidgeted as Maggie pushed her jeans off, kicking them a few feet away. They'd seen each other naked plenty of times before, but never like this, never when it wasn't going to lead to sex.

Alex climbed onto the bed, doing her best to not watch Maggie bend down to pull the pants up. She settled with her back pressed against the wall. Maggie laid down, trying to balance on the edge.

“You can move closer,” Alex whispered. “They keep the house cold, and my blankets are all in the fort. We’ve got one sheet.”

Maggie stared at her, eyes wide, then scooted closer, pressing against Alex, tucking her head under Alex’s chin.

Alex pulled the sheet over them both. She wrapped her arms around Maggie, pulling her close as she felt her relax.

* * *

 

Alex schooled her expression as she held Lucy in the final position, then grinned as Lucy stepped back. Lucy held her gaze for another moment before nodding to Vasquez, letting them know to turn off the music, then turning to Director J’onzz.

Alex turned as well, keeping her head high under his scrutiny.

His eyes were narrow as he looked from Lucy to Alex to the group of dancers behind them.

They had worked hard the past week to get ready to show him. Lucy buzzed with uncertainty.

J’onzz focused on Lucy.

“I feel like I should congratulate you,” he said. “You seem to have greatly expanded your range.”

Lucy’s uncertainty stayed, but pride started to flow through it.

“I thought that your original piece was good, but this is another level.” He glanced around again. “It is a risk, but one that may pay off. What made you want to change the piece?”

Lucy nodded. “A lot of its Alex,” she said, turning slightly.

J’onzz turned to Alex, scrutinizing her. For a moment, Alex swore that his eyebrow quirked up, that a smirk tugged at his lips. Alex shook her head.

“No, no, it’s all Lucy,” she protested.

Lucy rolled her eyes. “She brought a fresh perspective, showed me a few new moves. She has a good mind for it.”

J’onzz eyes narrowed, then he nodded.

“Very well. Keep up the good work.”

He turned and left.

Alex watched him go, blocking out the excited chattering around her. She turned to Lucy, who was just turning to her and grinning widely.

“I gotta go,” Alex said before Lucy could say anything.

She raced out of the studio.

“Director J’onzz!” she called.

She skid to a stop as he turned back to her.

“Ms. Danvers, I believed I have talked to you about running in the walls.”

She nodded. “Yeah, yeah. I, just, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.”

He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

“I wanted to get information on applying to the school.”

He watched her in silence for a moment.

“You want to apply.” His eyes narrowed slightly. “Unfortunately, Ms. Danvers, the school year has already begun.”

He turned to begin to walk away.

“It isn’t for me,” she said.

He stopped and turned back around. His face was neutral as he watched her.

“My cousin,” Alex continued. “She’s an artist. She draws mostly, and she’s not bad. She’s only nine, but she’s talked about wanting to come here for high school, and I want to do everything I can for her.”

Something flicked across his face too fast for her to figure out.

“I can’t hold a spot for any student. She would have to apply when the time comes.”

“I know, but you could tell me what she could do before then to, to increase her chance, and I, I could…” Her mind raced. “I could keep working here after my hours are up, and what you would pay, maybe it could go into another scholarship? That way you wouldn’t have to use one that could go to another student. And, I could…”

J’onzz held up a hand, making her trail to a stop.

“I admire your loyalty to your cousin,” he told her. “I don’t believe you would need to work for her to be a student here, but I can gather information for her.”

Alex let out a breath. “Thank you.”

She turned to go.

“Ms. Danvers.”

She turned back around.

“Your cousin is lucky to have you.”

J’onzz turned and walked off.

Alex stared after him, his words echoing in her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major thanks for all of the comments and kudos :)


	8. Hold My Hand (let me know you feel me too)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a club that's kinda a club, but not really a club.  
> Alex and Lucy do not dance at the club.

Alex rested her head on the edge of the headrest. She watched the buildings blur past for a few more moments, then turned her head to the other side.

Maggie glowed in the light of the setting sun. Her head bobbed lightly as she sang along with the radio. Her fingers on the steering wheel tapped to the beat.

Warmth ballooned in Alex’s chest. She could almost imagine them in another world, where they could actually own a car as nice as this one, where they both had parents to raise them, raise their sisters.

Maggie glanced at her, smiling, and Alex could imagine road trips and driving home from the beach and running errands.

She could see Maggie bathed in the light of the sun setting into the ocean, lit up by the neon glow of Vegas, radiant under the full moon.

It was a dream; falling into bed at night, sheets of Egyptian cotton, balcony doors open, Maggie curling up on one side of her, Lucy on the other.

She blinked, the daydreams slipping away.

She closed her eyes and sat up properly in the seat, right hand clenched against her thigh, hidden from Maggie’s view.

Her awareness of Maggie jumped into overdrive.

She could smell the floral scent of her shampoo, hear the humming under her breath, practically feel her presence just a foot away.

It was too much.

“Shit,” she said, keeping her voice low, but loud enough to be heard.

“What’s wrong?” Maggie asked.

Alex took a breath, an escape formulating. “I forgot, there’s something I have to do, back at NCSA.”

Something Alex couldn’t name flashed across Maggie’s face. “Do you need me to drive you back that way?”

Alex shook her head. “It’s fine, you need to get this to Lex. You can just pull over, let me out.”

“It’s about to get dark.”

“Exactly.” Alex glanced in the rearview mirror, to Jamie asleep in the back seat. “Get the car to Lex, get to the house, and get her to bed. My balcony is unlocked. I'll be there as soon as I’m done.”

Maggie eyes her for a moment. She said nothing, but pulled over the next place she could.

“Don't take too long,” Maggie said as Alex climbed out of the car.

Alex forced a grin. “I won't.”

* * *

 

Maggie listened as the giggles from the next room subsided. She was sure both Kara and Jamie were already passed out, bundled up on Kara's bed.

Jamie hadn't woken fully from her nap in the car, even after the mile walk to Alex's foster home. Once Maggie had gotten the drowsy teen up the balcony, she had found Kara passed out in Alex's bed.

It had taken her almost thirty minutes - and a subtle comment to Jamie about wanting to fuck Alex later - to convince the girls to go to Kara’s room.

Maggie hovered by the wall to Kara’s room for a few more moments, making sure the girls were at least going to stay quiet if they weren’t asleep, then she turned back to the room. She let out a sigh and leaned back against the wall.

The room was mostly bare, nothing on the walls, grey sheets on the bed, a small desk covered in textbooks and papers.

The only real sign that the room was Alex's was the strip of photo booth pictures of Alex and Kara taped over the desk.

Maggie sat on the edge of the bed, awkwardness settling over her.

She had never been in Alex's room without Alex.

Alex had never left her like that.

It was stupid. She knew it was stupid.

Alex had her hours. She had to be responsible and all that.

And she was still there when Maggie needed her, had given her a place to stay, had helped her get the car.

But watching her walk away had hurt more than she cared to admit.

Maggie pushed her jeans off, making a mental note to ask Alex about laundry, then curled up on the bed.

She wrapped her arms around Alex's pillow, hugging it to her chest and pressing her face into the end.

* * *

 

Alex kicked at a shard of concrete that had broken from the sidewalk. She watched it skip over the curb and into the gutter.

It had been bad enough to have a sex dream with both Lucy and Maggie.

Actually, she totally understood that.

Both were hot as fuck. She had slept with Maggie more times than she could count. The way Lucy's body pressed against her during some of the steps burned her skin.

She pulled her hood up and shoved her hands in her pocket, hunching over.

And threesomes weren't foreign to her. Hell, Maggie had been a part of each threesome Alex has had..

But to start to think of them in such levels of domesticity?

She couldn't.

Lucy was straight.

Maggie was…

She turned a corner when she reached a red light, not wanting to stop and wait.

It couldn't happen.

She had to focus on getting her hours done and staying out of trouble.

She had to focus on doing what she could for Kara.

“Alex?”

She stopped, looking up.

“Vasquez?”

They were walking the other direction, their hair slicked back, the collar of their leather jacket popped. They raised an eyebrow.

“You live in this part of town?” Vasquez asked.

“Uh, no. I had...a thing.”

“A thing?”

Alex shrugged.

Vasquez narrowed their eyes for a moment, then smirked.

“There's this club thing a bunch of NCSA kids go to, if you wanna come.”

Alex glanced up at the clear sky, then shrugged.

“I'm not doing anything else.”

They walked to the nearest bus stop in near silence, neither sure exactly how to interact outside of NCSA. Once aboard, they both glared down the few looks they got from other passengers as they took some seats in the back.

“So,” Alex started, glancing at Vasquez out of the corner of her eyes. “What's up with you and M’gann?”

She smirked at both Vasquez’s surprised look and the offended look the old lady across the aisle sent them. Vasquez recovered much faster than the lady and sent their own smirk back.

“What's up with you and Lucy?”

Alex just barely kept from sputtering. The old lady huffed. Vasquez laughed.

“You're an asshole,” Alex said. “We need to hang more.”

Vasquez laughed harder. “We really do.”

The rest of the ride was spent in easy conversation until they got off at a stop in a nicer neighborhood on the bay.

“This really where you all hang out?” Alex asked, looking around at the houses around them.

Vasquez shrugged. “There's a, well, it isn't really a club, but it's kind of a club?”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “That made complete sense.”

“You’ll see,” they said.

“That’s not helpful.”

Vasquez laughed.

It was a few more minutes of walking along a raised concrete boardwalk before they reached a building. Wooden docks reached out into the water below, small boats bobbing in the moonlight. Low light came from inside. Students milled around.

“Welcome to the club,” Vasquez said.

“That’s what you call it?” Alex asked.

“Listen,” Vasquez laughed. “That is a great name.”

“Uh-huh.”

Vasquez rolled their eyes as they led Alex inside.

Alex had never been anywhere with an energy like the club. All of the parties she had been to were similar, had the same sense of relief, but this place, the students, felt different.

Lighter, almost.

Students were jumping around on the dance floor while others crowded by the walls. A live band played on the stage.

Once they got closer, Alex could see M’gann on the stage, singing to a girl playing an electric violin.

Alex leaned close to Vasquez.

“Is that her girlfriend?” she asked.

Vasquez shrugged.

They looked around the crowd, then grinned. They jerked their head across the room.

“Lucy’s over there.”

Alex glanced at Vasquez before looking in the direction they gestured in.

Lucy was leaning against the far wall, laughing with another student. She looked up as Alex was watching, her head tilting when she noticed Alex.

“Good luck,” Vasquez said, patting Alex’s shoulder before disappearing into the crowd.

“Wait!”

Alex rolled her eyes, then turned just as Lucy walked up to her.

“What are you doing here?” Lucy asked.

“Was in the neighborhood.”

Lucy narrowed her eyes, tilted her head.

Alex shrugged. “Ran into Vasquez on their way here.”

Lucy looked around. “Where are they?”

“They ditched me. Um.” Alex spun around, squinting through the crowd until she finally found them. “They’re by the stage.”

“Mooning after M’gann?”

“Actually, they’re getting up on the stage.”

Alex bit her lip to keep from laughing as Lucy strained to try and see over the heads around her. Lucy stopped when a new song started, something poppy. She grinned at Alex, then her smile fell slightly.

She shook her head.

“You want a drink?”

Alex nodded.

They skirted around the dance floor to the bar in the corner.

“They don’t happen to serve alcohol, do they?” Alex asked, pressing against Lucy’s back to whisper in her ear.

Lucy pulled away quickly, shooting her a look, then rolled her eyes.

“You want alcohol, go see Brian.” She jerked her head towards a kid in the corner wearing an oversized suit.

“You know, I think I’ll actually pass.”

Lucy laughed. “Good call.”

By the time they had gotten their drinks, the song had ended and another started. They leaned against the wall, watching the band.

Erin, Vasquez, and M’gann had a chemistry on stage Alex hadn’t expected. Vasquez and M’gann, sure, she had seen them at the school. Erin and M’gann, sure, they were dating.

But all three of them worked seamlessly.

She leaned closer to Lucy when Erin sat on the edge of Vasquez’s bench as Vasquez kept a steady beat while Erin went off on a solo.

“You know, I’m surprised Vasquez and Erin seem to get along,” Alex said.

Lucy nodded. “They play really well together.”

“And I didn’t know M’gann could sing like that.”

Lucy hummed. “She says she majored in dance because she already knows how to sing.”

Alex laughed. “Clearly.”

The song ended soon, and the band announced a small break in the set.

Lucy grabbed Alex’s hand, lacing their fingers together, and pulled her through the club. They weaved through the other students, sticking close to the wall until Lucy pulled her through a door backstage.

Their hands disconnected as M’gann jumped at Lucy, throwing her arms around Lucy's neck.

“Did you see that crowd?” she asked.

Lucy grinned at her, pulled her into another hug.

“Of course. You guys are amazing.”

M’gann grinned, then turned and waved Erin over.

Alex eyed her.

A year or two years older than them. Light brown skin. Black and white sundress. Purple hair that had clearly been dyed months ago and had inches of brown at the roots.

The violin case hanging from her shoulder was tattered and covered in band stickers.

“Erin, this is Lucy,” she said.

Erin held her hand out for Lucy, who took it.

“It's nice to finally meet you,” Lucy said.

“Likewise.”

Erin glanced at Alex. Her smile was soft, sincere.

“This is Alex,” Lucy said.

Alex nodded, keeping her hands in her pockets.

There were a few moments of silence. M’gann shuffled in place, one arm crossed her body to rub the other.

“Luce,” she said. “Can we talk to you?” She jerked her head away from the crowd. “In private?”

“Yeah, of course,” Lucy said. She turned to Alex. “I’ll be back.”

Alex shrugged. “I’ll, uh, be at that juice bar thing.”

Lucy raised an eyebrow as M’gann led her through the small backstage area, then out a back door.

The moon hung over the bay, the few stars that could shine through the city’s light were scattered around it.

Vasquez was leaning against the wall but straightened when they saw them. Their smile was nervous. Their hands were shoved in their jacket pockets.

Lucy glanced between them and M’gann and Erin.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“We want to tell you something,” Vasquez said. “But it's something we only want you to know, y’know?”

M'gann stepped next to Vasquez, pressing against their side. Erin hovered nearby.

“Yeah, of course,” Lucy said.

The three of them glanced at each other.

“You... you're our best friend,” M'gann said. “And we don't really like keeping stuff from you, but we have been, and…”

She trailed off, looking to Erin, to Vasquez. She took a deep breath.

Lucy kept quiet. The nervous energy over them was familiar in a way that nagged at her.

M'gann took a deep breath. “It isn't just me and Erin dating. It’s...it’s all three of us.”

Lucy blinked. She glanced at Erin for a moment, taking in her small, nervous smile, then turned back to Vasquez and M’gann.

“You’re all...dating each other?” she slowly asked. “How…”

M’gann sucked in a breath.

Vasquez grabbed her hand.

“It’s called polyamory,” they said. “It’s not cheating, it’s just...it’s the three of us. We all like each other, so why leave one of us out?”

Lucy ducked her head. She pursed her lips.

She could feel the first instinct to argue, to tell them that it wasn’t right. She closed her eyes. She let that instinct pass.

This was M’gann and Vasquez, her best friends.

They’d been there for her through her mother’s death, through her coming out to herself and eventually them. Just the previous week, they’d been there after she’d broken up with James.

She took a deep breath as she looked up.

M’gann was better at hiding her nerves than Vasquez.

Lucy turned to Erin. She narrowed her eyes, scrutinizing her. The purple in her hair starting to fade at the tips, the way her fingers tangled together in nerves. Lucy wondered if she had a habit of messing with her hair and was fighting the urge.

The light on the wall was harsher on her brown skin than the stage lights had been, but she looked closer to the young eighteen she was than she did when she had been performing.

“They’re my best friends,” Lucy said.

Erin nodded.

“Treat them right.”

Lucy missed Erin’s response as she was tackled from the side.

Vasquez let out a barrage of  _ thank yous _ and pressed a kiss to her cheek before pulling back. They stared at her, giant smile across their face.

Lucy laughed, then threw her own arms around them. She squeezed lightly before letting go. They both grinned at each other for a moment, then Lucy turned to M’gann.

M’gann still looked cautious.

“You let me mess with you about liking Vas,” Lucy said, “and you were dating them the entire time?”

M’gann smiled as she nodded.

The door opened. A stage hand poked his head out. “Break’s almost up. One minute to set.”

“We need to…” Erin softly cut in.

Lucy nodded. “Of course.”

Vasquez gave Lucy a quick hug before following Erin inside.

Lucy grabbed M’gann’s wrist as she moved past, and pulled her into a hug too.

“Thank you,” M’gann whispered.

“Any time.”

“You coming?”

“In a minute.”

M’gann nodded, then went inside.

Lucy closed her eyes as she heard the door close. She took a deep breath, then opened her eyes.

A small cloud was covering part of the moon.

She watched it as she walked away from the club, to the edge of the boardwalk. She sat on the ledge of concrete and stared up at the sky.

She wanted to be happy for them.

She  _ was  _ happy for them.

It might still take her a little while before she was fully comfortable with the entire thing, but she would get there. She knew she would.

“You know…”

She jumped as Alex sat next to her. Alex stared up at the sky.

“I hate that seeing stars makes me happy,” Alex continued. “Where I grew up, you could see so many stars. Puts this view to shame.”

Lucy watched as a small smile crossed Alex’s face before vanishing almost instantly. The moon shone across Alex’s face. Her skin looked paler. Her hair and eyes looked black.

“That’s my story, but what’s got you staring at the stars like that?” Alex asked.

Lucy shook her head. “Nothing, really.” She sighed. “Stars, huh?”

Alex shrugged.

“My father used to take me out to the beach at night and teach me the constellations.”

“Where’d you grow up?”

“Midvale. It’s a small town a few hours up north.”

“I’ve heard of it.”

Alex glanced over at her. She looked back out at the water.

“I miss it.”

Lucy took a deep breath.

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

Alex looked at her again. “Yeah.”

Lucy smiled. She dropped down to the dock below them.

Alex laughed before joining her.

“So…” Alex drawled. “You guys really do this on a regular basis?”

Lucy nodded and laughed lightly.

Alex shook her head. “That's crazy.” She kicked at a post on the dock. “How, uh, how’re you doing? About James?”

Lucy shrugged. James was the last thing she wanted to talk about. “Fine, I guess. I mean, as fine as I can be.”

“That’s good. Not, not that you broke up, but that you’re doing okay.”

“Thanks.”

They walked in silence for a few minutes. Lucy glanced over at Alex every few moments. She caught Alex looking back most of the times. Lucy fidgeted with a loose thread on her shirt.

“What was Midvale like?”

Alex shoved her hands in her pockets and shrugged.

“It's on the beach. I surfed, watched the stars.” She shrugged again. “I left when I was nine.”

“Do you want to go back?”

Alex let out a dry laugh. She leaned on the concrete wall.

“I wish I could go back, but I try not to want things.”

Lucy tilted her head. “What’s the difference?”

“Wishing is..” She cut off, shook her head. “Wanting is more real. You don’t wait for a shooting star to want something.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“It's just...wanting things usually ends in disappointment for me.”

“So there's nothing?”

Alex shook her head. “Nothing I'll let myself think I'll actually get.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

Lucy shrugged. She sat on the edge of the dock, feet swinging above the water.

Alex sat next to her a moment later.

“I have a sister, well, a cousin, technically. She wasn't even a year old when our parents died. Everything I do? I have to think about her. I forgot that for a while and did what I wanted and got in trouble.” She chuckled. “A lot of trouble, and if I don't change…” she sighed. “Kara comes first. It doesn't matter what I want.”

Lucy swallowed.

“It must be nice to have that choice,” Alex said under her breath.

Lucy couldn't help but laugh. “There isn't much choice in my life.”

Alex scoffed. “You go to school to dance.”

“Yeah, then I go home to my father who is convinced the only path for me is the Army, and I can't even tell him why that might not work.”

“Why wouldn't it? You definitely give off that drill sergeant vibe.”

Lucy shoved at her with her shoulder.

“I’m serious,” Alex continued. “I don’t even think my instructor when I was a kid scared me as much, and that woman was terrifying.”

“Not sure I like that comparison.”

Alex chuckled, then sighed. “I loved Miss. Cat.”

Lucy blinked at the name. She shook off the familiarity, before smirking.

“Sounds like you had a crush.”

Alex hummed. She leaned forward, staring down at the water.

“I seem to have a tendency to crush on my dance instructors.”

Lucy turned to Alex. She stared at the side of her face as Alex stared at the water. She could just make out the twitch in Alex’s jaw.

“Can I kiss you?”

Alex blinked.

She looked up at Lucy as Lucy looked away.

Lucy’s heart pounded in her ears. Her chest caved in. She hadn’t meant to say that. It had just burst out.

That had been stupid. So fucking…

Alex was kissing her. Alex's hand was cupping her cheek after turning her head, and Alex was kissing her.

Alex's lips were soft and gentle and on hers.

Lucy kept her eyes closed after Alex pulled away.

“Wow.” The word was hushed as it left her lips.

Alex pressed her forehead to Lucy's. “Yeah.”

“If you wanted things, would you want this?” Lucy asked.

“I think you want it enough for both of us.”

* * *

 

Alex left the club floating.

She couldn’t help but grin as she sat in the back of the bus. Even Vasquez teasing her endlessly about her mood didn’t kill it.

She and Lucy had talked.

Well, they had mostly kissed - under the moon, under the stars, the sound of the ocean around them, feeling safe enough to only check for other people every few minutes - but they had also talked.

They were going to try.

They were going to date.

And, fuck, Alex actually wanted it, no matter what she said.

As she walked from the bus stop to the house, the feelings started to mute.

Maggie.

Maggie was going to be in her room, in her bed.

She opened the door, slipping her shoes off just inside as she closed the door.

“One night…”

She jumped, spinning around.

Fred was standing in the doorway to the kitchen. He stepped towards her.

“You’re not going to come home.”

She pressed back against the door. She reached into her pocket with one hand, gripping her keys, and reached for the doorknob with the other.

She could smell the beer on him.

“And nobody is going to give a single fuck.”

He huffed, then spun and stomped up the stairs.

Alex let out the breath she was holding. She slumped against the door.

She clenched her jaw, sucked in a steadying breath, and quietly made her way up the stairs. She watched Fred and Edna’s door until she made it to her room.

And Maggie was pushing herself up in her bed. She blinked a few times before rubbing one of her eyes with a fist.

“Alex?”

“Shhh.”

Maggie sat with her legs crossed, Alex’s pillow in her lap.

Alex could feel the way Maggie watched her as she changed into her pajamas. When she stepped up to the bed, Maggie moved, shifting onto her knees and pulling Alex closer by her hips.

“The folks are home, but I know you can be quiet,” Maggie whispered.

Alex wanted to, but Lucy, Lucy, Lucy.

Alex pulled Maggie’s hands from her.

“I’m too tired tonight.”

Maggie’s face fell. “Oh. Okay.”

She pulled back and laid down, turning so she was facing the wall with her back to Alex. She took the pillow with her, curling around it.

Alex watched her for a moment before climbing into bed. She lay so her back was to Maggie. She folded her arms under her head and stared at the triangle of light on the floor as she ignored the guilt curling in her stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major thanks for all of the comments and kudos :)


	9. I Feel My Feet (lifting from underneath)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pancakes and dancing and empty rooms

Alex woke to giggling in front of her and warmth against her back. She pulled her blanket up over her face as she pushed back into the warmth. She smiled despite herself at Kara’s huff, but managed to hold back the laugh when small hands shook her shoulder.

“ _ Al _ ex,” Kara whined.

She held still, pretending to be asleep.

The arm around her waist tightened. Lips pressed against the back of her neck.

“Aaa- _ ha _ -lex. Wake up.”

Her body shook violently under Kara’s hand.

Maggie clung even tighter to her, laughed under her breath.

“Leave them, Kara,” Jamie’s voice rose up. “We’ll just eat all the pancakes ourselves.”

“With me?” Winn asked.

“Of course,” Jamie answered.

Alex shot up, grabbing Kara and pulling her onto the bed and flush against her. She held Kara’s wrists with one hand and held her torso with the other arm. Kara shrieked.

“Why would I want pancakes, when I can have Kara?”

She pretended to bite up Kara’s arm.

Kara squirmed against Alex’s grip. “Let me go, weirdo.”

“Nope.”

“Alex!”

“You woke me up.”

“We made you breakfast!”

“You’re not supposed to cook without me.”

“Jamie cooked.”

Alex rested her chin on the top of Kara’s head, staring at Jamie and Winn as they hovered in the doorway.

Jamie shrugged. “Fred and Edna are gone, and these two were hungry.”

Maggie sat up, resting her head against Alex’s arm.

Alex let out an exaggerated sigh.

“Fine, I guess we’ll come eat,” Alex said.

Jamie grinned. Winn gave a small smile.

Kara squirmed in her arms.

“Can you let me go now?”

“Nope.”

Alex kicked the blanket off before standing, lifting Kara with her. Kara slumped in her arms, resigned to her fate.

“You’re a buttface,” Kara said.

“I know, Supergirl, I know.”

* * *

 

Lucy looked up, still holding her stretch, as footsteps echoed around the studio. She held Alex’s gaze for a moment before looking down with a smile.

Her stomach had been a nervous mess the entire weekend.

A happy nervous mess.

She had found herself grinning at random, laughing to herself, stopping in the middle of homework questions to just lean back in her chair and remember that she had a girlfriend. She was dating Alex. She had kissed. Alex had kissed her.

She moved to the next stretch.

“Hey,” Alex softly said as she sat next to her.

Lucy glanced up to smile at her. “Hi.”

“How, uh, how was your weekend?”

“Good.”

“That’s good.”

Lucy moved to the next stretch. Alex started stretching next to her.

“So, uh,” Alex started. She twisted to look around the room. “You doing anything after this?”

Lucy looked up at her. “That work on all the girls?”

Alex tilted her head back and forth for a moment, seeming to consider until Lucy shoved her lightly.

“No,” Lucy answered. “I’m not doing anything.”

“Then would you like to do something?”

“Depends on who’s asking.”

“Me? I literally just asked.”

Lucy looked up to smirk at her. Alex rolled her eyes, but smiled.

Lucy looked around the same way Alex had earlier. She watched a few other students walk past the open studio door before looking back at Alex.

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

Alex ducked her head. The light blush rising up her cheeks was adorable. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

Lucy moved to the next stretch.

“I might be cool with that.”

“Cool.”

* * *

 

“It’s nice.”

Maggie scoffed. “It sucks.”

Alex grimaced. She lifted a few slates of the blinds, looking out at the parking lot.

“I hate that I have to bring Jamie here,” Maggie continued.

Alex let the blinds close. She turned around to face the room.

Maggie was sitting on the edge of the single bed. Her shoulders were hunched, one hand worrying at her hair.

“Hey,” Alex said. She moved to sit next to Maggie, pulling the hand from her hair and holding it between hers. “You can stay with me a little longer if you need to.”

“I already paid for this place. Besides, it’s been almost a week, we’re going to get found out eventually.”

“Yeah, but…”

“Alex.” Maggie turned to her. “I have to do this.”

Alex held her gaze for a few moments.

It would be so easy to just lean in and kiss her.

But Maggie didn’t want that.

But Lucy.

Lucy.

Alex stood, dropping Maggie’s hand. “We should probably go get Jamie before it’s too late.”

Maggie blinked a few times, then nodded. “Yeah, right.”

* * *

 

The sun setting beyond the bay sent waves of color across the ocean.

Alex turned her head to press a kiss to Lucy’s temple. There was still a light layer of sweat on her skin from the dancing they had done, free to dance as close as they wanted, free from worry over someone walking in.

Lucy played with Alex’s fingers as she held the hand in her lap.

“When do you have to be home?” Alex asked.

Lucy looped Alex’s arm around her shoulders, leaning into her and holding onto her hand.

“Not til ten.”

Alex pressed another kiss to Lucy’s hair.

* * *

 

Maggie ducked through the house, stepping around partiers and drunks until she reached the cordoned off area Lex Luthor had claimed. She caught his attention quickly, and was let through.

“Sawyer,” he said. “I hope it’s good this time.”

Maggie nodded, keeping her eyes on Luthor. She handed him the paper his man on the street had given her for the car. He scanned it, and grinned.

“Very nice.”

He reached into his pocket, pulling out a wad of bills.

As he counted through them, movement to the side pulled her attention.

Her stomach twisted at the way Lord was inspecting her.

She pushed it aside.

Lord was a sleaze.

She took the money when Luthor held it out, and got out as quickly as she could.

Parties weren’t the same without Alex.

* * *

 

“What’re your plans?”

Alex looked up from her stretch. She bit her lip at the sight of Lucy’s ass as she bent over to stretch.

“Plans for what?” Alex asked.

Lucy looked at her, her upside down expression telling Alex she knew what she was looking at.

“After graduation? You’re a senior, right?”

“Yeah.” Alex shrugged. “I’m just gunna work. I don’t really have the money for school, and the guy I work for during the summer offered me a full time position after graduation.”

“Doing what?”

“It’s just at a factory. Not much, but it’s a job, not horrible pay, and I should be able to afford my own place with it.”

She needed to be stable, show that she could be stable to get Kara.

* * *

 

Alex stepped on the balls of her feet. When she was right behind Kara, she slipped her arms around Kara’s waist and propped her chin on Kara’s shoulder.

She got a quick glance at the page Kara was drawing on before Kara slammed her sketchbook closed. The drawing seemed to be in the early stages. All Alex could tell was that it was going to be a person.

“You can’t look,” Kara said.

“Why not?” Alex asked.

“It’s a secret.”

Alex groaned. “Please?”

“No.”

“Pretty please with sugar on top?”

“Nope.”

“Ugh.” She stood, pulling away from Kara and shoving her head lightly. “You’re a brat.”

“And you’re a doofus.”

Alex clutched at her chest, pretending to stumble backwards until she hit the wall. “O treachery! Fly, good Fleance, fly, fly, fly! Thou mayst revenge-O slave!”

Kara looked over her shoulder, eyebrow raised. “See, doofus.”

Alex stuck her tongue out at Kara, only to have the gesture returned.

* * *

 

Lucy ran her finger down the edge of the picture before picking it up. She looked at it for a moment, then passed it to Alex.

“My first recital,” she said.

Alex grinned. “You were adorable. Look at all that chub.”

Lucy slapped lightly at Alex’s arm. “I was five.”

“And an adorable, chubby five year old.”

Lucy rolled her eyes as she looked at the next picture in the box.

“Your mom?”

Lucy nodded. She picked up the picture, smiling.

“She was really pretty,” Alex said. She lifted her chair slightly to move closer. “You look just like her.”

Lucy sucked in a breath. She put the recital picture over the one of her mother.

“So, you think I’m pretty?”

She could see the worry in Alex’s eyes, but Alex smirked.

“Yeah, I do.” She tilted her head. “And cute, beautiful, hot, sexy as fuck.”

Lucy slapped her arm again, more serious that time.

“It’s true,” Alex protested. “I mean, you’re also smart and funny and and smell good and…”

Lucy cut her off with a kiss.

“...really good at dancing and dedicated to an almost nauseating degree and…”

Lucy kissed her again.

“And good at that. You should keep doing that.”

Lucy laughed, leaning in for another kiss.

A cough from elsewhere in the room made her pull back.

She briefly caught Alex's surprise before her focus tunneled.

“Dad.”

Her stomach dropped. She struggled to pull in a breath.

He wasn't supposed to be home for another day.

He focused on Alex, who had turned.

His face was twisted.

“Get out of my house.”

Alex tilted her chin up, squared her shoulders.

There were a few moments of silence.

Lucy's knuckles turned white under her grip on the table.

_ Breathe. _

_ Just breathe. _

She couldn't help but cry out as her father surged forward, grabbing Alex's arm and pulling her from her chair.

Alex stumbled, only staying up because of her father's grip.

Lucy's father turned, dragging Alex around and putting himself between them.

“Get out of my house,” he repeated.

Lucy met Alex's eyes around her father. Alex’s eyes held the same fear Lucy felt, but there was also a hardness, a stubbornness.

“Go,” Lucy said. “Please.”

Alex softened.

Just for a moment, however. The softness vanished completely when Lucy's father started to walk forward.

Lucy watched in shock as her father shoved Alex ahead of him, his hand still on her arm, Alex stumbling to stay upright.

Lucy nearly fell as she rushed after them.

She reached the front hallway in time to hear her father growl something at Alex then shove her out the door.

Lucy swallowed as he turned to her. Her knees locked. She struggled to breath as fast as her body wanted her to.

She stared at the wall. She couldn't take his disappointment.

She couldn't.

“You know why you can't do that.”

His voice was low, tight.

It sounded like it did when he addressed a soldier who had disobeyed an order.

“I don't want to see her again. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Go to your room.”

She waited a moment, trying to remind her legs how to move, before doing as she was told.

Her bedroom door was hard against her back as she fell back against it. She let herself slide down to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest as she blankly stared across her room.

* * *

 

Alex kicked at a can in the sidewalk. It rattled off of the curb, into the gutter.

She'd fucked up.

Fucked up so hard.

She'd basically outed Lucy to her father, then had just left her.

Fuck.

She knew how dangerous that situation could be.

She rubbed her arm, where the bruises from his grip were forming.

A cop car drove past. The hairs on the back of her neck stood.

_ If is ever see you around my daughter again, if I ever see you in this neighborhood again, you will regret it, do you understand? _

The words looped in her head. Over and over.

She stopped walking. She looked around, for something, anything that might give her an idea.

There.

She crossed the street to the payphones attached to a bank wall. She searched through her pockets until she pulled out a few quarters.

_ “Hello?” _

“Vasquez? It's Alex.”

_ “Alex? What's up?” _

“Can you check on Lucy? Make sure she's alright?”

_ “What? Yeah. What happened?” _

“I...I can't really say, just call her?”

_ “Of course.” _

“Thanks.” She hung up before Vasquez could push harder.

She turned to look down the street to Lucy's home.

Maybe she should go back, just to make sure Lucy was alright.

But she recognized the look in his eyes. He would go through with his threat. Even if he didn’t get physical, he could call the cops on her.

And, if she was arrested again, she'd lose any chance of getting custody of Kara.

If she didn't end up in prison.

Alex groaned as she checked her watch.

Fuck.

She had to be at Rhea's office in an hour.

The meeting about her plan after turning eighteen in February.

Her chance to finally talk to the woman about her trouble with NCSA.

Her chance to make sure she’ll still eventually be able to get custody of Kara.

Alex closed her eyes, screwing them shut.

Kara or Lucy.

Kara or Lucy.

Fuck.

She mentally asked Lucy to forgive her as she started off down the sidewalk, towards the closest bus stop.

* * *

 

By the time Lucy realized that the noise was her phone ringing, the call had been sent to voicemail.

She blinked.

Her phone started to ring again.

She pushed herself up.

Her footsteps were heavy as she crossed her room.

She spun the phone to read the small screen on the outside.

Vas.

The call went to voicemail.

And Vasquez was trying again.

Lucy closed her eyes as she flipped the phone open and raised it to her ear.

_ “Thank fuck, Lucy,” _ Vasquez said.

“What's up, Vas?” Lucy asked.

_ “You tell me. I just got a call from Alex, telling me to call you.” _

Lucy sat on the edge of her bed.

“It's nothing.”

_ “Bull. You sound like a robot right now, something's up.” _

Lucy screwed her eyes against the tears building.

“Vas, please.”

_ “Did Alex do something?” _

“No, no. It's…”

God.

Her dad knew.

Her dad  _ knew. _

He'd looked so pissed.

The sob pulled from her chest.

“He knows,” she forced out. “He found out, about me, about Alex.”

Vasquez sucked in a breath.  _ “Fuck.” _

“I don't know what to do.”

_ “It'll be okay, Luce, okay? Do you need me to come over?” _

Lucy shook her head. She slid down the side of the bed, pushing herself into the corner of the bed and nightstand.

“I don't think that'll go over well right now.”

_ “If you say so. I’ll stay on the line, though, alright? As long as you need, and I can bring M’gann in on the other line.” _

Lucy leaned her head against the nightstand. “Thank you.”

_ “Anything you need, Luce, you know that.” _

* * *

 

Alex walked up to the desk barely five minutes before her appointment time.

The secretary raised an eyebrow, barely kept her judgment hidden, but checked her in and nodded her through to the small waiting area.

Alex slumped in a corner seat. She stuck her hands in her pocket and stared at the floor.

“Alexandra.”

The woman was dressed as impeccable as ever. She looked at Alex with the faintest trace of distaste like always.

Alex's stomach churned the way it did whenever she met Rhea.

Alex followed after her to her office.

“I must apologize again for not being able to get you in sooner in regards to your legal trouble,” Rhea said. She sat at her desk, then gestured for Alex to take the seat on the other side. “With how busy my schedule has been, I thought it best for us to discuss both issues in one sitting.”

Alex shrugged as she sat. She stared at the stuff on Rhea's desk.

The Newton’s Cradle that was steadily clacking. The gold and black name plate. The same picture of Rhea with her son that had been there for eight years.

Rhea rifled through some papers, then sighed.

“First, your questions regarding your cousin. I’ll be honest, Alexandra, this doesn't look good.”

Alex looked up.

“Breaking and entering, trespassing, destruction of property. These are serious charges.”

Alex shrugged.

“Fortunately, the director of the school has sent reports, saying that you've been diligent about the community service hours.”

Alex nodded. “I have been.”

“Which will work in your favor towards a fresh start after you turn eighteen.”

Alex fought to not squirm in the silence. Rhea would continue once she felt the tension built enough.

“But, I'm afraid this most likely killed any chance you have of getting custody of Kara.”

Alex blinked. She ducked her head, stared at her lap.

“I'm sorry, Alexandra.” Rhea flipped through the papers again. “Hopefully, without having to keep her with you, I will be able to get Kara into a more permanent home, possibly even adopted to a good family.”

Alex’s heart sank. Her stomach twisted.

“Now, as for your case closing plan, you have the option of either finding your own place of residence, or staying with the Lee’s until your graduation.”

* * *

 

Maggie glanced both ways before crossing the street.

Luthor had given her five hundred dollars for the car. She and Jamie could stay at the room she had just gotten for a little longer. Until she made another run, at least. For the time, though, she needed to buy them food, and probably could afford another dose of puberty blockers for Jamie.

If she could get Alex to join her next time, they could really go for a good car.

But she wouldn't ask.

Alex was getting her life together. She had her own sister to look after, and in a way that didn't require breaking the law.

In a way that very specifically meant not breaking the law.

She paused outside the door to her and Jamie's room. The door wasn't closed completely.

She swallowed. She pressed her hand flat against the door and pushed it open.

“Jamie?”

There was no response. Her stomach was a knot.

“Jamie?”

The room was dark, empty.

Maggie opened the closet door, the bathroom, checked under the bed.

No.

No.

“Jamie?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, major thanks to everyone for the kudos and comments :)


	10. Spin Me Around (grab my hand)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things, uh, don't get better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with misgendering and transphobia. If you want to avoid it, skip the scenes with Maggie in the gas station and he end of the scene after Alex talks to Luthor.

“I got you orange juice.”

Alex groaned as she pushed herself up. She blinked her eyes open.

Kara was watching her carefully, a full glass of juice held with both hands.

Alex took the glass from her before it tipped over. She took a drink before putting it in the nightstand.

She felt a twinge of guilt at Kara's hesitance. She'd been short when she came home the night before, gone right to her room, and barely acknowledged Kara.

She held her arm out, inviting Kara to move closer, and pulling her into a hug when she did.

“I love you. You know that, right?”

“Duh.”

Alex smiled. She held Kara for another moment before Kara squirmed away.

“We havta go to school,” Kara said.

Alex groaned. “Alright. You ready?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Alright, let me get dressed, and I'll be right down.”

“Okay.”

Alex watched Kara run out of the room, then fell back on her bed. She stared at the ceiling, wishing she didn't have to climb out of bed.

* * *

Lucy tightened her grip on the strap of her bag. The knot in her stomach grew heavier with each passing minute.

She could do this.

She had to.

She had been rehearsing the words in her head the entire day, doing her best to imagine what Alex’s reaction would be.

She knew Vasquez and M’gann were worried about her. It would have been nearly impossible for her to miss the way they kept checking in on her the entire day.

But, they hadn’t pushed her.

They didn’t know what she was planning.

She squared her shoulders when she noticed Alex walking up the sidewalk.

Alex, who saw her a moment later, who looked concerned and uncertain, who approached her slowly, hesitantly.

“How're you doing?”

Lucy shrugged with one shoulder. “Can we go somewhere more private?”

Alex sucked in a breath, then nodded.

They were silent as Lucy led them around the building.

“I'm sorry,” Alex said as soon as Lucy stopped. “I shouldn't have left, I shouldn't have put you in that position, I shouldn't…”

“No,” Lucy cut her off. “It's my fault.”

She watched the brief confusion flit across Alex's face.

A car door opened nearby. She ignored it.

“I'm sorry, Alex.” 

Her next words for caught in her throat. She just wanted to collapse into Alex's arms, hide from the world.

But she couldn't get away from her father's voice, his words running through the back of her mind.

“This, us, it has to end.”

Alex's face went blank.

“I'm sorry. I think it'll be best if I find another rehearsal partner, too.”

Alex blinked repeatedly, quickly. She nodded, ducking her head, shoving her hands in her pocket.

Her silence struck Lucy.

Would she not even fight for them?

“I really am sorry,” she said.

Alex shrugged. “It's whatever, but I guess you should go, so you aren't late to your rehearsal.”

“Yeah, I guess I should.”

She took a few steps backwards, part of her hoping that Alex would stop her, then she spun on her heel.

She hoped, with each step, that Alex would call her back.

She hoped that Alex wouldn't, that Alex wouldn't put her in that situation.

* * *

Maggie watched as the art school girl walked away from Alex.

She watched as Alex just stood there, completely dejected.

And anger boiled in her stomach.

“So,” she said.

Alex spun to her. Alex's eyes were wide.

“How long were you dating her? Did it start while you were still fucking me, or is she why you suddenly stopped?”

“Maggie…”

Maggie stepped back as Alex stepped forward.

“No.” She gripped the car handle. “Jamie’s missing, has been all night, but I guess you have more important things going on.”

She got into the car before Alex could say anything.

She blinked back tears as she backed out of the alley.

Alex hadn't moved.

* * *

 

Lucy kept her chin up as she walked into the dance studio. She ignored the questioning looks from M’gann and Vasquez throughout the rehearsal.

She didn't want to talk about it.

She didn't  _ need  _ to talk about it.

She was fine.

She put the dancers through rehearsal with a practiced ease. If any of them noticed her distraction, they didn’t say anything. She got a few questions about Alex, but gave an excuse she barely remembered once it was out of her mouth.

She made it through the rehearsal, dismissed everyone.

“How’re you feeling?” M’gann asked.

Lucy sighed. She didn’t want to do this. She didn’t want to talk about it.

Any of it.

“I’m fine,” she forced out.

“Bull,” Vasquez said before Lucy even finished. “How are you, Lucy?”

Lucy shrugged with one shoulder. “How am I supposed to be?”

She could practically feel them looking at each other behind her back.

“Where’s Alex?” Vasquez asked.

Lucy couldn’t help the way her shoulders tensed. “I don’t know.”

“Lucy?”

“We broke up.”

She grabbed her bag and broke away from them in their silence.

“Lucy! Wait.”

She froze at M’gann’s words.

“What happened?”

Lucy twisted her grip on the strap of her bag. She clenched her eyes closed for a moment. She took a deep breath and spun around.

“My dad,” she said, keeping her voice low. “He’s right. I...I can’t be with her. It’s too much of a risk.”

“Lucy…”

“No.” She closed her eyes and bowed her head. She clenched her jaw against the trembling. She looked back up.

They were watching her with wide eyes.

“I can’t.” She took a step back, shaking her head, trying to breath through the weight on her chest. Can’t stand up to her dad. Can’t be with Alex. Can’t be...Can’t be... “I just can’t.”

She turned, using both hands to hold the strap of her bag to her chest as she walked away.

* * *

 

Maggie pulled a small wad of bills from her pocket, hyper aware of her knuckles brushing against the chocolate bar she had slipped into the pocket.

She usually wouldn’t steal from a convenience store, it was too risky, but she needed it and didn’t have the money to spare.

The world buzzed around her.

Jamie was missing.

Alex was...something.

Everything was falling apart.

_ “And good news for the night, a young boy, kidnapped a few years back, has been reunited with his family.” _

Maggie’s blood ran cold. She looked up at the TV behind the counter. She clenched her hand, the bread of the sandwich giving under the pressure.

A baby picture of Jamie appeared on the screen.

_ “Found in National City, over fifteen hundred miles from his home of Blue Springs, Nebraska, the boy was drugged and forced to disguise himself as a girl for the past two years.” _

A more recent picture of Jamie, her hair buzzed short.

Maggie’s heart clenched at the terrified look on her face.

_ “Thankfully, a well meaning member of the community looked past the disguise and reported seeing him. His parents flew out after hearing the news, and will be taking him back home in just a few hours.” _

Maggie dropped the sandwich and water and just barely caught the last of the broadcast as she left the store.

_ “The authorities have a few leads on the kidnapper, and are working hard to track her down.” _

* * *

 

Alex brushed off the hands that tried to pull her onto the dance floor. She ignored the comments of  _ it’s been a while, Danvers  _ and  _ I’ve missed you  _ and  _ where on Earth have you been? _

She didn’t want to get pulled onto the dance floot.

She didn’t want to get pulled into some girls bed.

She just wanted to find Maggie.

The music was loud. The lights flashed in a way that put pressure behind her eyes.

She just forced her way through the crowd to Luthor’s area.

Maggie hadn’t been at the apartment. She hadn’t been anywhere Alex had looked so far.

This was the last place she could think of.

She ignored Luthor’s men standing guard, and pushed against the back of the couch making a pseudo wall.

“Luthor!” she called over the music.

He glanced at her. He held up a finger, continuing his conversation.

Alex fidgeted as she waited for him. She shifted her weight from one foot to another.

She snapped into stillness when he looked back at her.

He stood slowly. He made his way over to her slowly.

He gestured for her to move to the small entrance to the area, his guards moving just enough to let them talk.

She did her best to not let any emotions show.

“What can I do for you, Danvers?” he asked.

“Just looking for Maggie,” she said. “Was wondering if she’d been by.”

Luthor shook his head. “And if you do see her, tell her I want that car she went out to get yesterday.”

Alex nodded. “Alright. Thank you.”

He jerked his head in a quick nod, then turned. The guards moved back into place.

Alex took a deep breath. She started to make her way back out of the party.

She weaved between dancers and ducked past a group of drunks.

Maggie was really gone.

She took a deep breath as she made her way outside. She leaned against the house for a moment, closing her eyes and letting her head fall back.

“She’s probably in jail.”

Alex froze at Lord’s voice.

She opened her eyes, looking up on the stoop to see him leering down at her.

“What?” she asked.

“Your girlfriend? See, I figured out something really interesting about her and her  _ sister _ .”

He started down the stairs.

The hair on the back of Alex’s neck stood. She stood up straight, eyes flicking around at all the people nearby.

“That wasn’t actually her sister. Did you know that? He’s her brother.” Lord chuckled. “And there’s a missing child report for him out in, Kansas or Arkansas or something.”

He turned around the edge of the stoop, starting towards her. He pressed a hand to his chest.

“And, as a concerned citizen, it was only my responsibility to report that I had seen the boy. I’m sure the police have taken care of it by now.”

She swallowed, lifted her chin, trying to keep him from seeing how he was getting to her.

He smirked. “You should be more careful about who you associate with.”

She watched as he made his way up the stairs and back inside.

She fell back against the building again.

Fuck.

* * *

 

The creaking of floorboards pulled Lucy’s attention up from the applications on her bed.

She held her breath as she watched her father’s shadow linger at her doorway. He left a few moments later, and she exhaled.

She hadn’t even seen her father since that night.

She had been actively avoiding him.

She didn’t know how to face him, didn’t know how to face that disappointment.

Her eyes caught the picture of her mother as she turned back to her work.

Her heart clenched. Her stomach twisted.

Making sure she didn’t mess up any papers, she stood. She walked to the dresser, ran a finger up the side of the frame, then lay the picture on its face.

* * *

 

As long as Alex could remember, Kara had slept like the dead.

At times it was aggravating. Getting Kara to wake before she was ready was nearly impossible. Moving her from where ever she had fallen asleep was like lifting steel.

But, she couldn’t help but be thankful for it at the moment as Kara’s door squeaked open.

A night light threw stars across the room. It just barely lit up the artwork Kara had taped to the walls. It just barely lit up Kara.

Alex sat on the edge of Kara’s bed, reaching up to brush some hair off of Kara’s face.

Kara would be fine. Without her in the picture, some family would be happy to take Kara in.

Alex bent down to press a kiss to Kara’s forehead.

Kara would be fine. She would be happier.

Alex kissed Kara once more, ligering with her lips against Kara’s skin. She stood after a few moments.

Kara would be fine. She would find some family who could get her out of this house, who could pay for art school, who could actually take care of her.

Alex looked around the room. Her eyes landed on Kara’s drawing pad.

Kara would be fine, but maybe Alex could…

She grabbed the pad, opening to the last page with anything on it. Doing her best to not look at the drawing, she scrawled a quick note in the corner. She closed the pad, trailing a finger down the cover before sighing.

She glanced at Kara before walking to the door.

“I love you, Supergirl,” she whispered back into the room before closing the door and grabbing the bag she had left in the hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks for all the kudos and comments :)


	11. Through Any Kind of Weather (never get wet)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things happen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes descriptions of the aftermath of physical transphobia.

Kara gently knocked on Alex’s door.

She waited a moment, then another. She didn’t expect an answer, but she waited.

Maybe.

Maybe.

She took a deep breath.

She pushed the door open.

The room was as empty as it had been the night before.

And the night before that.

And the night before that.

And every night the entire week.

She held her blanket tighter to her chest as she walked to Alex’s bed.

Alex hadn’t been home. Or, if she had, Kara hadn’t seen her.

Edna didn’t seem to care when she asked, and she wasn’t about to go to Fred.

She crawled under Alex’s blanket, curling up.

“You and me,” she murmured. “You and me.”

* * *

Every step Lucy took was careful, calculated, as she avoided each spot she knew would creak. She could hear her father in his study, and if he knew she was there, he would try to talk to her.

She just wanted to make it to her room.

She made it to the bottom of the stairs.

“Lucy.”

She froze for a moment before turning. She wrapped her arms around her waist. She ducked her head, staring at the floor.

“I’m not mad at you, Lucy,” he said.

Lucy shrugged.

“But you know the law,” he continued. “You can’t be like that, and if you really have to be, you can’t be so careless about it.”

Lucy dug her fingers into her side. She could hear him take a deep breath.

“This is why you’ve been applying to other schools.”

She shrunk back.

“Well, I guess we’ll just hope dance works out for you.”

She could hear the distaste in his voice, and she was hit by the realization that he no longer thought she was fit to serve.

“You can go.”

She spun, and only just managed to keep herself from running up the stairs.

Once in her room, she let her bag fall to the floor. She paced back and forth, only taking a few steps before spinning back around.

This wasn’t how things were supposed to go.

She was supposed to get a job from the showcase.

But she didn’t have a partner anymore.

But Alex was gone and Mon-El had re-injured himself trying to come back too soon.

She was supposed to join the army if dance didn’t work.

But the law.

But her father.

She stopped. Her hands clenching at the edge of her dresser to hold herself steady as she rocked back and forth. She squeezed her eyes shut. The walls were too close. The room was too warm.

She opened her eyes.

The picture of her mother was right there, still face down.

Lucy took a deep breath, fighting against the band wrapped around her lungs. She stood up straight.

She reached for the frame, fingers trembling, then jerked her hand back.

She had to get out, had to get somewhere she could think.

She looked around the room, head jerking with each movement until she stopped, staring at the window.

Out.

* * *

 

Kara was cold. Even buried beneath Alex’s blanket, she couldn’t get warm.

She didn’t understand.

Alex had always said she wouldn’t leave, had said she would always be there.

You and me, forever.

But Alex was gone.

Kara didn’t want to think Alex would just leave her.

But Alex was gone.

She jumped as something knocked on the balcony door. She pushed back on the bed until her back was against the wall.

The knocking sounded again.

Kara pulled the blanket over her head. She screwed her eyes shut. She held her breath.

More knocking.

_ “Alex.” _

She froze at the voice.

_ “Alex?” _

Kara uncurled, pulling the blanket from over her head. Slowly, as slowly as she could, she climbed out of Alex’s bed, pulling the blanket with her as she made her way to the door.

_ “Alex, please.” _

Kara pulled the blinds back enough to look through the window on the door. She could just make out Maggie.

She opened the door just before Maggie knocked again.

“Kara? Where’s Alex?”

Kara shrugged, tightening her grip keeping the blanket around her shoulder.

Maggie knelt down, tugging at the blanket lightly to tighten it.

“You don’t know?” Maggie quietly asked.

Kara took a shuddering breath. “She’s been gone all week. I thought she might be with you.”

Maggie shook her head. “No.” She looked at something out on the balcony. “Can we come in? Spend the night?”

“Will you help me find Alex?”

Maggie’s lips went thin for a moment. She nodded. “Of course.”

Kara nodded. She stepped back to let her in.

Maggie stepped to the side for a moment, then reappeared with Jamie in her arms.

Kara furrowed her brow. One of Jamie’s eyes was bruised. Her hair, just visible under her hood, was cut short.

“What happened?” she asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” Maggie said. She urged Jamie to sit on the edge of Alex’s bed.

Kara stood to the side as she watched them. She wanted to ask again, but also wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

Maggie pulled Jamie’s shoes off, setting them to the side. She tugged Jamie’s hood more securely up, pausing for a moment to cup her cheek.

“Can you share the bed with Kara?” Maggie asked.

Jamie glanced at Kara, then nodded.

Maggie gave her a small smile. “Okay. I’ll be on the floor, alright? I’ll be right here.”

Jamie nodded again. She looked at Kara, and smiled.

Kara returned it and climbed onto the bed. She held out a corner of the blanket. Jamie took it and they both curled up.

Kara watched Maggie’s form move through the dark for a few minutes, before vanishing to the floor. Kara settled in the bed, slightly warmer as she shifted closer to Jamie.

They were going to help her find Alex.

* * *

 

Lucy leaned back, holding onto the ladder handles to keep herself from falling. She let her head fall back. She breathed in the salty air.

She could think.

She could do this. She could figure something out.

Okay.

Dance.

She didn’t have a partner.

Mon-El was hurt.

Alex was completely MIA.

None of the back-up dancers were quite good enough to handle the lifts.

She could hold another audition.

She could get rid of the more advanced lifts.

She could…

She opened her eyes, staring out at the bay. She spun, staring at the space she had first come up with the dance.

She stepped forward. She closed her eyes again, taking in the sounds of the waves, of the distant traffic.

She opened her eyes.

Her first step was slow, almost hesitant, but she quickly lost herself to the rhythm.

Instinct more than anything led her movements. She let it flow through her, pulling from her lessons and the freedom Alex had shown her.

She adjusted to the differing levels of the ledges and maintenance boxes.

She imagined the other dancers around her.

Breathing deeply, she held her final pose, then let herself collapse to the ground.

The clouds moved slowly as she watched them cross the starry sky.

A solo.

She could do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do plan on writing a separate piece on how Maggie gets Jamie back. I don't know when that will happen, but it should.
> 
> Big thanks for all the comments and kudos :)


	12. You Dried My Eyes (want to wake up)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The search for Alex starts.

Kara leaned against the door, back against the wall. She listened to Fred and Edna’s footsteps, listened for the front door to open and close.

She turned her head so she could watch Maggie and Jamie as she listened.

The sisters were sitting on the edge of Alex’s bed. Maggie had an arm wrapped around Jamie’s shoulder and was whispering in her ear.

Kara turned back to stare at the wall across from her. She pulled her knees up, hugging them to her chest and laid her head down.

She missed Alex.

The unmistakable squeak of the screen on the front door sounded from the first floor.

“They’re leaving,” she said.

She looked back to Maggie and Jamie again. Maggie nodded.

“And Winn’s at school?” she asked.

Kara nodded.

Maggie took a deep breath and leaned further against Jamie.

The front door slammed shut, the way it always did when Fred closed it.

“They’re gone,” she said.

“Okay,” Maggie said. She pressed a kiss to the side of Jamie’s head, then stood. “Where do you think Alex could be?”

Kara shrugged. “I thought she might be with you.”

It scared her, not knowing where Alex was, when she might be back.

That she might just be gone.

That she left her.

Something that looked like regret flashed across Maggie’s face. She ducked her head, hair falling forward. She took a deep breath and looked up a moment later.

“I guess we’ll be running around the city for a bit, then.”

Kara knew the smile Maggie sent her was forced, fake.

“Some breakfast before we head out?” Maggie asked.

Kara stood and nodded. “Alright.”

* * *

 

Lucy shook her head. She stepped forward, hand raised.

“You’re coming out of the turn too late,” she told Adam. “The move is snappier, like this—” She stepped back, and went through the few steps. “Got it?”

He nodded. She gestured for him to do it again, then again, then grinned when he got it.

“There you go. Now, from the top.”

“Lucy!”

She held a hand out to stop Adam as she turned to M’gann.

M’gann jerked her head to the side. “There’s someone here to see you.”

“Can it wait?” Lucy asked.

“I don’t think it should.”

Lucy nodded. She turned to Adam. “I think we’re good for now. I’ll see you for the group rehearsal?”

Adam nodded. “Cool. I’ll see ya.”

Lucy looked back to M’gann, then followed her out of the studio.

“It’s about Alex,” M’gann said before Lucy could ask.

Lucy rolled her eyes and started to turn back.

“No, listen,” M’gann said. “Some of her friends are here, and her sister.”

Lucy froze.

“They said they haven’t seen her all week.”

Lucy didn't say anything, just started to walk. M’gann stepped quickly to get in front of her and lead her to where they need to go.

Lucy barely paid attention to where they were going.

A week.

She had broken up with Alex a week ago.

But there was no way that would have driven Alex to just vanish.

She didn't think so, anyway.

But, fuck, she should have checked on Alex when it became clear that she wasn't doing her hours at all.

She should have known something was wrong.

M’gann led her out of a side entrance, to the alley she had broken up with Alex in. Vasquez was leaning against the wall next to the door.

A girl their age was leaning against the opposite wall. Lucy recognized her as one of the girls she had seen with Alex through the window all those weeks ago. Two younger girls were sitting against the wall, the older of the two leaning on the younger as she flipped through a drawing pad.

The one standing pushed off from the wall. She eyed Lucy, a sadness in her eyes.

“You know Alex?” she asked.

Lucy nodded. “But I haven’t seen her.”

“For a week?”

Lucy nodded again.

The girl sucked in a breath. She dropped her head. “Okay. Um, did she ever tell you of somewhere she might have gone?”

“She’s really missing?” Lucy asked.

“She hasn’t been home,” the youngest girl said, glancing up for just a moment.

“Then why aren’t the cops looking for her?”

The oldest girl scoffed. “So they can arrest her for truancy and skipping out on her community service? Not a chance.”

“If she’s in danger…”

“Once we’ve checked everywhere,” the girl cut her off.

“Her parents haven’t gone to the cops?”

“Her  _ foster  _ parents couldn’t give two shits about her.”

“They only take us in for the money the state gives them,” the youngest said, looking up from her drawing pad. “Fred hates Alex, he wouldn’t go to the cops unless it was to stay out of trouble.”

“Exactly,” the older girl said. “So we need to find her.” She stepped forward, desperation starting to show on her face. “If you can think of anything that could help.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t think of anything,” Lucy said.

The girl’s face fell. She pursed her lips, glancing down at the younger girls.

Lucy turned, looking down the alley, mind racing, searching for anything. Anything Alex might have mentioned, commented on, said. But, there was nowhere in the city that came to mind.

In the city.

“You’ve stuck to the city, right?” she asked.

The girl nodded. “We’ve only been looking today.”

“What abo…”

“This is NCSA, right?” the youngest girl asked. She was staring at Lucy with wide eyes.

Lucy nodded. “Yeah.”

“Who’s Director Jones?”

“You mean Director J’onzz?”

The girl nodded.

“He’s like the principal. Why?”

The girl looked back at her drawing pad.

“Kara?” the older girl asked, crouching down.

“She left me a note,” Kara answered. Her voice wavered a bit. “Told me to find him if I needed help.”

Lucy glanced at M’gann and Vasquez. They both shrugged.

“We could take you to him,” she suggested.

“No,” the older girl instantly objected. “No way.”

“Why not?”

The girl stood, stepping towards Lucy. “Because how do we know we can trust him?”

“Alex apparently trusts him.”

“Alex is gone!”

“And do you have anymore ideas? Maybe he knows something that could help us find her.”

The girl clenched her jaw. Lucy could see the fear beneath the anger in her eyes. Round dimples were starting to dig into her cheeks.

“Maggie?” Kara said.

They both turned to see her standing, drawing pad held to her chest. 

“Can we try? Please?”

Maggie sighed. “Fine. But, if this goes bad,” she turned to Lucy, “it’s on you.”

Lucy nodded.

Maggie held her gaze for a moment, before turning to Kara, then the other girl. “Alright, you two...”

“I’m going with you,” Kara cut her off.

“Kara.”

“No. Alex is  _ my  _ sister. She left  _ me  _ the note.  _ I  _ am going to see him.”

Maggie sighed. “Fine. Jamie…”

“I’m not staying out here,” the third girl said. She stood, wrapping her arms tight around her waist as she stepped forward.

“No, you’re not,” Maggie agreed. “But you’re also not going near this J’onzz.”

“She can wait with us,” M’gann spoke up.

Maggie turned. She eyed M’gann and Vasquez for a few moments before turning back to Jamie.

“Are you okay with that?” she asked.

Jamie stared at the two for a few more moments.

“You won’t go far, right?” she asked Maggie.

“Of course not.”

Jamie nodded. “Okay.”

Maggie took a deep breath. “Alright.” She turned to Lucy. “Show us the way.”

* * *

A group of students walked past.

Jamie sunk back on the bench, hunching her shoulders, ducking her head. She stared at the floor and hoped that her hood covered enough of her face.

Or at least enough of the bruise.

The bruise would make people look closer, and people looking closer was the last thing she wanted.

One of the students Maggie had watching her sat next to her.

She flinched away.

She glanced up, looking around quickly, checking for any exits as she checked who was next to her.

Vasquez met her gaze.

Jamie looked back at the floor.

“I, uh, might be wrong,” Vasquez said, voice barely above a whisper. “But you look a lot like that kid that's been on the news lately.”

A cold chill ran down Jamie's neck. Her breath shuddered.

She looked to the office door, down the way they had first come, to the office door.

She fought back the urge to yell for Maggie even though the lump on her throat would have made it impossible to speak.

“Hey, no, no, no,” Vasquez said. “You're fine. I won't tell anyone, promise.”

Jamie turned enough to see them with one eye, the other still behind her hood.

“M’gann has some makeup in her purse. If you want, she can cover that bruise, and maybe even a little more?”

Jamie swallowed. She turned her head fully to look at Vasquez.

“I don't like makeup,” she whispered.

She wanted to but every time she tried it she was instantly on edge, waiting for her father’s voice, waiting for his hand around her wrist.

Vasquez smiled. “And that's cool, but there are pictures of you everywhere. That hood is only going to do so much.”

“It won't be much.”

Jamie's head snapped towards M’gann. She had moved closer. Her voice was just as soft as Vasquez’s.

“Enough to cover the bruise if nothing else,” M’gann continued.

Jamie looked back and forth between them.

“You really won't tell anyone?”

There was no way Maggie would be able to rescue her again.

Vasquez's jaw flexed.

“We promise.”

Jamie took a deep breath. She was already constantly on edge, and if makeup could help keep people from recognizing her…

She nodded.

“Okay. Just enough to cover the bruise, though.”

Vasquez smiled again, then stood to let M’gann take her seat.

“Just turn a little more towards me,” M’gann said as she started to dig through her purse.

* * *

 

J’onn looked from Lucy, to the teenage girl next to her, to the blonde girl standing between them.

None of them had spoken to him since Lucy had first asked if she could enter, but the older girls seemed to be arguing without speaking.

The blonde was staring at him.

He stared back.

She was familiar.

So very familiar.

He looked back to the older girls and cleared his throat. They both turned to him.

“Would one of you like to tell me what you are here for?”

They looked back at each other, arguing in hushed whispers over who should talk.

The blonde stepped forward, hugging a drawing pad to her chest.

“My name’s Kara,” she said.

J’onn let out a breath. Of course.

Years of searching for these girls and they had both just walked into his office.

Kara continued.

“My sister, Alex, she’s been working for you, cleaning and stuff. Last week she stopped coming home.

He sucked in another breath through his nose. Alex had stopped showing up for her hours, and he had planned on looking into it if she hadn’t shown the next week, but he hadn’t thought she had vanished.

“I thought she was with Maggie, but Maggie says she wasn’t.”

He glanced up at the girl he didn’t know. Her jaw was set, her fists were clenched at her side.

“Then,” Kara pushed, “I found this note on one of my drawings.”

She held out the drawing pad.

J’onn leaned across the desk to take it. He briefly looked over the drawing, long enough to know that Alex had been right about Kara’s skill, then read the note.

_ Supergirl _ __   
_ If you need someone, go to NCSA, find Director J’onzz. He knew our parents. _ __   
_ Love you, _ _   
_ __ Alex

J’onn closed his eyes.

Alex had recognized him.

He had thought so, but hadn’t wanted to risk angering her further until he had figured everything out, until he had at least gotten that social worker to give him a meeting.

He opened his eyes to Kara staring up at him.

“Was she right?” she asked. “You knew our parents?”

J’onn nodded. “I did. For many years.”

He could see the questions in Kara’s eyes. He could answer them later.

“You said that Alex hasn’t come home?” he asked before she could speak again.

She shook her head. “And she hasn’t been anywhere we’ve looked.”

“She told me she came from Midvale,” Lucy spoke up. “If you knew her parents, do you know anywhere there she might have gone?”

Lucy had questions, too.

“Her parent’s house should have been left to her, but I don’t know if anything has happened to it.”

“She’s gunna sell it, once she turns eighteen,” Kara said. “I heard her talking about it once. Mrs. Rhea told her it was the best thing to do.”

J’onn noted that for later. He had to find out what else Rhea might have told Alex, what else she might be manipulating.

“Alright,” he said. “I want you all to go home. I will drive to Midvale and see if she's there.”

“No.”

He looked to Maggie. She had stepped forward, her face hard.

“I don't care if you use to know Alex’s parents, you don't know  _ her _ ,” she said. “If you go, she'll run again. She might at least talk to me.”

“To us,” Lucy cut in, stepping forward as well.

“Lucy…” J’onn started.

“With respect, sir,” she pushed forward.  “There is no real way for you to stop us, and if you try, I promise, we will right behind you anyway. If you let us go instead, we can check in on a regular basis.  We aren’t leaving the state; it’s only a few hours away and we can be back by tomorrow night.”

“It’s a nine hour drive,” he said.

“I drove cross country with my father over the summer,” Lucy said.  “I can manage nine hours.”

J’onn crossed his arms. “And when your parents come to me about it?”

Lucy raised her chin. “My father is on base tonight. As long as we’re back tomorrow by curfew, he won’t notice.”

He looked to Maggie.  She swallowed, fidgeted slightly.

“My parents won't be a problem,” she said.

He watched her for another moment before turning to Lucy.

“What if she isn’t there, and you don’t have anywhere to stay for the night?”

Lucy shrugged. “We’re teenagers doing something stupid.  We’ll figure it out.”

J’onn rubbed his temple. He leaned forward, opening a drawer on his desk.

“I hope you understand the position you are putting me in,” he said as he pulled out a notebook. “Asking that I condone a couple of teenagers driving a few hundred miles upstate, staying out overnight, and unaccompanied?” He quickly wrote a few lines on a page, and tore it out at the perforations. He held it out to Lucy. “Do not make me regret this.”

She nodded as she took the paper.

“That’s the Danvers’ address...”

Lucy’s eyes widened slightly.

“...as well as my cell phone number,” he told her. “I want you to call me every thirty minutes while you’re on the road, when you get there, and when you leave. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir,” Lucy replied.

“Are we leaving now?” Kara asked.

J’onn didn’t even get his mouth open before both girls were telling Kara she wasn’t going. He hid his smirk as Kara protested.

“Why not? She’s my sister!”

“And you’re nine,” Maggie told her.

“So?”

“They might not care if Alex doesn’t come home, but your fosters will care if you don’t.”

“So?”

Maggie sighed. “We will all get into a lot of trouble if you come with us. Including Alex.”

Kara glared at her, arms crossed, brow furrowed. Maggie stared back.

It was just a few moments before Kara huffed.

“Fine.”

“We’ll drop you off before we leave,” Maggie told her. “And bring her right there when we’re back.”

“Fine.”

Maggie smiled and ruffled some of Kara’s hair, only to have her hand pushed away.

“We should get going,” Lucy said. “I’ll meet you in the hallway?”

Maggie watched her for a moment, then nodded and herded Kara out.

J’onn watched Lucy as she watched the other two leave. She stared at the closed door for a moment before turning to him.

“Danvers?”

J’onn nodded.

“ _ The  _ Danvers?”

He nodded again.

Lucy nodded absently, brushing some of her hair back as she glanced around his office.

“Lucy?”

She looked to him.

“Ask her about it when you find her, if you need to, but be gentle.”

Lucy nodded. “Okay.”

He looked to the door, nodding towards it.

“You should be going if you don't want to be driving all night.”

She nodded again. “Right.”

She walked to the door.

“And, Lucy?”

She looked back.

“Please be careful.”

“We will be.”

She left, leaving J’onn alone in his office.

He stared at the door, in partial disbelief at what he was allowing.

Letting two teenagers drive nine hours, without supervision, without parental permission? He could be fired for that.

But Maggie had been right.

He had watched Alex the past weeks.

She was angry, resentful, defensive.

Slow to trust.

That was why he hadn’t spoken to her about her parents, about knowing her. He hadn’t wanted to risk her running off until he could offer something more.

J’onn walked to one of his bookcases.  He picked up the picture of him and Jeremiah Danvers, the one Alex had zeroed in on during the meeting Lucy had convinced him to let them partner.

He had watched Alex slowly trust Lucy, get Lucy to trust her.

He had watched her begin to open up to Lucy’s friends.

He looked at the picture as he made his way back to his desk.

Eight years.

Eight years since he had lost some of his closest friends.

Eight years since he had arrived in Midvale to find them already buried and their daughters lost to the foster system.

He sat, putting the picture down, and pulled a file from a desk drawer.

He flipped it open, eyes skating over the copy of his most recent authorization to be a foster parent, then looking to the picture taped to the inside of the front of the file.

Five year old Alex copying the dance pose he was showing her.

Eight years and they had found him before he had found them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos :)


	13. No Matter How Hard it Gets (no regrets)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Road trip

Lucy tapped her thumb on the steering wheel. She looked to the side, out her window, then forward out the windshield. She looked out the passenger's window, at Alex’s house.

Maggie had taken Kara inside a few minutes ago, insisting on doing so when they realized the foster parents were gone and the baby sitter there.

Lucy looked in her rear view mirror, catching sight of Jamie.

The girl was looking at herself in the mirror M’gann had given her, inspecting the makeup on her bruise.

“M’gann did a good job, kid,” Lucy said.

Jamie looked up at her. Her eyes were large, dark.

“Yeah?” she asked.

Lucy nodded, grinned at her through the mirror.

Jamie smiled back at her.

* * *

Kara’s room was vastly different from Alex’s.

Decorated. Personalized.

It felt lived in.

Maggie inspected some drawings taped to the wall by the door, as Kara rifled through some of her drawings at her desk. Maggie traced a finger over the curve of a wave in a beach scene.  A single surfer sat on her board.

“I need you to give this to Alex.”

Maggie turned as Kara spoke. The girl was holding a blue folder to her chest.

“Promise me,” Kara continued.

“I promise,” Maggie said.

Kara slowly held the folder out, waiting a moment after Maggie took it before letting go.

“And please bring her home.”

Maggie nodded. “I’ll do my best, kid.”

Kara held out a fist with her pinkie raised. “Promise.”

Maggie hooked their pinkies together. “Promise.”

Kara gave a sharp nod.

“And you promise to not tell anyone, right?”

Kara nodded again.

“Okay, I’ll come by tomorrow, whether I find her or not.”

“Okay.”

Kara’s arms were wrapped around her before Maggie could process the movement.

“Love you, Maggie.”

Maggie sucked in a breath. She bent down to hug Kara back.

“I love you, too, Kara.”

She pulled back a moment later.

“And tell Alex I love her?” Kara asked.

“Of course.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Maggie left the room before Kara could say anything else. She held the folder tight as she made her way through the house. She nodded to Lena as she passed the kitchen. Lena nodded back before going back to helping Winn with his homework.

Maggie kept her head down as she walked to the jeep, and quickly slid inside.

“Alright,” she said, cutting of the conversation between Jamie and Lucy. “Let’s go.”

“What’s that?” Lucy asked.

“Something Kara wants Alex to have,” Maggie answered.

Lucy hummed. She grabbed her phone from the center console.

“What are you doing?” Maggie asked.

“Calling Director J’onzz, like he said to,” Lucy answered.

Maggie rolled her eyes. She slumped down in her seat, looking at the folder.

Kara had drawn two designs on the cover - two yellow W’s, one nestled inside the other, and a red S in a polygon outlined in yellow.

Maggie traced a finger around the designs, then slid the folder between her seat and the center console. She looked around the jeep instead as Lucy spoke on the phone.

2004 Jeep Wrangler.

No exterior damage from what she had seen.

Clean interior.

She shifted slightly to see the mileage. A decent amount, but not too much. The cross-country trip she had told J’onzz about had probably been in this jeep.

The money Maggie could get for it.

Luther would either wet himself or cum in his pants if she drove up in this.

Lucy snapped her phone shut and put it in one of the cup holders. She opened the center console and pulled a GPS out.

“Can you put the address in this?” she asked Maggie as she passed it over.

Maggie nodded. She plugged the device into the cigarette lighter, and waited for it to boot up.

Lucy started to drive out of the neighborhood.

“Where is Midvale?” Maggie asked.

“Up north,” Lucy answered. “It’s a small town on the ocean.”

Maggie hummed. The GPS powered up and she started to navigate through the menu.

“It used to be a destination of sorts for a lot of dancers,” Lucy continued. “There’s a famous dance school up there, and a decent amount of dancers have moved there after retiring.”

“Like Alex’s parents?”

Lucy’s fingers twisted around the wheel, around the gear stick. “From what I know, the Danvers were from Midvale. They helped found the school.”

“How’d you know about Alex’s family?” Jamie asked, leaning forward between their seats.

Maggie went to push her back, then froze. She dropped her hand into her lap and looked at Jamie.

“Sit, please,” she said.

Jamie rolled her eyes, but did.

“And put your buckle back on,” Maggie added as she went back to putting the address into the GPS.

“The Danvers were pretty well known in the dance community,” she said. “I still remember when news came that they’d died.”

“I’m sure Alex does too,” Maggie muttered.

Lucy tensed. Her knuckles turned white on the gear stick before she shifted gears to stop for a red light.

Maggie stared at the GPS as it loaded the route.

It was going to be a long ride.

* * *

“You two want to stop for food, or go through a drive-through?” Lucy asked.

Jamie bounced forward.

“Can we get Ihop?” she asked.

Maggie twisted around and glared at her. “Could you stay seated? And, no. No Ihop. We're doing a drive through.”

“Why?”

“It's not safe. To both.”

Jamie huffed.

“Looks like we've got McDonalds, In-N-Out, or  Taco Bell,” Lucy said as they passed a sign.

“In-N-Out,” Maggie and Jamie said together.

* * *

Jamie scooted closer to the side of the jeep. She held the book she was reading higher, closer to the window, catching a few words with each passing street lamp.

She sighed after a few tries. She closed the book and tossed it onto the other seat.

She leaned her head against the window, feeling the slight give of the soft top. A soft clicking sounded through the jeep, then Lucy merged into a turn lane.

Jamie watched the guardrail on the side of the road as they circled the on-ramp.

_ Follow road for two hundred and three miles. _

Jamie sighed. She was sick of being in a car.

Maggie laughed. “Problem back there?”

Jamie kicked the back of her seat. ”Crap, do you have toll money?”

“I should. Open the glove box.”

Maggie did. She eyed the neat collection of papers folded under a couple of books, the chapstick and sunglasses tucked in one corner.

“In the user manual, there should be a twenty tucked somewhere in there somewhere.”

Maggie grabbed the manual and flipped through it until she found the bill. She pulled it out and passed it over.

“Thanks.”

* * *

The rest area was empty except for a minivan beneath another lamppost. The full moon was large enough that the lamps were almost unnecessary.

Lucy lingered in the entrance to the vending area, arms full of food, and watched Maggie.

She was sitting on one of the picnic tables partway between the building and the car. Her arms were tight around her waist.

Lucy took a deep breath and walked towards her. She put the soda bottles on the table and sat so they were between her and Maggie.

“Jamie still asleep?” she asked.

Maggie nodded, taking the chips Lucy handed her.

“Once she's out in a car, she's out,” she said.

“Lucky her,” Lucy said. “I can never fall asleep in a car.”

Maggie hummed, opening the chips. “When she was a baby and our mom couldn't get her to calm down, she'd put her in the car and drive until she fell asleep. She sometimes has problems staying awake in a car now.”

Lucy nodded, opening her own chips.

“So, how do you two know Alex?” She stared at her chips, even as she saw Maggie move out of the corner of her eye.

Maggie ate a chip, and another. “We met about a year and a half ago, I think. Jamie and I had been in National City for a few months, and Alex and Kara were moved into Fred and Edna’s.” She opened one of the Cokes and took a drink. “I don't actually remember how we met. We were kinda just friends one day.”

Lucy took a drink of her soda.

Maggie let out a sardonic laugh. “Some friend, couldn't even tell me she’d started dating you, or even give me a reason why she stopped fucking me.”

Oh.

Maggie froze. She turned to look at Lucy. Her eyes wide.

“I probably shouldn’t have told you that.”

Lucy looked down at her lap and shrugged. “I had broken up with my boyfriend only a week before Alex and I got together.”

“We weren’t dating,” Maggie said. “We were just fucking, you know?”

“Did you want to date her?”

Maggie gave her an odd look. “Why?”

Lucy shrugged again. “I don’t know. If you did, maybe you should talk to her about it.”

“And what about you?”

“What about me?”

“I was there, when you dumped her, and it didn’t really look like you wanted to.”

Lucy sighed. “I didn’t.”

“Then why?”

“My dad.”

Understanding crossed Maggie’s face.

“He found out that I’m bi, and…” Lucy gave her a wry smile. “It’s just best if I pretend I’m not.”

Maggie raised her soda bottle. “Fuck homophobic dads.”

Lucy laughed, and tapped her bottle against Maggie’s.

“But, you know,” Maggie continued. “You wouldn’t be the first kid to hide a relationship, and he hasn’t kicked you out so…”

Lucy took a long drink of soda. “Is...Is that why you’re out here?”

Maggie ducked her head. “Yeah, then Jamie ran away to join me.”

“I’m sorry.”

Maggie shrugged. “It’s whatever.” She balled up her empty chip bag. “We should probably get back on the road.”

She stood and walked to the car, throwing her trash in a can on the way.

Lucy sighed before following. When she climbed into the car, Maggie was curled up in her seat, facing away from the driver’s seat.

* * *

“I spy...something beginning with the letter...T.”

“Is it a tree?”

Maggie sighed. “Yes.”

Lucy flicked her brights off as the headlights of another car appeared around a bend. “Okay. I spy something...green and brown.”

“A tree?”

“Yup.”

“Alright. I spy…”

“Tree?”

“Are you purposefully recreating that scene from  _ Brother Bear _ ?”

Lucy laughed. “In my defense, you recognized it as the scene from  _ Brother Bear _ .”

“Yeah, well, Jamie loves that movie.”

The approaching car passed them. Lucy turned her brights back on.

* * *

_ You are approaching your destination on the right. _

Lucy slowed the car, leaning forward to look up the slight hill at the house.

Maggie let out a low whistle. “Damn.”

Lucy nodded in agreement, then leaned back. “Alright, let’s do this.”

She turned the car into the driveway, slowly making her way up and parking

Maggie turned to make sure Jamie was still asleep before climbing out. Lucy quickly joined her.

They walked up the front path together. Maggie peeked through the windows as Lucy knocked on the door.

“There’s a light on in there,” Maggie said.

“So she’s here.”

“Or there’re squatters.”

Lucy rolled her eyes as she knocked again. A minute passed without an answer. “She’s probably asleep.”

“Even if she is, Alex is a light sleeper.” Maggie stepped back, looking up at the house. “Let’s check around back.”

Lucy followed, staying a few steps behind as Maggie peered through and tested every window. They slipped past some hedges and...

“Wow.”

Lucy nodded in agreement.

The backyard was massive. The grass led to a small cliff, which seemed to provide just a small drop to the sand of the beach.

Maggie quickly went back to checking the windows, but Lucy took a few steps into the yard.

The moon was large, and low, and reflecting in the water.

A shift in the reflection caught Lucy’s attention. She squinted, took a few more steps forward.

“Maggie?”

“What?”

“I think I found her.”

She started walking without making sure Maggie as following.

By the time she reached the bottom of the stairs leading to the sand, she was sure there was someone in the water.

By the time she reached the water’s edge, she was sure it was Alex on a surfboard.

She went to call out, but Maggie stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

“Let her come in herself.”

Maggie pulled her back from the water a bit, to the dry sand, and they sat.

And they waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the comments and kudos :)


	14. It’s Your Loving (got me trapped)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonfires are the best place for heart to hearts

Alex stepped out of the water further down the beach than she normally would have. Her teeth chattered from the cold as she tucked her board under her arm.

Her dad’s board.

Her’s was too small for her.

Had almost been too small for her eight years ago.

Her dad had promised to get her a new one once they had gotten back from the festival in Germany.

Alex closed her eyes and shook her head against the memories. When she opened her eyes, she looked to the people sitting on the sand by her house. The moon just barely lit them up, let her know that they were watching her, gave her a good idea of who they were.

She walked up the sand, to the rocky outcrop that had felt like a cliff years ago and separated the beach from the road for a good mile in either direction. She could climb up it and walk to the street.

It wouldn’t help her avoid them completely, but would give her time to think before she reached the house.

Or, she could go the other way down the street. Sure, she’d probably freeze, but it seemed worth it.

She lifted the board to the top of the outcrop.

“Alex!”

Great.

She started to climb. The rock was wet, yet sharp under her bare feet. She moved slow. Her head quickly cleared the top.

“Alex?”

She paused, took a deep breath, then pulled herself up and over the edge.

“Alex, please.”

She looked down. Maggie and Lucy were staring up at her.

Both of them. Together. And in Midvale for some fucked up reason.

She picked up her board.

For her.

She was the fucked up reason.

She started down the street, towards the house.

If they had come this far, might as well talk to them.

They might keep following her otherwise.

She walked on the white line on the edge of the road, one foot in front of the other.

They had to have gone to J’onn. Nobody else knew this address.

Which meant Kara had probably found the note and told them and was waiting.

Alex took a deep breath.

She turned into the driveway, pausing at the sight of Lucy’s jeep, then walked towards it. She glanced through a window as she passed. She stopped at the sight of someone curled up across the backseat. She stepped closer, pressing her face against the window.

“It’s not Kara,” Maggie said from behind her.

Alex turned enough to glance at her. Maggie’s face was hard, only barely softened by the moonlight. Alex’s stomach turned as she looked back at Jamie, curled up on her seat, face covered by her hood.

“Jamie? You found her?”

“Yeah.”

Alex nodded. “Good.”

She stepped away from the jeep, and turned to the house.

Lucy was standing between her and the door.

Alex sighed.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“To talk,” Lucy said.

“And if I don’t want to talk?”

Maggie groaned. “Can we talk about talking after getting Jamie inside to an actual bed?”

“Yeah,” Alex said.

She walked around Lucy, grabbed the key from where it was taped under a porch step, and unlocked the front door. She looked back once, to make sure Maggie didn't need help with Jamie, then pushed inside.

She ran a hand over the top of the sheet covered table next to the front door.

The house was cool, gas and electricity shut off years ago. She picked up the electric candle on the table, turning it on, and looking back again.

She barely saw the giant grin on Jamie's face before the girl threw her arms around Alex.

“Hey,” Alex said. She wrapped her arms around Jamie.

“You're an idiot,”Jamie mumbled into her shoulder.

“She is,” Maggie agreed. “But let me yell at her, you need to get to bed.”

Jamie grumbled as she pulled back. Maggie wrapped an arm around Jamie's shoulders and pulled her to her side.

“You can have my bed,” Alex told Jamie.

It was the only one with sheets on it.

And blankets. A lot of blankets.

She led them through the kitchen, up the stairs, and down the hall. She pushed her door open, then waited in the hallway with Lucy as Maggie shepherded Jamie inside.

Alex kept her head down, her eyes on the floor.

Soft murmurs came from the room as Maggie and Jamie spoke.

Shuffling came from down the hallway as Lucy moved about.

Alex glanced over for a moment, watching Lucy go from one picture hung on the wall to the next before looking back at the floor.

There was no way Lucy didn’t know who her parents were now.

There was no way Alex wanted to talk about it.

The door to her room closed. Alex looked up at Maggie, then looked back down.

“There’s a fire pit out back, we can throw a log in and talk out there,” she suggested.

“Maybe you should put dry clothes on first?” Maggie asked.

Alex looked at herself, her dripping board shorts and tank top, and was reminded how cold she actually was.

“Right. Well, Jamie’s asleep in my room, so…”

Maggie sighed. She went back into the room and came out a few moments later, throwing dry clothes at Alex.

“You need a room to change, or does it not matter cause we’ve both see you naked?”

Alex stared at her with wide eyes, glanced over to an equally wide eyed Lucy every few seconds.

“No, we didn’t...we never…”

She dropped her head.

Great.

“Whatever,” Maggie said, walking off.

Alex stared at the floor.

“I’ll go get the fire started,” Lucy said before walking off as well.

Alex fell back against the wall and groaned.

Fucking great.

* * *

“You sure you know how to do that?”

Lucy closed her eyes, let out a deep breath. “Yes,” she said. “I know how to do it.”

She ignored Maggie’s muttering as she leaned close to the fire pit. She pulled her lighter from her pocket, and used it to lite up the tinder. She watched as the flame slowly grew, as the kindling caught.

She scooted away from the pit, leaning back against a log set up as a bench. She stared across the growing fire at Maggie.

She was staring up at the cloudless sky. The fire made her skin glow gold, her eyes sparkle.

“I’m sorry.”

Maggie looked at her. “For what?”

“If I’d known about you and Alex…”

“Like I said,” Maggie cut her off. “We were just fucking.”

Lucy looked back at the fire. She leaned forward to toss a log in.

“It just,” she slowly said. “It seems like there might be more there.”

“Even if there is, you’re the one she actually dated.”

Lucy chewed on her lip, mind starting to race.

* * *

Alex hovered in the doorway.

She watched Maggie and Lucy as they sat on opposite sides of the fire. Her feet itched to turn and run.

They shouldn’t have come after her. They should have let her go.

They would have gotten over it. Kara would have gotten over it.

“Alex?”

Well, no chance to run anymore.

Not with both of them watching her.

She closed the door as she stepped outside.

“So, uh, how’re you two?” she asked as she walked towards the fire.

“Oh, just fine,” Maggie said. “How’re you?”

Alex flinched away from her tone. “Feeling like I should be apologizing.”

“You better do more than apologize.”

Alex ran a hand through her hair.

“Maggie…”

“No. You left.” Maggie stood. “And I’m not talking about me, or Lucy. You left Kara.”

Alex wrapped her arms around her waist, looked past the fire, up at the sky.

“She’s terrified something happened to you, destroyed that you left her, and you’re, what? Surfing?”

Alex took a step back. She dug her fingers into her sides, trying to ground herself and keep from running.

“I never took you for selfish,” Maggie continued. “But here we are.”

“It’s not like that,” Alex murmured.

Maggie scoffed. She started to walk towards Alex. “How? Huh? How is it not like that? Cause from where I’m standing, you got your feelings hurt by a pretty girl and decided that was it.”

Alex glanced at Lucy. She was curled in on herself, staring at the fire.

Maggie stepped up in front of Alex.

“You’re a fucking asshole, Alex Danvers,” she growled.

Alex closed her eyes. She nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah, I am an assshole, but the way I figure, you’re all better off without me.”

“The fuck does that mean?”

Alex opened her eyes. Anger rose up her chest. She let her arms drop to her sides, and stepped towards Maggie.

“It means exactly what it sounds like. There is not a single person who wouldn’t be better off without me.”

“You really believe that?” Maggie asked. “What about me and Jamie? What about all the times you gave us a place to stay?”

“You would have figured something out. I mean, you found her just fine without me.”

“And what about Kara, huh?”

Alex blinked away the tears starting to pool in her eyes.

“Without me, Kara would have been adopted years ago. The only reason she wasn’t is because I refused to be separated from her, and nobody wanted me.”

“Kara wants you.”

Alex shook her head. “Maybe, but she’ll be gone as soon as I graduate and age out anyway. Off to some nice family without me.” She laughed. “Might as well get it over with.”

“You think that’s what she wants?”

“It’s what she deserves!”

Maggie stepped back, eyes wide.

Alex stepped forward, gesturing with her arms.

“She deserves better than to be held back by a sister who isn’t even her fucking sister. She deserves to have an actual family and parents who can send her to art school. She deserves to not be moved every year or so because I fucked up.”

“So, instead, you’re gunna leave her?”

“She doesn't need me.”

Maggie’s jaw clenched. Her mouth went thin. She nodded, looking above Alex. 

“Okay.”

She stalked off.

Alex stared at the ground, listened to the gate slam. She slowly looked up.

Lucy was watching her.

“You want to yell at me too? Alex asked.

Lucy shook her head. “No, just…” She sighed. “You’re wrong.”

Alex laughed. “Great, thanks.”

“There are a lot of people who care about you. Maggie and I wouldn’t have driven up here if we didn’t care about you.”

Alex shook her head.

“We aren’t worse off for knowing you.”

“Without me, your dad wouldn’t know you’re bi.”

Lucy tilted her head down. She chewed at her lip for a moment, then nodded.

“Maybe, but it’s not like you meant for it to happen.”

Alex swallowed.

“I don’t blame you for it.”

The gate opened, pulling Alex’s attention to Maggie walking back towards her.

“Here,” she said, thrusting something into Alex’s hands.

Alex looked down, inspecting it.

One of the folders Kara carried around.

“Kara wanted you to have this.”

Alex stared at it as she moved towards the fire. She sat in the grass, one side to the fire, and opened the folder.

Drawings.

A story.

A comic book.

Wonder Woman and Supergirl.

Her and Kara.

“She thinks the fucking world of you,” Maggie said. “And if you really leave her, if you  _ choose  _ to leave her, she will never get over it, will never forgive you.”

Alex read through a few pages. Read as Wonder Woman helped Supergirl learn to control her powers, as the training was interrupted by a villain clearly based on their last foster father. She flipped past the battle scenes, until she found a full page drawing of the two heroes flying together.

“What am I supposed to do?” She looked up at Maggie. “They’re going to take her from me anyway.”

“Fight for her. At the very least show her you will fight for her.”

Alex closed the folder after a tear fell onto the drawing, making the ink of Supergirl’s cape run.

Maggie sat next to her. She wrapped an arm around Alex’s shoulders.

“I’m an idiot,” Alex said.

“Yeah, but you can fix this. We can fix this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two chapters left!
> 
> Big thanks for all the comments and kudos :)


	15. You Bring Me Back (everytime i try to leave)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Road Trip redux

Alex slid a granola bar across the counter separating the kitchen from the dining room. Jamie, sitting on the other side, took it.

Alex grinned as she watched Jamie open the bar.

“Alright,” she said. “I’ve got Gatorade or Snapple, both room temperature.”

Jamie wrinkled her nose. “Gatorade, I guess.”

“One Gatorade for the lady, coming right up.”

Jamie rolled her eyes at Alex’s theatrics, but grinned and took the bottle tossed to her. Her grin faded, and she stared at Alex as she fiddled with the bottle cap.

Alex raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“You’re an idiot.”

Alex gave her an unimpressed look. “I’ve been told.”

“Cause it’s true,” Jamie said.

Alex sighed. “I know.”

“Good.” Jamie took a sip. “And I know Maggie, and I know she’s going to make it all about you leaving Kara, but you hurt her too. You were the first person since we first left our family who was there for us. Like, really there for us. Then you weren’t.”

She shrugged. Alex swallowed against the growing lump in her throat. She stared down at the counter, trailed a finger along the edge.

“She regretted whatever is was you fought about before she even got to me. Whatever you did before, it hurt her, but you leaving hurt her even more.”

Alex looked up to see Jamie turning away.

“Jamie?”

She turned back, face carefully blank.

“I’m sorry,” Alex said.

Jamie nodded, then turned and left.

Alex sighed. She slumped against the counter.

There probably wasn’t a single person not pissed at her.

She walked towards the window facing the driveway to watch Jamie lean against the jeep. Jamie watched Maggie for a few moments before Maggie realized her sister had joined her.

Alex smiled at Maggie fussing over Jamie, at Jamie pretending to push Maggie away, but letting her fuss.

A thud from further in the house pulled her attention.

She left the kitchen, walked past the dining room, and found Lucy in the living room trying to rehang a picture.

Alex watched for a moment as Lucy struggled.

“Don’t bother,” she finally said.

Lucy jumped. She pulled the picture against her chest as she spun around.

“I didn’t mean to...I was just...It was…I’m sorry.”

Alex shrugged. “It’s fine.”

“No, really,” Lucy said. “It was crooked. I didn’t mean for it to fall.”

Alex took the picture from her. “It used to do that all the time,” she said. She stared at the picture of her and her dad on a surfboard. “Only mom could get it to hang, but it was always crooked.”

“Really?” Lucy asked.

“Really.”

Alex set the picture on the sheet covered couch.

“You never told me your parent were…” Lucy trailed off, looking away.

Alex shrugged again. “What would it have changed?”

“I...I don’t know.”

“My life here, with them, it was so long ago.” Alex ran a hand through her hair. “And, so far away. I try not to think about it most of the time.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

Alex nodded. Lucy would, at least a little.

“Maggie and Jamie are both waiting outside,” Alex said after a few moments of silence. “We should probably get going.”

“Yeah,” Lucy agreed.

She slipped past Alex, heading towards the kitchen and front door.

Alex closed her eyes, took a deep breath. She looked at the picture once more before following.

The others were settling in the jeep as she locked the front door.

She pressed her palm against the door, trapping the key between her skin and the wood.

Eight years since she had lived in that house.

Three months until she could sell it.

She jerked her hand back. The key fell to the porch.

Three months.

Three…

Three months.

Then she had to sell it.

She had to.

She bent down for the key and stuffed it into her pocket as she walked to the jeep.

She slid inside, her knees hitting the back of the driver’s seat.

“Why am I stuck in the back?” she asked as she buckled.

“Cause you’re the idiot who made us drive up here,” Maggie said.

“Are any of you going to stop calling me an idiot?” she asked.

“No,” all three of them answered at once.

“Great.”

* * *

Alex pressed her head against the window, staring at the trees zipping past.

“You really know how to surf?”

She shifted so she could look at Jamie and nodded.

“That’s really cool,”Jamie said.

Alex shrugged.

“Can you teach me?”

“You got a board?” Alex asked.

Jamie groaned. “Can’t we just, like, steal one?”

Alex chuckled at the protests coming from the front seat.

“Sorry, Jamie, but I don’t think that would be the best idea. Besides, could you imagine trying to steal a surfboard? Wouldn’t go so well.”

“Yeah, maybe not as easy as stealing cars.”

“Stealing cars?”

Fuck. Lucy.

* * *

Lucy groaned as she watched the payment total go up. This trip was going to eat into her savings so hard.

$2.59 a gallon was ridiculous. Better than some of the prices she had paid driving cross country in August, but still a stupid level of high.

“M&Ms or Kit-Kat?”

She looked to Alex, who was digging through the plastic bag in her hands.

“M&Ms” Lucy answered.

Alex nodded. “Cool, also got you one of those teas you like.”

“Thanks.”

Alex hummed in response before climbing into the car.

Lucy fell back against her jeep and watched the numbers climb.

* * *

 

Alex passed the soda and candy she had gotten for Maggie up to the front. She tossed Lucy’s onto her seat, then put the bag with the rest on the seat between her and Jamie.

Jamie, who was passed out, head back against the seat, mouth hanging open. Her hood had fallen slightly, showing her buzzed hair. Her bruise was just starting to fade.

Alex shifted forward, moving up between the front seats.

“Maggie?”

Maggie hummed, staring down at her soda.

Alex took a deep breath.

“I saw Lord, before I ran. I was…I was looking for you, went to see if Luthor knew anything, and Lord stopped me, told me what he did, how he went to the police.”

Maggie turned to her, eyes wide. “It was Lord?”

Alex nodded. She watched the anger rise in Maggie, only to deflate.

“So we won’t really be safe in National City.”

“You can avoid Lord, and I’ll help you, if you want, but…” Alex took another deep breath. “I should have been there for you, with you, to get her back.”

Maggie shook her head.

“You fucked up with a lot recently,” she said. “But that’s not your fault. I walked away from you, and, yeah, I had my reasons, but you had no way of helping after that point.”

Alex glanced back at Jamie.

“Still,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

Lucy opened her door and slid inside.

Alex scooted back, sitting properly in her seat, and stared out the window.

* * *

 

Maggie turned, looking over her shoulder to the backseat. She couldn’t help but smile.

Alex was pressed against the side of the jeep, her arm wrapped around Jamie, who was leaning on her. Both fast asleep.

“They’re adorable,” she said.

Lucy laughed lightly. “My phone has a camera, if you want to…”

“Oh, I want to.”

* * *

Alex put the tray of food on the table before sliding into the bench next to Lucy.

Jamie lifted her head off of her folded arms to grab her burger and fries. Alex passed Maggie her grilled cheese and milkshake before taking her own food and sliding the tray towards Lucy.

“We’re just over halfway home,” Lucy said before sticking a few fries in her mouth. “And with San Francisco behind us, traffic hopefully won't be too bad.”

“Will we be back before dark?” Maggie asked.

Lucy shrugged. “Maybe? Probably not, though. Sunset’s too early.”

Maggie nodded. She took a bite of her sandwich, the pulled her milkshake out of Jamie’s reach as she tried to dip her fries inside.

“And we’re going right to Kara,” Maggie said, giving Alex a pointed look.

“And I’ll beg for an apology,” Alex said. “I know.”

“How d’you think Fred and Edna are gunna react to you being gone?” Maggie asked.

“Other than pissed that I came back?” Alex shrugged. “Probably won’t react much, honestly.”

“Are they really that bad?” Lucy asked.

Alex glanced at her, then down at her food. “Not really, or, at least, they’re better than some of the other people we’ve been put with.”

Lucy stared at Alex, not wanting to think about what would be worse than what she had heard of Alex’s current home.

An awkward silence settled over the table.

Alex clenched her fist against her thigh.

“So,” Jamie drawled. “Are you two going to get back together?”

Alex choked on a fry. Lucy and Maggie both froze.

“What?” Alex forced out.

“Well, Maggie said you two were dating, but broke up, but you’re here, Lucy, so you still like her right?” Jamie smirked, looking between the three of them. “Or, are you finally going to actually ask her on a date, Maggie?”

Heat rose up Alex’s neck. She looked between Lucy and Maggie, then grabbed her food, stood, and walked out.

Maggie turned to glare at Jamie.

“What the fuck?” she growled.

“What?” Jamie asked.

Maggie rolled her eyes before chasing after Alex.

Jamie gave Lucy a sheepish look.

“Well, kid,” Lucy sighed, “way to make the next four hours awkward as fuck.”

Jamie sunk back into her seat. “Sorry.”

* * *

The moon shone through the rear window, sending a silver glow across the front seats.

Alex watched as a minute ticked past on the clock, and another.

She gently lifted Jamie off of her, and leaned her against the jeep door. She curled up in her seat, staring at the side of Maggie’s face.

Alex sighed.

“I want you two to know,” she started, “that I don’t expect anything from either of you because of this.”

Maggie turned slightly, to watch her.

“What Jamie said…” Alex trailed off. “I treated both of you like shit, and you came after me, and that’s more than I deserve. If this is the last you want of me, I...I get it.”

Maggie looked at Lucy, then turned further towards Alex.

“Could you stop being some self sacrificing asshole for one day?” she asked.

Alex blinked at her. “What?”

“I can’t speak for Lucy, but I’m not going anywhere if I can help it.” She turned forwards, looking out the windshield. “I won’t lie, it hurt when I found out you were dating someone and hadn’t told me.”

“I didn’t know how to tell you,” Alex said before Maggie continued.

Maggie closed her mouth and turned back to look at Alex.

“What? Why? We said, right from the beginning, that if either of us met someone we wanted to date, that it was fine, we would stop.”

Alex shrugged. She stared out Jamie’s window.

“Then I realized I wanted to date you,” Alex said. “But you were the one who suggested the whole just sex thing, so I didn’t want to risk our friendship.”

She glanced at Maggie, taking in the way her eyes glinted in the moonlight, then looked back to the window.

“Then I met Lucy, and I like her too, but I didn’t stop liking you, and I started to like you both the same way, and I was just so confused.” She tipped her head back, staring at the ceiling right above her. “I’m still so confused.”

No response came from the front. She glanced up to see Maggie turned away, staring out her window.

* * *

 

Lucy watched as Alex and Maggie leaned against each other while sitting on a picnic table.

They were just over an hour from National City. The moon was high in the sky, smaller than the night before, but still looking just as full.

Jamie was still asleep, had been since they had stopped for dinner.

Lucy took a deep breath as she started to walk from the vending area.

She had been thinking hard since Alex and Maggie’s conversation had ended.

She liked Alex. Alex liked her.

Maggie liked Alex. Alex liked Maggie.

She could step aside. She could let them get together. She could focus on her dance, on her studies.

She could do what her father would want her to do. She could keep pretending she was straight.

Or…

She was Lucy Lane, and she was done with doing what people thought she should do.

She stopped in front of them, handing over the bags of chips in her hands.

“This might sound weird,” she said. “But, it’s an idea.”

They both watched her, just holding the bags.

Lucy took a breath.

“Some of my friends, three of them, they’re all dating each other.”

Maggie’s eyebrows raised. Alex looked confused.

“They call it polyamory,” Lucy pushed forward. “And I’m not saying we have to do exactly what they’re doing but…” She shrugged. “I like you, Alex. I’m sorry about freaking and breaking up with you. My dad got in my head and scared the shit out of me.”

Alex watched her with wide eyes.

Maggie was shrinking into herself.

“If you want to move on, I get it, I totally get it. You deserve better that how I treated you. And, if you’d rather be with Maggie, I get that too. But, maybe we could figure out a way for it to be the three of us?”

They both blinked at her.

“I mean,” she pushed forward. “We don’t have to. It’s just an option.”

“I don’t know you near well enough to date,” Maggie said.

Lucy nodded. “Totally get that, and I agree, honestly. But…” she took a deep breath. “If we both date Alex?”

She waited, watched as they processed the idea.

Alex stared at the bag in her hands.

Maggie watched Alex, occasionally glancing at Lucy.

Lucy shoved her fists into her pockets. She kept her breathing steady, ready for Alex to reject the idea, reject her.

She fought against her shoulders starting to rise, her back starting to curve as her ribcage tried to cave in.

When Alex looked up at her, she was finally able to suck a breath in, only for it the catch as she waited for Alex to speak.

Alex stared at her for a moment before looking to Maggie.

“What do you think?”

Maggie blinked before slowly answering. “I don’t object,” she said. “I mean, is it what you want?”

Alex looked back and forth between them. “I don’t know,” she said. “I just know I don’t want to lose either of you.”

“So, we try it?” Maggie asked.

Alex smiled. “I guess, yeah.”

Lucy let out a shaky breath. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Lucy nodded. “Cool.”

She glanced over at the jeep.

“We should probably talk more specifics while on the road.” She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “I really just wanted this part figured out when we could actually all look at each other.”

They both slid off of the table.

“That’s probably a good idea,” Alex said. “But, first, can I, uh…”

She trailed off, ducking her head and tucking some loose hair behind her ear. She looked up at them without raising her head.

“Can I kiss you? Both of you?”

Lucy looked at Maggie.

Maggie was staring at Alex with wide eyes. She turned to Lucy, who shrugged.

“I’m fine with it if you are,” Lucy said.

Maggie nodded.

Alex grinned.

She pulled Lucy to her first.

Lucy closed her eyes and smiled into the kiss.

Alex’s lips were warm, just slightly chapped. She kept the kiss chaste, pulling back after just a moment.

Lucy looked up at her.

It was stupid, how enchanting she looked in the yellow light from the nearby lamppost.

They both turned to Maggie.

Lucy's stomach clenched, ready for Maggie to decide she didn't want to try, but Maggie’s eyes were wide, her expression open, almost hopeful.

Alex cupped Maggie’s face, fingers curling around her jaw, thumb rubbing her cheek. She pulled Maggie, in, up, and kissed her.

A twinge of jealousy made Lucy’s stomach clench, but she did her best to push it down.

She watched their smiles, watched Maggie’s hand come up to hold onto Alex’s arm. She watched as they pulled apart and just stared at each other.

“Wow.”

She didn’t know which one of them said it. Her chest clenched.

Then Alex was smiling at her, and she could breathe again.

Yeah, she could do this.

She grinned at Alex.

At Maggie.

“You ready to go now, Casanova?” Lucy asked.

Alex raised an eyebrow and laughed.

“Yeah, I am.”

Lucy held her hand out. Alex took it a she took Maggie’s with her other hand. Lucy laughed as she started toward the jeep, pulling the others behind her.

* * *

Alex stared out the window as Lucy pulled the jeep to the curb across the street from her foster home. The driveway was empty.

“You’re going in there,” Maggie said.

Alex sighed. “I know.”

She went to open the door, but paused.

“What if she hates me?”

“She won’t,” Maggie said.

Alex took a deep breath. “What are you and Jamie going to do tonight?”

“We’ll figure something out,” Maggie said.

“I might know a friend who would let you crash at her place,” Lucy said.

“Really?” Maggie asked.

“Mm-hm. She’s in town for a bit with her band. She’s got a hotel room further uptown.”

“Erin?” Alex asked.

Lucy nodded. “I’ll have to talk to M’gann or Vas first, but I’m sure Erin’ll go for it, and, if she doesn’t, I’m sure one of them will be able to talk their parents into it.”

“Okay,” Alex said. “Just make sure you end up somewhere. If it comes down to it, come back here. Fred and Edna are probably going to be on high alert all night, but I’m sure I could sneak you two in if we need to.”

“Alright, now, no more stalling,” Maggie said. “Go beg your sister for forgiveness.”

“I’m going, I’m going.”

She started to push the door open, then pulled back. She shifted into the jeep, leaning between the front seats. She pressed a kiss to each of their cheeks then climbed out of the jeep before they could react.

She stood in the street, just staring at the house. She wrung her fingers around the strap of her bag, only just kept her grip from creasing Kara’s folder.

What if Kara really did hate her? What if she had fucked it all up?

“She isn’t out here, Alex,” Lucy said.

Alex rolled her eyes as she looked at the open window.

“I’m going,” she huffed.

She crossed the street in long strides, not stopping until she reached the door. She turned back to the car to see Lucy giving her a thumbs up as Maggie leaned across from the passenger’s seat to nod at her.

Alex took a deep breath, then turned back around and pushed through the door.

The house was quiet, dark. Soft light and murmurs came from the kitchen.

Alex glanced inside, holding a finger to her lips to keep Winn and Lena quiet.

“Kara upstairs?” she asked.

Lena nodded.

Winn stared at her with wide eyes, then grinned.

Alex made her way up the stairs. She stepped towards Kara’s room, then stopped when she noticed the light coming from under her own door. She pushed it open, slipped inside, and closed it as quietly as she could.

Kara was curled up on her bed.

Alex slid her bag off of her shoulder as she crossed the room, setting it on the floor and using her foot to push it under the bed. She sat on the edge of her mattress, putting the folder on the foot of the bed.

She gently shook Kara’s shoulder, whispered her name.

Kara mumbled under her breath. She crinkled her nose, her brow, and burrowed further into the blanket.

Alex laughed. “Kara, wake up.”

“Don’t wanna, Alex.”

Kara tensed. She opened one eye.

“Hey, Supergirl.”

Kara watched her for a moment, then turned over. Alex’s hand fell to the mattress.

Alex sucked in a breath against the tightness in her chest.

“Kara?”

“You left.”

Alex breathed out. “I know, but I’m back.”

“You  _ left. _ ”

Alex hesitantly put her hand back on Kara’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry.”

Kara turned her head to look at Alex.

“Why’d you leave?”

Alex reached up to thread a few fingers through Kara’s hair.

“Cause I’m an idiot.”

Kara huffed as she flopped back onto her back. “You’re a big stupid idiot.”

“I know.”

“Are you leaving again?”

Alex swallowed. She was going to age out of the system. They were going to take Kara from her.

She couldn’t lie to Kara.

“You know I turn eighteen soon.”

Kara nodded. “You’re gunna age out.”

“Yeah.”

Alex pulled Kara up. She tucked Kara’s hair behind an hear, brushed it over her shoulder.

“Kara.” She sighed. “When that happens, you might get sent to another home, without me.”

Kara shook her head. Alex nodded.

“But, I promise, I will do everything I can to not leave you again.”

Kara held her pinkie out. Alex hooked hers around it.

They held their hands there for a moment, then Kara lunged forward, tackling Alex in a hug.

“I missed you.”

Alex squeezed Kara as tight as she could. She pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“I missed you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter left in the story proper!
> 
> Thank you for all for all of comments and kudos :)


	16. You Step Up (I’ll step up too)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Showcase

Alex watched J’onn talk on the phone for a moment before standing. She turned away from his desk and started to wonder around the office. She zeroed in on the bookshelf.

The picture of him and her father had been moved to the front.

She looked at the rest of the pictures, skimmed through the titles of the books, half listening to J’onn.

The weeks since Maggie and Lucy had dragged her back from Midvale had been a blur.

Edna had gotten her a note for school, after Alex had reminded her that they could get in trouble for not reporting Alex as missing.

She had gone back to helping Lucy with her showcase routine.

She had gone on a few dates with both Maggie and Lucy.

Erin’s band had decided to stay in National City for a bit, so Maggie and Jamie had basically moved in with Erin.

Alex and J’onn had actually talked about knowing each other.

J’onn had told her about trying to find her and Kara over the years, about his more recent attempts to get a meeting with Mrs. Rhea.

Alex had watched anger spark in his eyes when she told him about her plans to sell the house, to get a job after graduating instead of going to school. She had expected the anger to be directed at her, and was surprised when it was at Mrs. Rhea instead.

And, now, just weeks later, he was on the phone with his lawyer, hopefully getting news that would change everything.

Alex ran a finger along the spines of the books, then pulled one out at random.

_ Ballet and Modern Dance: A Concise History _

Alex flipped through the pages aimlessly, stopping every now and then to read a passage.

“Yes. Thank you.”

The phone clacked as J’onn put it back in the cradle.

Alex glanced at him. She put the book back, and made her way back to the chair. Her heart pounded in her ears. She pressed her fist against her thigh.

J’onn smiled.

“She has the papers ready for me to officially foster you and Kara.”

Alex let out a deep breath and slumped back in the chair.

“It seems,” he continued, “that Rhea may have been intentionally blocking all efforts for you two to be found or adopted.”

Alex blinked. “What?”

“Olivia is looking into it more in depth,” he said. “But, she believes it may have to do with Kara.”

Alex’s blood ran cold. She sat up straight. “To do with Kara how?”

J’onn took a deep breath. “We aren’t sure, yet. I will tell you once I know, but she’s safe now. You two will be able to move in with me next week, and we can start the process of me adopting Kara.”

Alex nodded. She took a few breaths and settled back again.

“And, I would like you to continue to think about my adopting you as well.”

Alex rubbed the back of her neck.

“I understand your hesitance,” J’onn said. “But there are benefits, to either adoption before your birthday, or waiting to do an adult adoption.”

Alex nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

She wouldn’t, but she’ll let him think she was.

“And, about going to school in the fall instead of working?”

“I, um…” Alex smiled. “I started working on an application to NCU yesterday.”

“That’s good, Alex. Have you thought at all about majors?”

“A little? Um. I was looking at the dance science graduate program for further down the road, so I guess something related for a bachelor's.”

J’onn smiled at her.

Pride bloomed in Alex’s chest.

J’onn’s watch beeped. “That’s our cue to head to the auditorium. You should best be going, if you hope to wish Ms. Lane good luck before the show.”

Alex nodded as she stood.

“Thank you, J’onn, for everything you’ve done so far.”

“I only wish I could have done it sooner.”

Alex grinned at him, then left the office. She quickly made her way through the school, weaving through the students and parents gathered.

The dance showcase wouldn’t officially start for just over an hour, but once Lucy was backstage, she would be too busy to do anything but prepare.

Alex turned a corner, only to backpedal at the sight of General Lane entering the building, flipping through a program as he walked.

Lucy barely talked about her father. All Alex really knew was that things were tense and Lucy was still mostly avoiding him.

She glanced around the corner to make sure he was gone, then quickly crossed the atrium.

* * *

Lucy shook her hand lightly to release some nerves as she checked in with her dancers in the studio as they stretched.

The nerves jittered in her stomach, buzzed behind her ears.

This was it.

This was the night that would decide her future.

She crossed the studio to where M’gann, still in sweats, was tying Vasquez’s tie.

“Was a solo the right choice?” Lucy asked when she reached them. “I mean, I could have gone back to the original with Alex.”

M’gann tightened the tie, then turned to her. She put her hands on Lucy’s shoulders. “That dance was good, yeah. But this one is amazing. You know that. We all know that. That’s why this is the one we’re doing.”

Lucy nodded. “Right, right.”

“Besides,” Vasquez cut in, pulling on their suit jacket. “It’s a little late now, isn’t it?”

Lucy gave them a side eye as M’gann backhanded their shoulder.

“Go do something with your music,” M’gann said.

Vasquez rolled their eyes, shoved their hands into their jean pockets, but didn’t move.

Lucy glanced past them at movement at the door, and grinned as Alex entered the studio.

“Oh, sure, her you’re happy to see,” Vasquez huffed. “Didn’t even say hi to us.”

Lucy shoved them lightly, making Alex laugh as she walked up.

She was happy, almost ecstatic, about something. Lucy could see the slight bounce in her step, the light in her eyes.

“Hey,” Alex said, stopping with a bit more space between them than necessary.

“Hi.”

“I just wanted to come wish you good luck,” Alex said.

“Well, thank you.”

“And-” Alex stepped a bit closer, lowered her voice “-I saw your father, going to the auditorium.”

Lucy closed her eyes, ducked her head.

She hadn’t talked to her father about him coming to the showcase, not since  _ that day _ anyway. She honestly hadn’t known if he was going to come or not.

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t see me,” Alex continued. “But I can leave if you want, to really make sure.”

Lucy shook her head. “No, I want you here. Just, be careful?”

Alex looked at her for a few moments. She nodded, then smiled.

“You’ll be great. I know it.”

Lucy nodded again. She looked around at the dancers. “We’ve got everyone, so we should probably get going.”

“Alright.”

Alex reached forward, pressing two of her fingers to Lucy’s.

“Good luck.”

She winked, then turned and left the studio.

“Was that meant to be a Vulcan finger touch?” Vasquez asked. “That’s adorable.”

Heat rose up Lucy’s cheeks. “She’s actually a massive nerd, behind that whole, tough and broody exterior.”

Vasquez laughed.

Lucy turned to her dancers. “Alright, everyone, let’s head backstage and start getting into costume.”

* * *

Maggie leaned against the wall of the school’s atrium, watching the crowd move and shift. She kept her head down, her hair covering her face.

Pictures of her hadn’t been spread as much as of Jamie, but she still had to be careful.

It probably would have been safer for her to stay at Erin’s, like she had made Jamie stay for the night, but she knew that she had to be at the showcase.

For Alex, for Erin, for Vasquez and M’gann.

For Lucy.

She was definitely there for Lucy.

They had become something closer to friends the past few weeks.

Maggie could see what Alex liked about Lucy.

She was funny, smart, absolutely gorgeous. She was good with Jamie and Kara.

And when she danced…

Maggie shook her head.

She looked around the atrium again to see Alex walking towards her. She pushed off of the wall and grinned.

“Hey,” she said.

Alex grinned at her. “Hey. Lucy is heading backstage to get ready. We still have an hour until the first performance, but we should still go grab seats.”

Maggie nodded. “Erin already saved us some. I’m just out here waiting for you.”

Alex grimaced. “Lucy’s dad is here,” she said. “If the seats are too close to him…”

“We’ll find different ones.”

The other night, Lucy and Alex had told her what had happened. Lucy had told her how tense things were at home, how scared she was sometimes that her father would decide to actually do something.

Maggie regretted minimizing it when they had spoken during the drive.

“Want me to go in first, make sure he isn’t near Erin?”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “You don’t know what he looks like.”

“True.”

Alex shook her head with a light laugh. “I’ll keep an eye out and let you know if I see him.”

“You’re sure?”

“I won’t let him scare me off from being here for Lucy.”

Maggie smiled. She reached out and squeezed Alex’s hand.

“Alright.”

She dropped Alex’s hand as they made their way into the auditorium, but their hands brushed every few steps.

“She’s a bit further up, on the right side,” Maggie said as they moved around people in the aisle.

“How far up?”

Maggie smirked. “Far up enough that she can watch Vasquez in the music area.”

“The pit?”

“Yeah, that.”

“So, like, all the way up?”

“Basically.”

Alex groaned. She was noticeably tense as she kept scanning the crowd.

“You need to leave at any point, just let me know,” Maggie said.

Alex nodded. “I think that’s him, in the center. Balding red hair.”

Maggie scanned the people already seated until she found who Alex was talking about.

“Alright. He’ll probably only see the back of your head, if he even notices. And I’ll check if he’s still there anytime you need to leave.”

Alex nodded again. Maggie brushed her hand against Alex’s, then pointed out Erin a few rows from the front.

Erin smiled at them as the made their way past the other people in the row.

“Wow,” Alex said as they sat. “You’re going to get some great views of Vasquez’s ass from here.”

Erin laughed. “I really am.”

“Did either of you get a program?” Alex asked.

Maggie pulled hers from her back pocket and passed it over.

“Lucy’s up last,” Erin said.

“I mean,” Alex said. “Save the best and all.”

* * *

Lucy peeked out between a gap in the curtains as the dancer before her left the stage to applause.

She quickly found Alex, Maggie, and Erin in the front, all talking as they watched Vasquez setup.

In the front of the center section was Director J’onzz and a group who had to be the dance company representatives.

And not far behind them was her father.

Lucy tried to breath through the lump in her throat, against the weight pressing on her chest.

A hand on her arm made her jump. She turned to see M’gann smiling at her.

“It’s going to be great,” M’gann said. “You’re going to be great.”

Lucy managed to take a deep breath. She nodded.

She stepped away from the curtain and turned to her dancers, giving them a big smile.

“Alright. This is what we’ve worked for, so let’s go out there and wow them all.”

A cheer went through the group before they all split up to go to their starting positions.

M’gann squeezed Lucy’s arm before going as well.

Lucy took a few steadying breaths. She nodded to herself.

Okay.

This was it.

* * *

Maggie slipped her hand into Alex’s as Vasquez started the music.

Alex squeezed lightly, but kept her eyes on the stage as the first few notes played.

Then the curtains rose.

Lucy was center stage, alone, the spotlight just above her.

Alex couldn’t help but smile as the music continued, the spotlight moved, and the dance started.

At first it was just Lucy.

The music was pure classical, the dance ballet.

Alex could see the aspects from the partner dance she had adapted into the solo, could see where Lucy had changed things.

Then, the music swelled, the classical sound mixing with more modern beats, and the backup dancers entered.

And this was what Lucy had seen on that roof.

The dancers moved together seamlessly.

Contemporary and modern dance blended together.

And Lucy was in the center of it all, seeming to conduct the other dancers the way Vasquez did the musicians. 

She was fluid, then she was solid, then she was like a gas.

She was ever changing, shifting, forming.

Even when she was surrounded by the rest of the dancers, the focus was on her.

Then the dance was over and Lucy’s smile was shining and Alex was on her feet clapping before she could think about it.

Maggie stood next to her, and Erin, and Alex was suddenly aware that most of the auditorium was standing.

Lucy found them in the crowd and grinned before bowing and rushing off of the stage with her dancers.

Alex grinned at Maggie, then laughed as Erin stared at Vasquez starting to take down their setup.

* * *

Lucy’s entire body buzzed as she led the way to the atrium where friends and family were waiting.

M’gann was pressed to her side, just as giddy. 

It was over and, oh, it had felt perfect.

They pushed through the double doors, and entered the crowded room. The energy of the waiting families just fed into what Lucy was already feeling.

Her dancers quickly dispersed.

Lucy hesitated, not wanting to find Alex and Maggie until after she knew where her father was.

“Lucy.”

Problem solved.

She turned to her father. He held out a small bouquet.

Hyacinths.

Her mother’s favorite flower.

“You did really good, sweetie,” he said. “You’re mother would have been proud.” He took a deep breath. “I’m proud.”

Lucy nodded, taking the flowers.

“Thank you.”

“I’ll see you at home tonight?”

“Actually, I was wondering if I could spend the night with Vasquez and M’gann, to celebrate.”

She could just see the hardness appear behind his eyes before he nodded.

“Yes, that would be fine.”

She smiled. “Thanks, Dad.”

He gave her a gruff nod, then turned and walked into the crowd.

Lucy watched him go, bringing the flowers up to smell them.

She closed her eyes, letting herself imagine, just for a moment, that her mother was there.

That it wasn’t flowers, but perfume she was smelling.

She tried to imagine seeing her mother’s smile from the crowd.

Tried to imagine her mother’s smile.

“Hey.”

Lucy opened her eyes.

Alex was grinning at her.

Lucy glanced around at the crowd.

“He’s gone,” Alex said. “I watched him leave before heading over.”

Lucy nodded, then smiled back. She threw her arms around Alex’s neck, hugging her tight.

“You were amazing,” Alex said.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Maggie stepped up next to Alex. “I know nothing about dancing,” she said. “But, yeah, that looked pretty fucking good.”

Lucy laughed.

“Thanks.” She smelled the flowers again. “My dad isn’t expecting me home tonight.”

“Perfect,” Vasquez cut in. “Party at Erin’s.”

“Why at my place?” Erin asked.

“Because you’re eighteen and have what's basically your own place,” Vasquez explained.

Erin rolled her eyes, but grinned.

“Lucy?”

They all turned to see Director J’onzz with a short woman.

Cat Grant.

Lucy squared her shoulders, clutched the flower stems. She stepped forward.

“So, you are Lucy Lane,” Cat said. One of her eyebrows was quirked up, a small smile tugged at her lips. “J’onn has been telling me about you the past few years. After your show tonight, I must say, I am impressed.”

Lucy’s knees almost went limp beneath her.

Cat Grant.

_ The  _ Cat Grant was impressed with her.

“I would like to offer you a position in my company.”

_ The  _ Cat Grant was offering her a job.

“Don’t answer yet,’ Cat continued. “I will be contacting you further with more details, and am sure many of the other directors here will be making offers as well, but, just remember where I could take you.”

Lucy nodded.

Cat turned, then stopped. She narrowed her eyes at Alex.

“I know you.”

Lucy almost laughed at how wide Alex’s eyes went, at how she fidgeted and shifted her weight.

“Yes, Miss. Cat,” Alex said. “I was one of your students years ago.”

Cat looked her up and down, then tilted her head.

“Alexandra Danvers.”

Alex’s eyes went even wider.

“It’s been a few years,” Cat said.

Alex nodded.

“Are you a student here as well?”

Alex shook her head. “No, I’m, uh, well…”

“Alex helped me with some of the choreography,” Lucy jumped in. “And was my rehearsal partner.”

Cat looked at her.

Lucy locked her knees to keep from bolting under the scrutiny.

Cat nodded.

“It was mostly her, though,” Alex said. “I didn’t do much at all, honesty.”

Cat sighed. “You can go back and forth all you want without me here.” She looked at Lucy. “I will be in touch about the offer.” She turned to Alex. “And how could I get in touch with you?”

“Through me,” J’onzz said.

Cat nodded. “I have some of your parent’s things I think you would like.”

Alex nodded, and just stared after the woman as Cat stalked off.

“Good job tonight, Lucy,” J’onzz said before following her.

Silence settled over their group as the rest of the room buzzed around them.

“Well,” Vasquez dawled. “That seemed life changing.”

Lucy turned to Alex.

“Cat Grant was your dance instructor?”

Alex nodded. “And she’s still really hot.”

There was light laughter, then Lucy turned to M’gann.

“I got an offer!”

“You got an offer.”

Lucy flung her arms around M’gann.

A weight lifted off of Lucy as she stepped back. She hugged them all, Vasquez, Erin, Maggie, then finally Alex.

She pulled back, quickly glanced around, then pressed a quick kiss to Alex’s lips.

“Thank you,” she said.

“It was all you,” Alex replied.

Lucy just shook her head and pulled her in for another hug.

* * *

Alex pressed close to Lucy as Erin pushed her apartment door open.

As soon as they were inside, and the door closed, Alex pulled Lucy into a kiss much deeper than the one at the school.

She heard Maggie chuckle behind them, felt her drag a hand along her ass as Maggie made her way into the apartment.

“Congratulations,” Alex whispered.

Lucy hummed, and pressed their lips together again.

“Thank you.”

“Alex!”

She groaned, but smiled as she turned to Kara.

“Yeah?”

“Jamie won’t let me change the channel and put  _ Danny Phantom _ on!”

Alex glanced up at Jamie, grinning on the couch. “Well, Jamie’s just mean like that.”

She picked Kara up as she ignored Jamie’s protest.

And she was really going to have to stop picking Kara up soon.

“I’ve got some news for you,” she said.

Kara tilted her head. Alex walked towards the kitchen, and set her on the counter. She brushed some of Kara’s hair back.

“We’re going to a new home this week.”

Kara’s eyes went wide. “No! They’re gunna move us away and we aren’t going see our friends anymore and I don’t really like Fred or Edna that much, but I like it here.”

Alex glanced past her, at the group trying and failing to not look like they were listening to everything being said.

“We won’t be leaving here,” Alex said. “you remember J’onn? Director J’onzz??”

Kara gave her a look. “Yes, dummy.”

“Well, he’s going to foster us.”

Kara started to smile. “Yeah?”

Alex nodded. “Yeah, and he might even adopt you.”

“Really? We’re getting adopted?”

Alex couldn’t help but grin at Kara’s excitement. She didn’t correct her.

“Yeah.”

Kara threw herself at Alex, wrapping her arms around Alex’s neck and putting so much force behind it that Alex stumbled back.

Alex squeezed her, pressing her face to the side of Kara’s head.

Kara was going to have a good home. They weren’t going to be separated.

Alex laughed. She spun in place. Kara squealed and laughed and clung to her.

Alex didn’t think she’d felt that light in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's it.  
> I do have two connected pieces planned. One will be a mid-quel about how Maggie got Jamie back. The other will be a sequel set even further after this chapter. I hope to tie up a few things with those.  
> That being said, neither have been started yet. I have a few other pieces I want to finish before getting back into this universe.
> 
> A massive thanks to anyone who kudos or left a comment, especially to those who left a comment on each chapter, I looked forward to each of your comments.
> 
> Thanks to all of you :D

**Author's Note:**

> So, after almost 11 months, I finally finished this.  
> Updates will either be every day, or every other day, depending on my mood.
> 
> Title is from the song Step Up
> 
> Major thanks to Crimsoncat, Sandstonesunspear, and Change-the-Rules over on tumblr for beta-ing and dealing with my questions.


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